depressed
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Anna Burrell
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:55 pm
I have been with my fiance` for the past four years and this october we are getting married. I love him so much and I am excited, but sometimes I get to feeling depressed and am wondering what if I meet someone else? Am I trapping myself? am I going to end up hurting him? and it kills me. About a year ago I moved out to my own apartment and we kind of took a break (because I was having these feelings) and for a while it was nice, but after some time I realized I truly from the bottom of my heart know I want to be with him, so I moved back in. I am happy, really happy but every once in a while these feelings torment me. Can anyone relate?? Do you have any advice I could really use some.
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Guest
Anna I think everyone goes thru moments of doubt and uncertainity when they are making such life decisions. It sounds like you really love your fiance and its just what-if thinking that's creating such doubts.
Would it help to make a list of all the reasons why you love your fiance, and pull it out when you have your moments of doubt.
I think its natural to feel depressed when we are being down on ourselves and spinning our wheels in negative thinking.
Just try to live in the present moment and enjoy each other. There is so much stress that goes into planning a wedding and a life together.
Congrats on your engagement. Go out and enjoy the Valentine's week-end.
Take care and God Bless.
Would it help to make a list of all the reasons why you love your fiance, and pull it out when you have your moments of doubt.
I think its natural to feel depressed when we are being down on ourselves and spinning our wheels in negative thinking.
Just try to live in the present moment and enjoy each other. There is so much stress that goes into planning a wedding and a life together.
Congrats on your engagement. Go out and enjoy the Valentine's week-end.
Take care and God Bless.
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Guest
Thank you so much for responding. I think its stress knowing that it's not just us as a couple anymore is us as a married couple.
He is everything I have looked for in a man and he treats me well, we have the same family values and goals in life.
deep down I know I want to marry him but my what if thinking gets the best of me. I am just starting to freak out I guess because it is a lot to think about and handle, but we have been together for a long time so I don't feel like we are rushing or anything of that sort.
I have been distant toward him lately because of these feelings and some part of me thinks "call it off before you end up hurting him by meeting someone else" and it kills me
He is everything I have looked for in a man and he treats me well, we have the same family values and goals in life.
deep down I know I want to marry him but my what if thinking gets the best of me. I am just starting to freak out I guess because it is a lot to think about and handle, but we have been together for a long time so I don't feel like we are rushing or anything of that sort.
I have been distant toward him lately because of these feelings and some part of me thinks "call it off before you end up hurting him by meeting someone else" and it kills me
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Guest
Hey Anna, howdy from a fellow coloradan (transplanted).
To me I think you have something called cold feet. Gee, what a idea huh? bet nobody thought of that! It happens, I bet to almost everyone, when it comes to marriage. I hyave been married 20 years and can tell you it really didnt hit me until the actual wedding. When I say the actual wedding I mean it. I was about to walk down the aisle when it hit me. Scared the living crap out of me. I almost walked out. I think its time for you to just realize how good you have it, how lucky you are and enjoy the ride. Now I'm not going to say that you will never meet someone else. You know why? Because if you dont meet someone else how will you meet new friends? I know, I know that isnt what you meant. I just think that you have to kick back relax and think about what you have not what MAY becoming. You know you love your man. Go with that and enjoy it! A great love is something you can ruin if you think too much about it. Have a great time with your life and quit thinking about what may happen. There will be challenges, there will be bumps but guess what? Those are some of the things that can make love, life and marriage great!!!
"Dont sweat the small stuff."
To me I think you have something called cold feet. Gee, what a idea huh? bet nobody thought of that! It happens, I bet to almost everyone, when it comes to marriage. I hyave been married 20 years and can tell you it really didnt hit me until the actual wedding. When I say the actual wedding I mean it. I was about to walk down the aisle when it hit me. Scared the living crap out of me. I almost walked out. I think its time for you to just realize how good you have it, how lucky you are and enjoy the ride. Now I'm not going to say that you will never meet someone else. You know why? Because if you dont meet someone else how will you meet new friends? I know, I know that isnt what you meant. I just think that you have to kick back relax and think about what you have not what MAY becoming. You know you love your man. Go with that and enjoy it! A great love is something you can ruin if you think too much about it. Have a great time with your life and quit thinking about what may happen. There will be challenges, there will be bumps but guess what? Those are some of the things that can make love, life and marriage great!!!
"Dont sweat the small stuff."
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Guest
you are absolutely right! I guess out of all the things that scare me the most is that sometimes I feel distant from him because I don't want to kiss him or have him touch me, but it always passes and I love to be around him. I have talked about this before on here and there have been others who feel the same way sometimes toward their husbands or boyfriends, and I have to remember a relationship isn't going to be perfect.