relaxing makes me anxious

Deener · Post by **Deener** » Thu Mar 19, 2009 12:51 pm

When I use the breathing technique to calm myself, it seems to make my anxiety worse. Can anyone relate or give advice

Healing In Process · Post by **Healing In Process** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:10 am

You might try Bob Griswold's tape Total Relaxation/How to manage Stress Easily. I use this tape, as well as the relaxation tape that came with the program. Some times you need to find a technique that works for you, not all the people get along with the Stress Center's relaxation tape. His web is www.efflearn.com

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:28 pm

I had this same problem at first. I felt extreme panic when trying to relax and breathe. I had to exercise or do something physical to relax my body. After i felt less anxious or not anxious at all I would practicing my breathing. I would lay verystill if I could and count backwards from 1000.I can actually relax now.

Lichen · Post by **Lichen** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:51 am

Yes, I understand completely! The more I know I need to relax, the more anxious I become. I start thinking what's wrong? How? What? Why? I have really had to force myself to take a deep breath, let my shoulders relax, and stop frowning... It really sounds simple, but it does work. At least for me anyway. Hang in there. Nobody said it was easy, but you can do it. Maybe not tomorrow but soon...
Good luck,
Vicky :p

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 26, 2009 7:10 am

Thank you all for your advice. Knowing that I'm not the only one who has trouble relaxing, makes me relax! I do notice it more when I'm working on my limitations or challenging myself. I know I need to start using my six steps to calm myself, but I can never seem to do it with my breathing. I struggle through that part and it just feels wrong. When I lay down and do the relaxation tape, I can ease myself with the breathing then. Thanks again for the comfort, and the idea of counting backwards and a new realaxation tape, I had not considered those things.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 27, 2009 6:31 am

Just a suggestion, Deener. Try to focus on your breathing more than on 'trying' to relax. Focus on the actual exercise rather than the outcome. It helps me. If your mind wanders, let the thoughts dissipate with every breath you exhale. Use imagery. Try picturing exhaling a dark cloud of smoke as if your thoughts being released into the atmosphere never to be seen of again. Maybe try focusing on the person you're listening to. Listen closely to their voice, the spacing between the words. Absorb the messages completely, with your whole self, 1st your mind, then your body. These are methods of distraction to relax you. I learned this through yoga. I used to hold my body in a certain pose for several minutes so it would become painful, but the instructor told us to stay in tune with the breathing not the pain. It takes practice, but we can all do it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 29, 2009 12:21 pm

Hi i have this problem too before, i think since relaxation is a new feeling, we are not used to it and it scares us.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 4:44 am

Hello guys,

I went through the program nearly 2 years ago and I remember having that feeling...
I think I can explain, atleast why I had it (I dont have it anymore... I am actually going thru the program again but now the relaxation tape works beautifully).

ok my explanation goes like this...

Relaxation is a very very very unfamiliar feeling for anxiety sufferers like us (hence the tension & anxiety and the requirement for the tape). First of all you may feel that warm tingly feeling or a slight bit of dizziness as the blood flows freely around your head. Now it isnt those feelings that cause anxiety, it is our worrysome thoughts about those feelings. "Is this right? am I having a panic attack? am I gonna be sick?" etc. I remember lying there and TRYING to relax because I wanted to be well NOW. I actually remember pushing my breathe out as hard as I could... just SO keen to get better. I also used to lie there and worry about whether I was doing it right... and those thoughts would in turn cause anxiety.

My advice I would offer is to reassure yourself before starting the tape that its normal to feel different during the relaxation process and that different feeling is what will rid of us panic attacks in crappy situations.
The next is to stop TRYING to relax and THINKING about how much you want to relax. This is easier than it sounds but I find the best way is to make myself aware of my whole inner body and every limb... take your awareness to your chest rather than your head. Don't 'tell' your limbs to relax like some tapes suggest. Don't use the voice in your head to do things... just do them and try to listen to the silence between Lucinda's sentences. Again don't say to yourself 'listen to the silence' or 'feel the body'... When you realise how quiet the world is without your chatterbox brain you will know you are doing it right!

Hope this helps somebody somewhere

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 11:51 am

Hi Deener,

I also have something to add. Just a thought. When I am anxious, I can tend to do the breathing technique counting (one one thousand, two one thousand) really fast. Try slowing your counting down. Also, breathe out first (it helps me to sigh (like you're frustrated with something) deeply) and then start the counting in and out. This really helps me. In fact, since using this breathing technique, I have not had a full blown panic attack in at least a year! And it has helped de-escalate the near-panic moments I have had. It's a wonderful trick that really does work! God bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:57 pm

I'm glad I stumbled across this post I'v been trying to do the relaxing method and it just seems like Ii can't stop my mind from bouncing around from one thought to another while I do it. Reading DaveChamb's post makes alot of sence to me and I'll try your advice.