New to the Program

[ahandschke]

I am new to the program 2 1/2 weeks. I am 41 and have a long history of panic attacks and chronic worry. The majority of my worries have involved my health. There have been several bouts of depression and anxiety related to worries about terminal illnesses from my head to my toes, literally. One involved a bruise on my toe which I thought for sure was a melanoma. After a long period of waiting for biopsy result, I finally got the diagnosis of having a bruise under my toenail. So much release of adrenoline and dread over a bruise! I have the typical childhood that generates fear and anxiety. Everything in the CDs so for speaks to me from common childhood family issues to negative self talk to how my worries about physical symptoms become catastrophic as one thought builds on another as Dr Fisher described. Yesterday,I broke out in tears in front of my husband because I was feeling those overwhelming thoughts about my health(which is my stomach at the moment and has been for the last 4 months). Last night I did my relaxation CD before I went to bed to put my mind at easy and hopefully avoid scary dreams and waking with panic and that sinking feeling in the morning. This morning I woke without anxiety and negative thoughts and did not wake from anxiety at 4 am for the first time in a while. Today, I started thinking about changing my negative self-talk. I told myself that my symptoms are not symptoms a person with a deadly illness would have and that in a lot of ways I feel healthy. Today I have told myself several times that I do deserve health and happiness in my life. I have worked hard to get to where I am and I deserve to live without panic and fear. I do feel a little anxiety at the moment but am telling myself it is ok. Today, has mostly been a good day.

[Clarysage]

so good to hear you doing better already. I have been doing this five weeks now and feel so much better. It is definitely helping me. For the first two weeks of August I was waking up at 4:00am crying and worrying so bad I became physically ill. Monday mornings especially seem the worst -(going to work).

[ahandschke]

Thank you for the feedback! How long did it take you to feel better?

[Clarysage]

Well, I knew the cd's were helping me right away. I sensed a great deal of hope right at the beginning. Then after three weeks I could really see that this is working. It is definitely work though. I carry the card with me and even wrote up my own index cards to reference during my work day to calm myself. I use positive affirmations and books and meditation cd's etc., etc.,...I have been working hard at this. I do go to a therapist once a week too.

[ahandschke]

Sorry, you said five weeks:)

[ahandschke]

Thank you so much! I can't tell you how good it is to hear about you doing so well. It gives me lots of hope! I am working the program very closely. I did just have some anxiety here at the end of the day but by using the tools I do fell better.