Finding Time
I seem to be caught up in doing everything perfectly. Because of this I feel paralized when starting the program and/or I find myself beating myself up because I am not doing everything the program suggests. For example, I am now on session three but I can't seem to find the time to write down all the negative thoughts. I work 8 + hours a day and come home to being a mother. By the time my little one goes to bed I am exhausted. The most I can seem to do is listen to the CDs on the way to work and the relaxation CD at nigth before bed. I excersize but always have. I am concerned that if I don't figure out how to do everything I will not succeed and it makes me more depressed because I don't want to be depressed any more. How do you find the time to do it all? What are the most important things I can be doing in order to succeed?
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Guest
Give yourself permission to do less. You are doing a lot if you are listening to the tapes-especially making time for the relaxation tape at bedtime. I too am a perfectionist so I feel the same pressures to do it "right" especially because the nagging fear that if I don't, I will fail completely BUT that voice is fading. I started in January and I'm on week 10 -- clearly not perfectly on schedule -- but I've taken the advise of being kind to myself and practicing positive, soothing self-talk especially when I don't live up to "expectations". The word soothing has been key for me. Words and phrases that I would use to soothe one of my friends, I use on myself. "You didn't get to the journaling yet but you are doing the tapes, you are changing the way you think about things, the journaling will come" and it will as you are ready. You have made a commitment to something good. Be proud of every step forward you take and give yourself a mental "Good for You!"
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Guest
Good advice, Deps1. I have always been an "all or nothing" person. I would start a self-improvement project and as long as I did it perfectly, all was well. But as soon as I couldn't maintain the schedule or rules or whatever, I just stopped. Unfortunately, that means that I didn't accomplish those goals because I gave up too easily.
I have a new favorite saying, which I heard on the Michael J. Fox TV special a few weeks ago: "Do the next right thing as opposed to doing the next thing right."
"Slow and steady wins the race." I really believe that we need to give ourselves credit for every little thing we do right and quit focusing on what we didn't do perfectly. Perfect isn't the goal.
I have a new favorite saying, which I heard on the Michael J. Fox TV special a few weeks ago: "Do the next right thing as opposed to doing the next thing right."
"Slow and steady wins the race." I really believe that we need to give ourselves credit for every little thing we do right and quit focusing on what we didn't do perfectly. Perfect isn't the goal.
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Guest
LAP,
I have learned to strive for perfection but understand that it's not possible. We all have high standards, and that's a good thing. Perfection is an ideal. I'd like to suggest that you look at what you've written and see how much you do accomplish despite your limitations. Do what you can. Nobody can ask more than that of you. You have TWO full time jobs (being a mom is definitely a full time job) and you still exercise. Focus on what you can do and what you have done right and give yourself the credit you deserve.
I have learned to strive for perfection but understand that it's not possible. We all have high standards, and that's a good thing. Perfection is an ideal. I'd like to suggest that you look at what you've written and see how much you do accomplish despite your limitations. Do what you can. Nobody can ask more than that of you. You have TWO full time jobs (being a mom is definitely a full time job) and you still exercise. Focus on what you can do and what you have done right and give yourself the credit you deserve.