Was I too late asking for help?

[kellygirl51]

About 3 weeks ago before I started this program I was working on a remote island in northern Manitoba, Canada as a Public Health nurse. This was my dream job and gave me so much satisfaction. I would be up there for 3 weeks a month and home with my husband for 1 week for the past 2 years.I began sufering from extreme insomnia which not only made me unsafe to work but increased my anxiety immensely. All I could feel was guilt when I had to take a day off ill and felt like I was letting the whole community down..I know I have issues with guilt and can talk myself into feeling guilt over the war in Afghanistan if I really let myself go...Anyway I just received an email from the health directorate where I work telling me I am suspended without pay until further notice due to my absences. I'm so crushed and wish I could explain myself. I wish good intentions counted for something but relistically I know the bottom line is that recently I have missed a lot of work. Before I left the north last time I got on my knees and prayed for help. Maybe this is for the best but I know how hard it will be to get another nursing position near the rural town I live in due to my absences. I don't know how to defend myself. I pray it works out like it is supposed to but I'm afraid this will be the end of any self esteem I have left.

[midnight2870]

It sounds to me that you have a lot of spunk. Being away from family and friends can be hard on any of us. We are a social being. I have just started on the program and I noted a lot of people saying how much they were helped and they went on and on. So I am a little discouraged ,but I am going to listen to session three shortly. I have had anxiety since I was five and I am 63 now . So don't give up as I am not going to. Actually I have an appointment March 23 in Amherst N.S. with mental health. No one would ever believe I have anxiety as I hide it so well, but I am getting tired of never feeling calm and confident. It is never too late to do anything,let alone ask for help. I hear there are walk in resources now ,where you don't need a doctors referral. So get off the butt and do some thing. All the best and good luck. P.s. Keep me informed . midnight2870