But I start to see life as "consistency"
We do the same thing every day, every minute even (blink, breath) and the worsed one of all is "think"
When I think about "thinking" consistantly my minds in big trouble
Well I can't stand being consistent, it's torture, so I avoid it.
So when I have this perspective about life, I can't avoid it, because "living" is what we are doing.
The only way I would be able to "escape" is to knock myself out.
Another way to explain this type of perspective is like I feel like I can't "rejuvinate" Like I'm stuck in the same sad perspective every minute of every hour.
And when you only have one perspective of "life"
and your "environment" (and any of the other environments during that time) You start seeing the world as wearing out.
Getting old, cause it's just sitting there rotting away.
Who wants to live in a world like that?
I have had that exact perspective about 4 times in my life.
I think the longest I went through it was about a month!
I still dont know how I survived through that.
So here I was the couple of days ago, feeling that way again. I thought to myself "oh no you don't, no way am I going to feel like this"
And I eventualy thought (not fought
) myself out of it!Within the next hour I was back in sync with life.
The "future" looked "new" again.
I mean can you imgaine living just a day in life where the future didn't feel like it would be new?
Like an hour from now would feel the same as the present time?I live for change.
Now because of my trauma from this torturing perspective (I call it mind stuck) I can no longer stay in the same place for a long period of time.
I have to keep moving around to refresh my surroundings.
So it really sucks like at work when I get stuck like ringing customers up for hours.
I'm trying to find a way to control your perspective.
For example after a month or two with a new job I start getting sick of it. So every day after that gets worse and worse on my tolleration level.
It would be so wonderful if I could get the same perspective I had the first day I went to work.
I wish I could look at the place the same as I did.
I'm sure it's possible to dupilcate your perspectives, possibly through meditation. Or if your ever feeling down, you can think back to a time you were really happy, and duplicate that perspective and have a taste of it again
Any thoughts?