Is it OCD or just ANXIETY?
I have a reoccuring fear of pregnancy (tocophobia). It happens every month, if I am even a little bit late for my period, whether I have had sex or not. What is crazy, actually, is that my boyfriend of two years and I have NEVER had sexual intercourse, not even once. Yet, I still obsess and am doing so this very moment. I am four days late on my period and have already taken two pregnancy tests, both negative. I think the stress is what is keeping my period at bay, but in the back of my mind I think about pregnancy and how fearful I am of it and it starts the merry-go-round all over. I make myself physically ill with worrying about it and I do this MOST every month. Does anyone have a similar experience or can they share with me tips to overcome this? It is really starting to ruin my health, life, and relationship with my boyfriend. I think he thinks I am crazy because he says there is no way I could be pregnant and that TWO negative pregnancy tests should tell me that. Please help.
It's OCD. Pure and simple, and it creates the anxiety. Actually, it's your reaction to it that creates the anxiety.
Stop testing yourself. Don't do that anymore. Yes, you will feel anxious but this anxiety will eventually pass. The anxiety that you get from testing all the time will come back over and over until you stop testing.
Another thing you can do is write a scenerio about how being pregnant is a wonderful thing and how you would love for something like that to occur. Write for about twenty minutes. Then read it 45 minutes a day - which means you will be reading your scenerio probably two, maybe three x a day because 45 minutes is a good amount of time. You will feel anxiety with this for awhile until you get bored and desensitize to this fear.
Also, allow the fear and the feelings about your fear to be there in your body. Allow them to come and go. Stop resisting. Anxiety will not hurt you, and it will pass when you stop fighting it.
Are you working the program?
Stop avoiding your fear. It's bogus. It's not real.
Stop testing yourself. Don't do that anymore. Yes, you will feel anxious but this anxiety will eventually pass. The anxiety that you get from testing all the time will come back over and over until you stop testing.
Another thing you can do is write a scenerio about how being pregnant is a wonderful thing and how you would love for something like that to occur. Write for about twenty minutes. Then read it 45 minutes a day - which means you will be reading your scenerio probably two, maybe three x a day because 45 minutes is a good amount of time. You will feel anxiety with this for awhile until you get bored and desensitize to this fear.
Also, allow the fear and the feelings about your fear to be there in your body. Allow them to come and go. Stop resisting. Anxiety will not hurt you, and it will pass when you stop fighting it.
Are you working the program?
Stop avoiding your fear. It's bogus. It's not real.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold
-
aliengal24
- Posts: 80
- Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:08 am
Hey there,
It does sound like OCD. You are obsessing!
You might want to go on a birth control pill, maybe that will asure you that there is DEFINITLY no way of being pregnant, even though there isn't right now anyways. But just talk to yourself, tell yourself there is no way physically possible that this could happen.
I have had the same problem at one time or another. My periods have been a little off, and whenever I was late I would start freaking out and crying because I was also afraid of being pregnant. But I assured myself that it wasn't the case.
Maybe this helped a little, hopefully.
It does sound like OCD. You are obsessing!
You might want to go on a birth control pill, maybe that will asure you that there is DEFINITLY no way of being pregnant, even though there isn't right now anyways. But just talk to yourself, tell yourself there is no way physically possible that this could happen.
I have had the same problem at one time or another. My periods have been a little off, and whenever I was late I would start freaking out and crying because I was also afraid of being pregnant. But I assured myself that it wasn't the case.
Maybe this helped a little, hopefully.
You are right. I should stop testing. However, the minute I think that's a good idea, I start thinking about how this time I MIGHT actually be pregnant or something. Like I said, my boyfriend and I have never had intercourse, but about three weeks ago, we engaged in some manual sex for the first and LAST time. I freaked out so bad because I was running scenarios through my head of how semen could have come in contact with my body and somehow made a baby. I've been assured by everyone that the chances of that are so rare that they aren't even worth thinking about (or testing) over, yet I'm still replaying the entire thing over and over in my mind, trying to make myself feel better or make myself a little more certain nothing could have happened. It really is driving me crazy and I know that the more I obsess, the more I can delay my period, but I just cannot get off the merry-go-round.
I'm trying to face my fears and realize that - especially after two negative pregnancy tests - there is nothing to be concerned about. I've even tried to analyze my feelings and get them down on paper, focusing on why I'm so petrified of the idea of pregnancy. So far nothing has been able to calm me down long term. Either way, you are right, Boon. I need to face the feelings that come along with this problem and not run from them, but I am so scared that this time it could be real and not just in my head.
