Panic, Anxiety, OCD, Lyme or all mixed in?

cigi · Post by **cigi** » Tue Oct 12, 2004 6:09 pm

I've been plagued with anxiety my whole life. I know I've always been the obsessive type (focusing and not stop thinking about the same thing whether it be health related (dying.) I fit the personality for anxiety to a tee. Last year I was diagnosed with lyme disease and have been on antibiotics for over a year. In February and March, many stressful things happened (my 9 year old also had lyme and that's the first time I ever felt that his health was in jeopardy, I felt something touch my psyche) that put me in this "Unreality" mode, which I now live in. I had the antibiotics introvenious for 7 weeks and thought I had a breakdown. My thinking was so messed up, concept of time, irrational... I can't begin to explain. I was told that lyme disease can exaserbate the OCD symptoms, as put on anti-depressants and when I need klonopin, I am to take it. I feel the furthest from my personality. I think the pills just made me accept this state, not correct it. I miss my life and long for my conviction and who I am back. I don't want this to be the new me. I have no definition, no fight, practically no name. I was never like that. I'm on zoloft 125 mg, risperdol 1 mg. Any advice for someone lost on many pills (the lyme messed up my heart rhythm, so I'm on heart medication too), looking for herself after hearing doctors diagnosis? According to a lyme specialist, I still have an active infection. My therapist say panic disorder and another lyme doctor says this is the risidual of the lyme. This is not me. I'm full of life, spur of moment, vitality...I don't know what or who this is.

If anyone has an in up there, please say a prayer for someone who has her heart and her head not connected.

Thanks,
Cigi

Thanks,
cigi

Jimp · Post by **Jimp** » Wed Oct 13, 2004 4:38 am

Originally posted by cigi:
[qb]I've been plagued with anxiety my whole life. I know I've always been the obsessive type (focusing and not stop thinking about the same thing whether it be health related (dying.) I fit the personality for anxiety to a tee. Last year I was diagnosed with lyme disease and have been on antibiotics for over a year. In February and March, many stressful things happened (my 9 year old also had lyme and that's the first time I ever felt that his health was in jeopardy, I felt something touch my psyche) that put me in this "Unreality" mode, which I now live in. I had the antibiotics introvenious for 7 weeks and thought I had a breakdown. My thinking was so messed up, concept of time, irrational... I can't begin to explain. I was told that lyme disease can exaserbate the OCD symptoms, as put on anti-depressants and when I need klonopin, I am to take it. I feel the furthest from my personality. I think the pills just made me accept this state, not correct it. I miss my life and long for my conviction and who I am back. I don't want this to be the new me. I have no definition, no fight, practically no name. I was never like that. I'm on zoloft 125 mg, risperdol 1 mg. Any advice for someone lost on many pills (the lyme messed up my heart rhythm, so I'm on heart medication too), looking for herself after hearing doctors diagnosis? According to a lyme specialist, I still have an active infection. My therapist say panic disorder and another lyme doctor says this is the risidual of the lyme. This is not me. I'm full of life, spur of moment, vitality...I don't know what or who this is.

If anyone has an in up there, please say a prayer for someone who has her heart and her head not connected.

Thanks,
Cigi

Thanks,
cigi[/qb]

Hello,

First off I would calm down a little. What is happening may not actually be as bad as you propose.

How do you know that you have Lymes disease? Were you tested?
Were you bitten by a "tic"? And if so was the tic tested for lymes?
The only tic that can give you lymes is a "deer tic".

The reason I ask all of this is that I have a sister-in-law who insists that she has lymes and all her kids. She cannot really even recall how she got it accept when she was small she thought she was bitten by one. So she goes to a quack doctor who says she has lymes and it couldn't be further from the truth.

Another thing is to check your dose of Zoloft. It may be to HIGH giving you adverse affects. My son went through this and he was overmedicated.

cigi · Post by **cigi** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 8:16 am

Thanks for the advice. I have positive lyme tests and symptoms, but who know if this is what I'm left with. I'll take the physical pain, but the emotional/mental stuff I can't bear. I long for my personality back. Did the zoloft do that to your son? In what way did you know his dose was too high?

Thanks,
Cigi

sunset34 · Post by **sunset34** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 8:56 am

Cigi,

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggle. I believe we all get stuck somewhere at some point in life with something.

Please look at this experience as a temporary thing. Your physical and mental struggle will not last forever and you MUST give yourself permission to go through whatever you must go through and be patient with yourself and the disease.

I understand you may feel frustrated and even angry because how you feel now isn't a reflection of who you have been in the past BUT...BUT...BUT...remember YOU ARE the SAME person on the inside ONLY you are going through a personal struggle. It's OK to struggle in life. Struggle is part of living at times and we must ACCEPT it and FLOAT it out. We don't need to focus on the past and what we don't have and we don't have to focus on an imagined future... Instead, we CAN focus on the "here and now" and give ourselves permission to have our struggle and to learn from it.

There is not one person in this world that does not struggle with something. So PLEASE refrain from imagining that everyone else is fine but you.

Just give yourself some room to recover and expect that challenges only make us stronger in the end. Make something positive out of your life experience and do the very best to educate yourself. The more you know, the faster you will grow.

I agree that mental imbalance is harder than physical imbalance; however, you must encourage yourself, educate yourself and take responsibility for your own recovery. If you do not want to be on pills, perhaps it would help to look into alternatives to your recovery and treament.

I wish you the best in finding what works for you.

