I'm scared
I've been scared since I first heard about the movie paranormal activity. I shouldn't be scared since I haven't seen it but when it comes to night I get scared again! I've only heard little things and that has been enough for me! I've always been very scared of things like that and it has been my greatest fear!!! What can I do? How could I convince my mind that that isn't real and not to fear anymore? It's ridiculous but it scares even if I know it's not true! Every night when I think it's getting closer to going to bed I start to shake and get scared! Can anyone help me?
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Guest
ytez -
You've got to treat this fear just like all of the other irrational fears that we get with our panic disorder. You've got to face it and tell yourself that it's okay. The feelings will pass and you will get through it.
Ask yourself how many times you've had this fear. And then remind yourself that it has never happened. Not only that, it never is going to happen. Fear feeds on fear, so once you get more comfortable confronting it, it will lose it's control over you. That's how anxiety works.
Also, I think that nighttime is a common time of day for people like us to get consumed in our worries and anxieties. The day is coming to a close, things are quieting down, and our minds are much more free to wander. That's where we get into trouble because more often than not, we tend let them wander into scary thoughts. Just being aware of this can help.
So keep practicing your relaxation exercises. Focus on positive thought replacement (assuming you've reached that point in the program - if not, let me know and I'd be happy to explain it to you). And know that it's okay to be afraid and the fear will pass.
A friend from the other side of the Cascades,
Jamie
You've got to treat this fear just like all of the other irrational fears that we get with our panic disorder. You've got to face it and tell yourself that it's okay. The feelings will pass and you will get through it.
Ask yourself how many times you've had this fear. And then remind yourself that it has never happened. Not only that, it never is going to happen. Fear feeds on fear, so once you get more comfortable confronting it, it will lose it's control over you. That's how anxiety works.
Also, I think that nighttime is a common time of day for people like us to get consumed in our worries and anxieties. The day is coming to a close, things are quieting down, and our minds are much more free to wander. That's where we get into trouble because more often than not, we tend let them wander into scary thoughts. Just being aware of this can help.
So keep practicing your relaxation exercises. Focus on positive thought replacement (assuming you've reached that point in the program - if not, let me know and I'd be happy to explain it to you). And know that it's okay to be afraid and the fear will pass.
A friend from the other side of the Cascades,
Jamie
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Guest
Thank you Jaime,
Your right, I know it's my fear that is controling me and I haven't found the right way to control it! Can u explain to me what you were advising me to do when I feel this fear? You mentioned to think of the point of the program, how does that work? Thank you once more I will try to practice that.
I will try to stop the fear from controling me...one day by one day.
Your right, I know it's my fear that is controling me and I haven't found the right way to control it! Can u explain to me what you were advising me to do when I feel this fear? You mentioned to think of the point of the program, how does that work? Thank you once more I will try to practice that.
I will try to stop the fear from controling me...one day by one day.
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Guest
ytez -
What I was trying to say is that it's okay to be afraid. Our irrational fears won't hurt us. They can make us very uncomfortable and can feel very disturbing and real, but they simply can't hurt us. The trick is to allow yourself to go through the fear rather than fight it. This isn't easy and requires a lot of patience and hard work. But as you repeatedly expose yourself to you fears, your reactions to them will lessen over time. If you continue to fight your fears, usually you'll only strengthen them and make them last longer.
I think you misunderstood the section in my post about the "point". I was referring to a point (of time or progress) IN the program, not the point OF the program. Specifically, I was making the assumption that you had reached the lesson on positive thought replacement. If you haven't, the general idea is to immediately recognize when you are having a negative or fearful thought. Once you catch yourself, then immediately replace that thought with a realistic positive thought.
For example, if you find yourself thinking "I'm don't feel good, I'm going to have a bad day," replace that with something like "I may not feel good right now, but the feelings will pass; just because I don't feel good now doesn't mean that I wont' feel better in a little while." Try not to be over ambitious and replace it with something like "I feel great and I'll never have fears again" because you won't believe it and it won't work very well. Keep practicing this every time you catch yourself having negative or fearful thoughts. Soon it will become automatic and you'll start to believe your positive statements. It really helps. Fear and anxiety are just mind games and you have every power to take control, even if that means choosing to just let go and coast through.
Sorry if I confused you before. I hope this clears things up a bit. Please feel free to message me if this isn't clear or you have any other questions.
Be well,
Jamie
What I was trying to say is that it's okay to be afraid. Our irrational fears won't hurt us. They can make us very uncomfortable and can feel very disturbing and real, but they simply can't hurt us. The trick is to allow yourself to go through the fear rather than fight it. This isn't easy and requires a lot of patience and hard work. But as you repeatedly expose yourself to you fears, your reactions to them will lessen over time. If you continue to fight your fears, usually you'll only strengthen them and make them last longer.
I think you misunderstood the section in my post about the "point". I was referring to a point (of time or progress) IN the program, not the point OF the program. Specifically, I was making the assumption that you had reached the lesson on positive thought replacement. If you haven't, the general idea is to immediately recognize when you are having a negative or fearful thought. Once you catch yourself, then immediately replace that thought with a realistic positive thought.
For example, if you find yourself thinking "I'm don't feel good, I'm going to have a bad day," replace that with something like "I may not feel good right now, but the feelings will pass; just because I don't feel good now doesn't mean that I wont' feel better in a little while." Try not to be over ambitious and replace it with something like "I feel great and I'll never have fears again" because you won't believe it and it won't work very well. Keep practicing this every time you catch yourself having negative or fearful thoughts. Soon it will become automatic and you'll start to believe your positive statements. It really helps. Fear and anxiety are just mind games and you have every power to take control, even if that means choosing to just let go and coast through.
