falling between success and failure in social anxiety disorder

progkiller · Post by **progkiller** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 3:09 pm

I took this program at the end of 2007. I have finished all the 14 lessons and I worked as a salesman in a shop at the beginning of 2008. By changing my own thinking and because of the chance of facing more and more people in my work, I felt that I was more confident and I had overcome my social anxiety. I was the top salesman in the shop.

At the middle of 2009, I decided to start my own business. I was really concerned whether I can do it since my business requires me to work silently alone to do some IT stuff. Actually, when I work silently alone, I felt that I cannot focus in my job. My mind is diverted and I cannot thinking rationally. I feel so desperated because I am building my own website business that I need to work silently alone. I know that if I go out to find a salesman job to work again, my negative and anxious feeling will go away quickly. However, this is not what I want.

Does anyone has any experience on that or is there any method to overcome this? Please advice.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:06 pm

Well what i'd like to know is what kinds of thoughts you are having at the time. Are there scary thoughts accompanying?

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:23 pm

I can't me sure about the thought I have when I work alone. I can handle certain level of technical stuff. However, when I need to handle technical works that needs very indepth logical thinking like writing programming code or learning how to use a web CMS system, I would feel tired easily. Sometimes, I am afraid that when I focus in my silent work so much, I would lose my skill to communicate with people. Every time after focusing on silent work, I need huge among of time to get used to talking to people. I think this is one of my concern.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:32 pm

I had once overcome social anxiety before in 2001. I did the most frightening thing by giving public speech in the street. During those time, I was extremely confident. I could communicate with anybody and even when I worked silently alone. I could be very focused and thinking logically. Later, I worked as a teacher in a secondary school. I was intimidated by those naughty students that my problem became more serious. I had depersonalization feeling when I give public speech. I get my confident back when I work on the Attacking Anxiety & Depression program and worked as a salesman.

I think if I get a full time job now, I will be confident again very soon, but that is not what I want.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 02, 2010 4:53 pm

I do have a similar situation however unfortunately I don't have any suggestions. Going thru school I was always really shy and preferred to be by myself. After school I got a job at a local office supply store just stocking shelves. It was great because I rarely had to speak with anyone other than to tell them where something was located. This was right around the time the PC was just starting to become affordable for a person to own at home. Unfortunately nobody where I worked knew much about them including myself but I knew more than most so anytime a person had a questions I was sent to the computer isle to answer their questions. After a while I got pretty good with it and decided to go to school to get an IT degree. At the same time I ended up being sent permanently to the computer isle as more and more people were starting to be curious and have questions. Over the years my confidence grew and I now don't have any problems speaking to others especially about IT stuff since I feel I am more knowledgeable than most others on the subject. I eventually moved on from sales into a corporate environment still providing IT support so I get a good deal of face time with people. One of the programs I completed though was in web design and programming. I hate it though because I don't get to speak with people. The thing that years ago I hated more than anything I now need in order to be happy at work. Fortunately the work I do is still IT but not one that requires me to go to my office and shut the door. I used to get really nervous speaking with people and felt it was what was causing me a lot of anxiety. Now I get really nervous and have panic attacks over everything from news, weather, finances, but I never feel anxious about talking with someone face to face. I almost need this now. I'm not an advice giver but maybe join a club or make an interactive site with a forum like this site so that you don't feel like it is just you alone. Maybe take multiple breaks during the day where you have to go interact with others. Good Luck.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 03, 2010 11:25 am

Well feeling tired easily tells me for sure there is some negative thoughts there. Possibly things like "this is too hard", "this will take too long" or perhaps you start to think about all the things you think you need to get done and you aren't doing them.

You worry about losing your skill to communicate with people. That sounds like it is a big contributer to your problem. Could you really lose your skill to communicate? How much time do you spend around people in your social life?

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 03, 2010 10:06 pm

I actually don't spend much time talking to people as I am builiding my own website now. This is a website business. I have to work alone a lot before the website is launched. I am trying to do some breathing exercise to remove the depress feeling recently. It seems it helps a lot. However, I still couldn't fully master it.

I had tried to do the breathing exercise similar to that in the relaxation tape before, but it made me feel a little bit dizzy and I have a depersonalization feeling after that. Therefore, I stopped practicing it. I hope I can practice it better this time that it could help me remove the depressed and tired feeling.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:54 pm

is there a possibility that you are just missing being around people right now?

The breathing exercise can be somewhat challenging to do while in any other position than lying down but it can still work. It isn't completely important for you to inhale to the max capacity when you're standing or sitting and doing the breathing exercises. If you can close your eyes while doing it, it makes it alot more effective.

Mike

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Feb 06, 2010 9:37 pm

I have been practicing the breathing exercise now. It seems I am much better after I do it. I still feel a little bit depersonalized after doing it. I keep doing it and try to find the right among to do it. I am optimistic that it would help me a lot in dealing with my phobia. Thanks for you help any way.