just don't get it
I've been listening to these sessions and I understand what they are saying but don't understand how to do it. I cannot just forget the past. I have forgiven some people that I had real anger for but it still bothers me. I think my biggest issue may be that in order to cope with my feelings and the desire to end it all, I had to blank everything out. Now I find myself ignoring everything so it doesn't piss me off. I also haven't figured out how to enhance my social abilities. I don't remember stuff to discuss and become increadably nervous around people, even those I know. I'm not sure this program is for me but I will try it for a while longer.
-
Guest
My friend I know a lot about hurts from the past. Probably tried everything from buring my feelings, numbing them with alcohol, relationships and anything else that was bad for my body and spirit. I started seeing a therapist (2nd one) last November. She helped me realized that it wasn't other people causing my stess and anxiety -- it was me. It was how I reacted to others behaviors and opinions about me. Changing the way we think takes time. Ask God to help you know the truth -- that He loves you and wants you and me to get better.
I am getting better, but I still have my bad days where I fall back into the habit of negative thinking. My negative thinking produces bad behavior patterns. Have patience and don't give up.
I believe this program will get me through -- if I have faith -- and apply the life skills that are outlined in the program.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. NKJV
I am getting better, but I still have my bad days where I fall back into the habit of negative thinking. My negative thinking produces bad behavior patterns. Have patience and don't give up.
I believe this program will get me through -- if I have faith -- and apply the life skills that are outlined in the program.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. NKJV
-
Guest
Hi Had enough,
Hope for all, is giving you good advice. As hard as it may seem to you, the bottom line is you are empowering others to dictate you actions or reactions. Life is full disappointments, discouragements and just plain evil people. If you are not familiar with the bible you might want to start there. It is our life's handbook.
I joined this forum about 14 months ago, and I was suffering from depression for many years, in fact most of my life. My personal experience is that the mind can conceal root causes of depression and can and will bury these causes for many years and you sort of go along to get along.
I wrote a triumph story a few days ago, and it encompasses the approach I took, once I open the box that came a few weeks earlier. Once I knew that the answers, in my case, laid in Jesus Christ and my relationship with, I began to see my way through the maze of baggage store in the deepest recesses of my mind. The closer I drew to God, the closer He drew to me and in less than a month, I proclaimed my victory over a lifetime of discouragements that were at the source of many of the problems, but I also had to have a trustworthy partner willing to forbear with me as we peeled layer upon layer of what seemed like a 20 pound bag of onions, one onion at a time, layer, by layer. That's a lot of tears that got produced from all those onions.
I am going to share a little bible story that had me and a friend sort of puzzled. It is the story of Jacob and Esau. By treachery, ruthlessness, and deception Jacob (the name means swindler) trick, deceived, and took advantage of his older brother Esau, and basically stole the birthright and blessing that by rights should have been Esau's. From Jacob we have the 12 tribes of Israel and through Israel the promises God made to Abraham would go through. Why did God allow this?
That was our question, as my friend and I studied this story. There is something earlier in the story, that you have to keep you eye on. Esau once came in from a hunting trip, and he was famished, Jacob being the clever one, refused to give Esau anything to eat of what Jacob was cooking, (that red stuff) until he got Esau to promise Jacob, Esau's birth right. He swindled Esau at a moment of weakness. Here is another way to look at it, Jacob cherished the birthright and what it meant; Esau didn't give it any importance. Esau was short sighted, and Jacob was not only far sighted; he wanted the birthright more than his brother.
Morale, if you want something bad enough, you can have it, but you really have to want it. It is a similar story with the account of Jacob, and Laban and his daughters: Leah, and Rachel. In that account Laban is swindling Jacob. You know what they say, what goes around comes around.
Hang in there, strive, plot, work the program and learn to use the program, positive affirmations, it aint gonna happen taking a passive role; you have to want it. Lay out a plan for success and work the plan. Shelter yourself from negative people and their negative energy, and steer yourself toward positive people and flourish in the positive energy.
Read the triumph story, get as much as you can out of that, and if either of you want to know several other things that I did that worked for me; send me a private message by clicking on my user name above little David, that's the dog's name, and click on invite to private message.
"...In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world...." Jesus Christ (John 16:33)
http://www.blueletterbible.org...+have+overcome&t=KJV
This sight is excellent as a search tool for words and phrases that may help you find answers, devotionals, bible in a year study, and lots more good spiritual food to strengthen you.
Hope for all, is giving you good advice. As hard as it may seem to you, the bottom line is you are empowering others to dictate you actions or reactions. Life is full disappointments, discouragements and just plain evil people. If you are not familiar with the bible you might want to start there. It is our life's handbook.
I joined this forum about 14 months ago, and I was suffering from depression for many years, in fact most of my life. My personal experience is that the mind can conceal root causes of depression and can and will bury these causes for many years and you sort of go along to get along.
I wrote a triumph story a few days ago, and it encompasses the approach I took, once I open the box that came a few weeks earlier. Once I knew that the answers, in my case, laid in Jesus Christ and my relationship with, I began to see my way through the maze of baggage store in the deepest recesses of my mind. The closer I drew to God, the closer He drew to me and in less than a month, I proclaimed my victory over a lifetime of discouragements that were at the source of many of the problems, but I also had to have a trustworthy partner willing to forbear with me as we peeled layer upon layer of what seemed like a 20 pound bag of onions, one onion at a time, layer, by layer. That's a lot of tears that got produced from all those onions.
