Death (no bad meaning here)

[Wildcard]

So here I am in my 40's I have been depressed most of my life and I think I now know why. I am afraid of death I'm afraid of the pain the hurt the suffering. I know we are going to die I just am afraid of it. How do I deal with it? How can I stop myself from worrying about death? I think once I can stop the silliness of worrying then I will be able to put most things into place and start to enjoy life as I should. The more I type this I may even know about when I started to worry. 10th Grade. My dog and my favorite Grandpa both past away that year. Both were firsts for me. I never had been to a funeral and this was my first pet. That was the year that I realized nothing last forever. So, in the 20+ years since then I have been putting all this worry and stress about death in my mind. I watched my grandpa die a painful, slow death from cancer. I watched my dog die a slow and (probably) painful death because the Vet was an idiot. The poor dog wouldnt stop vomiting and the vet said he swolled a bird then a month or two later figured out that his insides were rotting away! Death happens and will continue to happen. How do I get over the fear? How do I just live my life because thats why I'm here? I have a great family and great friends. So how do I get over the fear?

Any ideas?

[tina martin]

It is my (perhaps naive) belief that the fear of our own death is one root of other overt problems. In my mind this includes depression, anxiety, escapism, phobias, etc. Psychiatrists write about it too. And the acceptance of death is much more difficult today because of so many advances, longer life spans, so much research. Therefore we are easily misled. No matter what, we cannot triumph over death except, in my view, to live well. I am old and I see death peeking into my windows. I am not afraid. It is how life ends. When the time comes I will go with a smile.

Here is a quote from Camus, "There is but one liberty: to come to terms with death after which all things are possible." I believe it is excellent that you recognize and acknowledge your feelings and their origins. It is a first big step toward Camus' observation.

[newrunner]

Hi-

I totally agree with you. Mine started when my dog was dying, and I came upon her. I was 12, and tried to help her to no avail. I thought it was my fault. Then, when I was 14 I was diagnosed with a minor heart murmur. Aha! God was going to get me for sure.

I have matured now, humanly and as a Christian. Earlier this month, my uncle died and it was the first real "family" member in a really long time. We took all our kids out of school and had them experience the whole thing. Dead body, casket, taps, seeing the hole in the ground, music, sermon, etc. It was great for them, and actually a good reminder for me. My uncle wasn't there. The instant that he shut his eyes in death, he was in heaven. He wasn't suffering in death. He suffered when he was alive, from his illness. So- death was actually a good thing for him. And eternal life is a great thing. I think the reason I cried and got upset and that it bothers me is that I can't check out heaven before I get there and make sure it's a good thing. I want to know what people do up there and if they are aware of us down here. The whole thing is much larger than I can comprehend-- I am just trusting God that He said it's good, so it's good. And while we are on earth, He is with us and helps us get thru whatever is going on. I have a bracelet with the serenity prayer on it. Many times I stop to look at it and make a conscious decision if a situation is something that I can control or not. It does help to let go when I can't make a change. Who, by worrying, can add a single hour to his life? I'd encourage you to seize each day and enjoy each day. You sure don't want to get to end and wish you did it differently.