It has been a few years since I was here. Some that I knew may be here, but I would guess that there are many new people. Sorry you are suffering from panic, anxiety and/or depression. On the high note, so glad that you found this site and the program, there is HOPE and you can be victorious over this!
I bought the program in the fall 2005 with doubts. Oh how we can be skeptical and negative! I have gone through personal health issues, personal trials, stresses, lots of highs and lots of lows. But I did the program, did the work I was asked to, stuck it out and here I am over 5 years later a completely different person. I am thankful and grateful to be living life.
Do I have anxiety? Sure at appropriate times, for appropriate reasons such as before I speak to a client, having anxiety to a low degree. When I look back and examine why, it is mostly because I am worried....worried if they will like me, like my work, my price, etc. The reality is, is that I know I cannot please everyone, nor do I live my life to please everyone trying to be everything to all and/or trying to be everything to be a success; success that someone or society sets the bar for and dictates what that success looks like and that I need to live up to. That is someone else's standards, not mine!. We all are different; different talents, capabilities, wants and we each need to appreciate our own uniqueness and the uniqueness of others.
Trust me, anxiety is normal, to feel nervous is normal. Anxiety though can spiral as we all know. It starts with some thought, then we think about that thought, which brings us to feel a certain way, which brings us to acting a certain way. Example....I think I will faint inside the store, so I am afraid to go to the store and even afraid that I may faint, which then I act, just sitting in fear at home because I may faint driving, or faint in the parking lot so who will help me, what will I do, etc, etc, etc!!! This voice and the stinking thoughts can consume and paralyzed us in life if we allow it. But we do not have to allow it! This is not the end all. We DO have the ability to change our overall thinking and approach to issues. Do not doom and gloom yourself into a corner! Irrational thoughts are just that, IRRATIONAL! It does not mean we are crazy. For some reason, the body is set on high alert on the fight or flight system. Mine was due too many changes; packing, house hunting, moving, serious health scare, lost a job, looking for a new job and several other life issues. It was too much in a very short period of time. I was constantly in a state of high reactive mode to the pot shots life dealt so my body just adapted to "fast forward" mode and kept going faster and faster to keep up with all the stressors until it just literally puked
to get the break it needed. No one taught me how to handle stress. Let's face it, there are no "How to Handle the Stresses in Life 101" class at the high school or local college! Sometimes we need to evaluate who we allow in our life. After I was strong enough, I eliminated toxic people that constantly cause drama in my life. I am not talking about a friend that is going through a rough season. I am talking about those manipulative, jealous, scheming, gossipy people, the type that is passive-aggressive, the users that are only there when they needed you but when you needed them they are too busy, those that look to stir the pot and go out of their way to cause trouble. Surround yourself with people that genuinely care about you, that are honest, that treat you with respect, that love you, that you enjoy spending time with. This is the kind of friend I want to be to others. To me, I do not expect this back from them, just hope they would be a good friend back. I have learned to expect less of others and my disappointment and hurt are minimal. I can't control others, but I can control how I think and react. I will never find happiness and contentment in people or things. I am responsible for my happiness and contentment which is within me.
I do not worry about my future as it will be what it will be. I cannot control some things in life and instead of fearing that, I embrace it. I refuse to spend the present moment worrying about what may happen because I am wasting "now" time worrying in a corner instead of living my now. I do not live each moment, I will miss out on a precious memories with my husband, a friend, my child....a moment that will never return. On the flip side, does anyone ever worry about winning the lottery, finding $100 in a parking lot or receiving a beautiful gift from our loved one? No? Why do we focus on the negative, scary stuff? Why dream about stuff that may never and probably will never happen, like winning 350 million from the lottery? Why not just live in the beautiful, sweet, present moment and enjoy all life has offered us?!!! We are alive, breathing and are loved by someone, even our pets! We have so much around us that is beautiful...blue skies, green grass, fresh air, friends, good family, loving pets, activities we enjoy, humor, beautiful music, and so much more. You fill in the blank with the things you enjoy, people you love, places that are fun. So much to experience! Do not allow fear to have you miss out on it.
I found the peace I always had under layers of fear, doubt and negative self talk. That peace has grown over the years due to seeking something out of and beyond myself. I can remember having glimmers of peace peaking through all that buried fear, doubt, negative talk. When I started to clear out the irrational stuff, the glimmers of peace grew to be longer and became more and more present throughout my day. Now, I am content, comfortable, happy, excited about life. I look forward to living, to experiencing life and all it has to offer. Experiences make us who we are and those include ALL experiences; the good and the not so good. We learn to handle stressful situations, we positively adapt, we conquer our fears and we are victorious regardless of winning or losing because we chose to face our situations (fears included) and live life! Life is not about winning or losing, it is about living, playing the game and and not sidelining ourselves.
So what are you going to do? Sit and be a bench warmer on the sidelines wishing to play or pick that bat up and swing? Experience every opportunity! We all have our own gifts and talents to offer. Live for you and not for others or their standards and expectations. Get out and start with what you are best at, grow your confidence and move upward! It is baby steps, but keep going! It does get easier. It can even get to the point where you live life and enjoy each and every moment without much thought or effort, just enjoying the now. Fear will dissipate like the fog at sunrise and peace with clarity will fill you like the sunshine of day! It can become that involuntary.
Best wishes in your journey to peace and contentment!
LizB