I'm trying to face my fears and realize that - especially after two negative pregnancy tests - there is nothing to be concerned about. I've even tried to analyze my feelings and get them down on paper, focusing on why I'm so petrified of the idea of pregnancy. So far nothing has been able to calm me down long term. Either way, you are right, Boon. I need to face the feelings that come along with this problem and not run from them, but I am so scared that this time it could be real and not just in my head.
Carla,
Thanks for that. I've been assured by some of my friends that nothing is wrong. They always use the: "Think of how many people out there have unprotected sex, let alone doing something as minimal as you did, and they didn't get pregnant, so just think how much less your risk is." The one problem is they don't seem to understand the nature of anxiety and OCD and how you can get so hung up on something that you actually believe it is real whether there is any evidence of it or not!
That really helps. How many times did you go through a freak out like this? How did you calm yourself down? Did everything turn out okay in your situations?
Thanks again! The more I can hear that I'm okay, the better I am going to be
LisMsMD
Thanks for that. I've been assured by some of my friends that nothing is wrong. They always use the: "Think of how many people out there have unprotected sex, let alone doing something as minimal as you did, and they didn't get pregnant, so just think how much less your risk is." The one problem is they don't seem to understand the nature of anxiety and OCD and how you can get so hung up on something that you actually believe it is real whether there is any evidence of it or not!
That really helps. How many times did you go through a freak out like this? How did you calm yourself down? Did everything turn out okay in your situations?
Thanks again! The more I can hear that I'm okay, the better I am going to be
LisMsMD
I know this sounds contradictory but eventually you are going to need to stop reassuring yourself. You are constantly "feeding" the fear. That will not, can not, and never has, made a fear go away. You are eventually going to need to expose to your fear. Which means:
1. Writing your worst case scenerio and reading it over and over and over again.
2. Dismissing your fear by shouting STOP and getting on with your day.
3. NOT testing at all - no matter what you hear in your head. No matter how badly you feel.
4. Just breathing into your feelings and sensations and even getting to the point where you make being pregnant ok with you. If you didn't care about this you would no longer be having any anxious symptoms. Not caring one way or the other is not going to make you irresponsible. You are responsible. Your values won't be taken away. You'll be able to see them more clearly. (How can you see them clearly when you are struggling with anxiety?)
No hurry. Take your time. When you are ready to expose to this fear you will know and you will have your guideline to get started.
1. Writing your worst case scenerio and reading it over and over and over again.
2. Dismissing your fear by shouting STOP and getting on with your day.
3. NOT testing at all - no matter what you hear in your head. No matter how badly you feel.
4. Just breathing into your feelings and sensations and even getting to the point where you make being pregnant ok with you. If you didn't care about this you would no longer be having any anxious symptoms. Not caring one way or the other is not going to make you irresponsible. You are responsible. Your values won't be taken away. You'll be able to see them more clearly. (How can you see them clearly when you are struggling with anxiety?)
No hurry. Take your time. When you are ready to expose to this fear you will know and you will have your guideline to get started.
"Life is not about comfort. It is about living." Dr. Howard Liebgold
Whew, I just need to take a deep breath and tell myself I am okay and that I can make it through this. Right now, reassuring myself (and being reassured by everyone else) is the only way I know how to even remotely cope with this. Maybe it's not coping so much as it is just hiding from the fear. I just know that if I were pregnant right now, my life as I know it would totally change because of ONE mistake.
I come from a strict, conservative household where babies do not come before marriage and neither does sex. I love my family and would not want to disappoint them and I know this would probably effect them more than it would me. That is where the fear comes from: what they would think of me, what they would do, what others would say about me, "the golden child" making such a huge mistake, what would my younger siblings and cousins who look up to me think, where would I get money to parent or abort or whatever my decision was, the list goes on and on. It's just very hard to face that kind of fear that could have so many negative consequences.
I think in time I will be able to face my fears. Believe it or not, I'm doing better now with it than I ever have. I've made huge progess since the very first time I ever freaked out at the thought of pregnancy. I'm just hoping for the best and dying to get off this OCD merry-go-round.
I come from a strict, conservative household where babies do not come before marriage and neither does sex. I love my family and would not want to disappoint them and I know this would probably effect them more than it would me. That is where the fear comes from: what they would think of me, what they would do, what others would say about me, "the golden child" making such a huge mistake, what would my younger siblings and cousins who look up to me think, where would I get money to parent or abort or whatever my decision was, the list goes on and on. It's just very hard to face that kind of fear that could have so many negative consequences.
I think in time I will be able to face my fears. Believe it or not, I'm doing better now with it than I ever have. I've made huge progess since the very first time I ever freaked out at the thought of pregnancy. I'm just hoping for the best and dying to get off this OCD merry-go-round.