Anyone feel overwhelmed?

[sunset23]

Hello everyone,

it's been a long time since I have posted. This sited has been very helpful. I am feeling really stressed; sometimes I feel that my thought and opinions don't count. That I am expected to stay slient and don't utter a word. I made plans with my significant other weeks in advance and he went and made other plans on the same date without consulting me.

I remember when I first completed the program I was so free; I lived in the precious present moment only positive thoughts. I didn't do anything unless it made be happy; life was good. Then I started having negative thoughts started to feel alone. I got married. There are days when I look back at that time and think where did I go wrong; when did I stop doing the things I enjoy. My support system is limited; but I know I can make it on my own. How do I walk away; where do I find the strength.

I feel like to this person I am second on the list; he doesn't need to impress me, or make me happy. I told him today that I am unhappy and have been for a while. Where do I go from here. Something has got to change; for I am so stressed it's unreal. My significant other and I give each other the silent treatment; he can go weeks without speaking to me it's like he doesn't care or thats how he copes. I am through my next step is to plan our separation.

Thanks for helping me to vent.

[chill1981]

I feel for you sunset. I was in relationships in the past where I was unhappy and it dragged on for 3 years. I made a lot of mistakes, but I was realizing that my life was going somewhere else. It's awful to feel second to someone. It seems so hard to find good guys these days. I am just about to start week 4 of the program and I don't feel overly happy or positive. I'm supposed to be replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, but a part of me just wants to be negative.. it's like it's a comfortable feeling for me.. I am used to feeling this way.. not the other way. I feel like the program is useful, but now that I know all these things about myself, I am so unsure where to go from here you know? You can't just go from negative to positive just because you know you're negative! I lost my excitement and hope for life a long time ago, and this recent situation has just added to that feeling... it's like things can only go good for so long with me.. there's always going to be something bad that happens it seems.. I am trying to go on this website more often.. I'm in the chatroom to sometimes. I hope you can figure out what to do. The silent treatment for long periods of time must be awful. You probably don't feel like you're even together anymore.. just kind of like roommates? That's how I felt before..

[Thessa]

I feel the same..I have been with my bf for 11-12 years, somewhere in that range, when I bring up things that bother me with the relationship, he never wants to talk about it. I am so alone a lot of times although he is in the same house.. and when I am alone, negative thoughts stir and I make myself anxious. The anxious feeling goes on for hours and won't subdside until the evening..this past Saturday we hung out, went for walk with the dog and went to Home Depot I had this nervous anxious feeling all day, it's horrible. I've told him I'm not happy and to move out, but he never takes me serious. He ignores our short arguments and doesn't talk to me for hours most days and then will come and ask me what I want for dinner or he'll ask me something else, I then seem to drop everything that happened because I avoid the confrontation and don't feel like repeating the same thing. He also doesn't work full time and I am paying for mostly everything. It really makes me dislike him..and this has been going on for years. He'll get a full time job and then it doesn't work out. I feel the same about being negative all the time, it's really hard to replace the negative with the positive..I am struggling with that.
I wish you the best Sunset, I certainly know how you feel...and you don't deserve that. I think there is someone out there who will give you the respect you deserve, we all do as human beings.
Chill1981, it's so bizarre that some of the things you write is like taking words right out of my mouth...sometimes it's hard for me to express it..Wish you only the best too.