I am going to share a little bible story that had me and a friend sort of puzzled. It is the story of Jacob and Esau. By treachery, ruthlessness, and deception Jacob (the name means swindler) trick, deceived, and took advantage of his older brother Esau, and basically stole the birthright and blessing that by rights should have been Esau's. From Jacob we have the 12 tribes of Israel and through Israel the promises God made to Abraham would go through. Why did God allow this?
That was our question, as my friend and I studied this story. There is something earlier in the story, that you have to keep you eye on. Esau once came in from a hunting trip, and he was famished, Jacob being the clever one, refused to give Esau anything to eat of what Jacob was cooking, (that red stuff) until he got Esau to promise Jacob, Esau's birth right. He swindled Esau at a moment of weakness. Here is another way to look at it, Jacob cherished the birthright and what it meant; Esau didn't give it any importance. Esau was short sighted, and Jacob was not only far sighted; he wanted the birthright more than his brother.
Morale, if you want something bad enough, you can have it, but you really have to want it. It is a similar story with the account of Jacob, and Laban and his daughters: Leah, and Rachel. In that account Laban is swindling Jacob. You know what they say, what goes around comes around.
Hang in there, strive, plot, work the program and learn to use the program, positive affirmations, it aint gonna happen taking a passive role; you have to want it. Lay out a plan for success and work the plan. Shelter yourself from negative people and their negative energy, and steer yourself toward positive people and flourish in the positive energy.
Read the triumph story, get as much as you can out of that, and if either of you want to know several other things that I did that worked for me; send me a private message by clicking on my user name above little David, that's the dog's name, and click on invite to private message.
"...In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world...." Jesus Christ (John 16:33)
http://www.blueletterbible.org...+have+overcome&t=KJV
This sight is excellent as a search tool for words and phrases that may help you find answers, devotionals, bible in a year study, and lots more good spiritual food to strengthen you.
-
Guest
Hi hadenough,
Sorry that you're in so much pain, but good for you for still working at it. I have PTSD and discovering my own anger was often unpleasant, mainly because I didn't know how to deal with it either. What I'm still discovering are new and kinder, and more productive ways to deal with it, or the cause of it.
And a 'trick' that has helped me, is to just flat-out tell people, including strangers, that I'm nervous (cuz I totally used to hide it), not because of them, but hey, I just happen to be that way----It's been amazing to me to see how kind people were in response--and found out that a lot of them had the same fears----
Hang in there, just being in the process of the program helps!!
karen
Sorry that you're in so much pain, but good for you for still working at it. I have PTSD and discovering my own anger was often unpleasant, mainly because I didn't know how to deal with it either. What I'm still discovering are new and kinder, and more productive ways to deal with it, or the cause of it.
And a 'trick' that has helped me, is to just flat-out tell people, including strangers, that I'm nervous (cuz I totally used to hide it), not because of them, but hey, I just happen to be that way----It's been amazing to me to see how kind people were in response--and found out that a lot of them had the same fears----
Hang in there, just being in the process of the program helps!!
karen
-
Guest
Hello abstractartgirl.......It was interesting to read your post because even though I don't have your same problems, I use exactly the same technique! Over time I have learned to just be"straight up" with people from the beginning...I say things like, "I'm about to have a panic attack" or "I'm having IBS issues today" - whatever the situation is and suprisingly, most people understand or try to be helpful. I do get some strange looks occasionally, but being honest from the start somehow takes some of the fear away and keeps me from panicking completely. Another good thing about it is if you start acting weird, nobody is shocked!
-
Guest
Hi can'tdance,
I am really glad to hear you say that--and I burst out laughing at your last sentence because it's such a great bonus--feeling free to be my our kind of weird!!
It is true, though. And isn't it amazing how hard that was to learn to do--just tell people outright with no big deal, just saying what you actually feel?
...and equally amazing at how much easier it gets? I've been really pushing myself in the last two years to do that--at first, I thought it was all about trusting other people, but as I improved, I found that it was really about learning that I could trust MYSELF to deal with how they might react...And additional bonus, now I can throw some humor into the mix and they become less worried about me...and that's all to the good...
Cheers to getting strange looks and finally NOT worrying about it! The friends I've met since then have so been worth it.
And I'll bet that yours have, too!
I am really glad to hear you say that--and I burst out laughing at your last sentence because it's such a great bonus--feeling free to be my our kind of weird!!
It is true, though. And isn't it amazing how hard that was to learn to do--just tell people outright with no big deal, just saying what you actually feel?
...and equally amazing at how much easier it gets? I've been really pushing myself in the last two years to do that--at first, I thought it was all about trusting other people, but as I improved, I found that it was really about learning that I could trust MYSELF to deal with how they might react...And additional bonus, now I can throw some humor into the mix and they become less worried about me...and that's all to the good...
Cheers to getting strange looks and finally NOT worrying about it! The friends I've met since then have so been worth it.
And I'll bet that yours have, too!