I met my now husband back when we were both 16 and we have been together ever since. We were each others "first". Our parents found out we were having sex. That of coarse did not go over well. We were banned from seeing each other except at church. We stuck threw it, parents eventually got over it. We got engaged when I was 17. Mom didn't fully approve. Dad didn't say anything. When I turned 18 we moved in together. Six months later we moved to South Dakota were he used to live. I got pregnant 5 months after that. We got married 4 month after we found out. Then I had my beautiful Evanna. That's when It hit me hard with the depression. I was so far away from my family. I had no one to tell me how to raise a baby. I was so alone. I eventually got it under control to an extent. I had gained 100lbs and was not a very happy person. I have had 3 more children since then and after my last and final baby I thought I was doing really good. I had lost 65lbs, I was getting noticed by people, I was getting my self-esteem back and I had confidence again. That's when It all started to go down hill. I was falling into the devils traps. I decided to get a job at a bar. NOT a good idea for a married woman with self-esteem problems. I started ignoring my husband, the bar was more important than my family and there feelings. I didn't care about anyone anymore, I didn't care how I hurt them, how I lied to them to get what I wanted. I ended up having an affair for about a month. My Poor husband found out. I Hurt him so badly. He fortunately loves me enough that we are going to work this out. THANK YOU GOD! But I got hit so hard with the depression and anxiety that I could not get out of bed, eat, or even take a shower. I didn't care about me anymore. I started to then over eat. Thinking that if I was fat again then guys wouldn't look at me in that way again and then my husband wouldn't worry or wonder. I was devastated on what I had done to the family, I almost lost everything. It was a huge slap in the face. I am still battling with the depression and anxiety. I thought turning to alcohol and smoking would make it better. but I know it wont. It's only a temporary fix. I need a permanent fix. It's only been 5 months since the incident. So it's still an open wound. I know I am going to have to keep mending this for the rest of my life. I just want to feel normal. I want to feel happiness.
Yes YOU can get threw it!! and I will be more than happy to help in anyway I can