Sorry if I confused you before. I hope this clears things up a bit. Please feel free to message me if this isn't clear or you have any other questions.
Be well,
Jamie
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Guest
Thank you,
I'd like to know something...has the program worked for you? Do you feel better and free now? If you do, I'm do happy for you, I hope to someday feel that way too! What is the most helpful skill/method that has helped you overcome anxiety/depression?
I'm sorry I did misunderstood you but I get your point now. It's hard for me to believe my positiv replacement thoughts and get used to them because I have a low sel esteem and feel like I won't be ever in control of my life again.
I'd like to know something...has the program worked for you? Do you feel better and free now? If you do, I'm do happy for you, I hope to someday feel that way too! What is the most helpful skill/method that has helped you overcome anxiety/depression?
I'm sorry I did misunderstood you but I get your point now. It's hard for me to believe my positiv replacement thoughts and get used to them because I have a low sel esteem and feel like I won't be ever in control of my life again.
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Guest
Yes, the Program has definitely helped me. I haven't finished it yet; I still need to do Sessions 13 to 15. I haven't stayed on schedule though, so it's taken me longer than 15 weeks. I don't think that matters much, just that I'm making the effort and getting things done.
When I started the program, I had just gone on leave from work. I was terrified to go or drive anywhere, especially by myself. I just wanted to die because I thought that this was as good as my life was going to get and I would never be better. But I was very wrong!
I'm still recovering, but I'm making big strides right now. I'm back at the office for limited hours and am quite a bit better with driving. I hope to be back full time soon.
The two things I've found most helpful from the program is repeated exposure and positive self talk. For anxiety exposure, I practice every day going out and driving either alone or with someone. It doesn't matter where I go, just that I do it and that I let myself feel some of my fears. As I become more comfortable feeling the anxiety, I'm able to push my boundaries farther and farther. By repeatedly feeling the anxiety and seeing that I always survive, I reinforce that I don't really have anything to fear.
As for positive self talk, the best tools have been the positive thought replacement (as I described before) and just simple self compassion. I give myself praise for everything I accomplish, even if it seems small. Just trying is an accomplishment and needs to be recognized.
Don't worry that you don't believe your positive thoughts yet. It takes time to retrain our thinking. But it starts to become more natural the more often you do it. Keep practicing and you'll be surprised with the results.
For me, I think I'll always have anxiety. But I am learning that it won't run my life. I always have choices. I am choosing to take my life back and not react to the fear. And by not reacting, the feelings of anxiety become less and less intense. So even though I may continue to have anxious thoughts, I'll know how to deal with them and will be able to lead the life I want.
I'm certainly not unique in this way. I think that everyone can make the same progress. Believe me, it's been a lot of hard work and a long time coming. But I'm getting there and I'm not giving up. I encourage you to do the same!
Good luck,
Jamie
When I started the program, I had just gone on leave from work. I was terrified to go or drive anywhere, especially by myself. I just wanted to die because I thought that this was as good as my life was going to get and I would never be better. But I was very wrong!
I'm still recovering, but I'm making big strides right now. I'm back at the office for limited hours and am quite a bit better with driving. I hope to be back full time soon.
The two things I've found most helpful from the program is repeated exposure and positive self talk. For anxiety exposure, I practice every day going out and driving either alone or with someone. It doesn't matter where I go, just that I do it and that I let myself feel some of my fears. As I become more comfortable feeling the anxiety, I'm able to push my boundaries farther and farther. By repeatedly feeling the anxiety and seeing that I always survive, I reinforce that I don't really have anything to fear.
As for positive self talk, the best tools have been the positive thought replacement (as I described before) and just simple self compassion. I give myself praise for everything I accomplish, even if it seems small. Just trying is an accomplishment and needs to be recognized.
Don't worry that you don't believe your positive thoughts yet. It takes time to retrain our thinking. But it starts to become more natural the more often you do it. Keep practicing and you'll be surprised with the results.
For me, I think I'll always have anxiety. But I am learning that it won't run my life. I always have choices. I am choosing to take my life back and not react to the fear. And by not reacting, the feelings of anxiety become less and less intense. So even though I may continue to have anxious thoughts, I'll know how to deal with them and will be able to lead the life I want.
I'm certainly not unique in this way. I think that everyone can make the same progress. Believe me, it's been a lot of hard work and a long time coming. But I'm getting there and I'm not giving up. I encourage you to do the same!
Good luck,
Jamie
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Guest
Thank you:) that was something I always wondered...if people actually get out of this whole and live theirs lives thanks to the program and God.
Yesterday was a good day for me, I hadn't felt that good in a while, I felt trully proud of myself! I felt like there was more to life again a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time! I know that I have to continue practicing on positive self talk because I still don't beloved it and it's weird to me to treat myself in a nice, gentle, compassionate way. Thank you so much for your words! I'm so happy for you and I hope you learn more from the program that can help you feel less affected by your anxiety!
Best wishes:)
Yesterday was a good day for me, I hadn't felt that good in a while, I felt trully proud of myself! I felt like there was more to life again a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time! I know that I have to continue practicing on positive self talk because I still don't beloved it and it's weird to me to treat myself in a nice, gentle, compassionate way. Thank you so much for your words! I'm so happy for you and I hope you learn more from the program that can help you feel less affected by your anxiety!
Best wishes:)
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Guest