Be patient with yourself and your healing. Being negative can only impair things for you, so be good to yourself always.

God bless.

cigi · Post by **cigi** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 10:22 am

Thanks for the encouraging words. Maybe the meds take time to work and it will all work out in the end - but it's the in between that makes things unbearable. I'll try to remember this is temporary. I have a great family, friends and have never felt so alone.

Thanks -
Cigi

Jimp · Post by **Jimp** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 2:46 pm

Originally posted by cigi:
[qb]Thanks for the advice. I have positive lyme tests and symptoms, but who know if this is what I'm left with. I'll take the physical pain, but the emotional/mental stuff I can't bear. I long for my personality back. Did the zoloft do that to your son? In what way did you know his dose was too high?

Thanks,
Cigi[/qb]

Cigi,

What I would encourage you to do is to be retested for Lymes. You may not have it. Were you tested by a qualified doctor?

Have it rechecked by someone else.

Secondly,as to my son, I had problems with my son all summer long with increased periods of depression and anxiety and stress at which he never seemed to have before he started the meds.
I know...The first thought that one has when they see increased symtoms is to think thet you need more meds..BUT..I began to wonder if maybe he was getting to much.
Then I began to study.
I then discovered that IF ONE GETS TO MUCH of a antidepressent it can actually CREATE WORSE symptoms than what you had to begin with !
WHAT A DISCOVERY !

I then began to lower him slowly, (which is what you should do) over a few weeks) and see if the symptoms begin letting up. IF they seem to be LESS in intensity (as was my sons) then you are getting TOO MUCH medicine!

I lowered his from 100Mg. to 75 MG. and saw a lessening of intensity in depression. I kept it at 75 for about 3 weeks. THEN I lowered it to 50Mg. and BAMO!....He improved IMMENSELY.
When I explained this to the doctor he praised me for good observation and said that I might have him at an "optimal level". He then drew a graph and said that if one goes OVER the optimal level they could begin to have OPPOSITE affects! ( I wish he would have told me this earlier}

So , it MAY BE worth a try on your part.
And why not get by with LESS if possible?

Jimp · Post by **Jimp** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 2:58 pm

Cigi,

One other thing. I noticed that you have OCD? So does my son.
I am not sure if Zoloft is the best medicine for OCD. The best med for OCD is ANAFRANIL. It is a trycyclic with a very good track record going bck to the 60's. It was used in Europe before being introduced in the USA.
My son has done very well with it when he is on the proper dose.

It can be given in 25Mg. dose and adjusted accordingly.
I guess there is one called Luvox that can also work well.

cigi · Post by **cigi** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:27 am

Thanks for telling me about the zoloft. I tried anafranil, but I am on beta blockers, due to v-tac -something I got after the lyme and the anafranil can cause heart irregularities. That was from my doctor - not me. I was on anafranil for a little while, but they didn't want to raise me due to my heart stuff. I hope things are better with your son. It's a frustrating thing when you know the person that they are and can't get to it due to some imbalance.

Jimp · Post by **Jimp** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 2:23 pm

Originally posted by cigi:
[qb]Thanks for telling me about the zoloft. I tried anafranil, but I am on beta blockers, due to v-tac -something I got after the lyme and the anafranil can cause heart irregularities. That was from my doctor - not me. I was on anafranil for a little while, but they didn't want to raise me due to my heart stuff. I hope things are better with your son. It's a frustrating thing when you know the person that they are and can't get to it due to some imbalance.[/qb]

Cigi, Please have your lymes rechecked by a doctor other than a lymes doctor. Go through a hospital lab for blood tests.
Some lymes doctors think that lymes never really leaves the body. This is bogus. That is what my sister-in -law ran in to. Lymes should only take about 6 weeks of oral treatment with doxycycline, if I'm not mistaken. I was bitten by a tic not only once but many many times. The doctor I went to said that only a deer tic can give lymes and the tic should be tested.
Some of your heart irregularities may only be the Zoloft, or Anfranil.
AND, even if it is lymes there would be no long term damage to the heart muscle !

One thing I have learned with doctors. DO NOT always take them for their word. You need to research and take control. If you cannot then ask someone (friend) to research and do it for you.

Take control of your health. Doctors do not always know everything, as good as they might seem. My dad nearly died after heart surgery when he contracted staff infection and no-one knew because the hospital NEVER TESTED HIM !

BTW, the biggest thing that bugs me personally about his OCD is its unpredictability. Changing symptoms. It always keeps me guessing.

Take good care of yopurself, Cigi, as I will be praying for you. If you can, find a Church near you or a friend, or Pastor and speak with them. My son was on the phone yesterday when his Pastor callled to see how he was doing. He was on the phone a long time and it clearly helped him.

God bless you Cigi, take care.

amethyst98. · Post by **amethyst98.** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 10:20 pm

I think Jimp brought up a good point. If you weren't diagnosed with Lyme disease by a standard medical doctor then you really ought to go to a standard physician for true diagnosis.

Here is some information on Lyme disease: <A HREF="http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRel ... /lyme.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRel ... me.html</A>

The website is not some random website. It is recommended by universities and by the Food and Nutrition Information Center (The Food and Nutrition Information Center is part of the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Agricultural Research Service (ARS) and is partners with the University of Maryland's Department of Nutrition and Food Science and Howard University's Department of Nutritional Sciences.
<A HREF="http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/etext/000031.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/etext/000031.html</A>)