i noticed
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browneyedgirlnmo
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:33 am
last night I listened to the audio cd for Lesson 6. I realized I get angry about the smallest stuff. Why? Does it help the situation or does it make it worse? For the most part all it does it make the situation worse...I hate being angry. I get frustrated very easily. I'm going to work on that this week. I'll take two steps back when I feel myself starting to get angry...
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Guest
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Guest
I lack patience and I over thing everything which is the too worst behaviors you can have when you encounter angry. I tried the step back and 24 hour thing and my mind just won't let me do it. So I am just going to move on to sesson 7 and when I have finished the program go back to 6 until I can do it. I can honestly say my panic attacks haven't been around in a while and I can now see when I am getting anxious and it is anger triggered half the time. I hope the two step backs works for you
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Guest
I was an angry person for years. Eveything made me angry I thought I had to do everything at home at work and therfore I did but when I would ask someone to do something for me if they did not do it when I asked or for days later I did it but was very angry because i had asked for help but no one was willing to help me. At work I have noticed since before I started the program that there are many angry people who will draw you in to thier anger. That was me and i would blow up at everyone and everything that didn't go my way which usually led me to being called into the boss's office because of my behavior problems and anger issues.I have been a nurse in the same long term care facility for 16 years. i love my job and helping people but several months ago when I felt my stress level rising i went to the boss and told her that she needed to move me around as a float because I couldn't work with the same people all the time anymore because I felt like I was going to go insane listening to all the BMG of the other staff but always the same staff. i felt like i was doing so much more than I needed to but felt guilty if i didn't get my work done . This helped me at work but recently my personal life as took a turn and i started having panic attacks a work wondering what " he " was doing , was he cheating , was he looking for another woman , was he even home . he has a facebook acct with many female friends. I began to feel very angry at him because I had been thru 2 marriages where the spouse cheated on me. i guess that't the what if ??? Since the program my panic attacks have stopped but I still feel very sad.
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Guest
I got this exercise a couple adays ago in my DBT class at the clinic I belong to and I thought you'd like to hear the results of it.
The Forgiveness Inventory Exercise.
1.Make a list of those persons you wish to forgive who you find it very hard not to:
Ok here goes....
My Ex wife, Joy
Threasa
The Doctors In Charge of my Sister Anna
Step-Father Pat
2.Spend sometime on your list.
OK here goes....
Joy my Ex didn't realize she was distancing herself from me and that our relationship was dying 'cause she wanted...No needed to be a Robin Hood character out and about saving those who were worse off than us so she could feel better about herself. I was there but I was to depressed to doing anything to stop her from ruining our relationship by buring my head in the sand and telling myself that everything was all right. Which of course it wasn't. So once the doctors diagonsed me with Manic Depression and then told me that unless I change things in my life this condition would be the end of me. So I divorce her and this started my destroying the Co-Dependency relationship I started with my family of origin and continued with her. So with this exercise I realize now that she did my a great service in breaking this habit and getting my life back for the first time in my life.
Threasa
I really didn't like the way she behaved at Hospies when she raised a big stink at the staff there that they should give something leahal to my dying brother her husband so she could collect on the Insurance Money that would be coming her way once he was dead. And yet it has taken me a long time to stop hating her for this because I feel she helped to pound in the nails to his premature coffin when she ran up all their bills the ones he couldn't pay. But in order to free me from this terrible rage that burns deep in my soul I have to let this matter go and know that she will be judged for her actions not by me but by God.
The Doctors In Charge of my Sister Anna
who in my opinion are dragging their feet testing people who could possibly give her a kidney that will save her from my brother's fate. You see everyone in my clan except me have recieved a Kidney Disease that was on my father's side of his genes. So Anna, my little sister is waiting patently to get somebodies kidney. But no matter how loud I scream for them to test me they just keep on testing everybody else. She tells me that they want to make sure they don't make a mistake by testing too quickly. But I'm afraid that by the time they get to me she'll be too weak to survive the operation. She just told my mom that because of her high blood pressure she's either in for a stroke or she's going to go blind soon. And so I have to watch as my sibblings die and I can't do a thing to stop it. But I can stop blaming her doctors because I don't know all the facts I'm not one of them. So I'm letting the anger go.
Step-Father Pat
Who I bitterly hate. I watched how before his death from Lung Cancer he almost bankrupted him and my mom with his Gambling Addiction. Because like me he had a Drunken Master of a father figure who convinced him that he would never amount to anything unless he was RICH! So he spent a huge amount of his retirement on his gambling. But died before he could sell their home and leave her and me homeless.
But you know what I learned a great deal from this man that you can be a somebody who is dirt poor as long as you can learn to be a somebody to yourself. And this is the message I am passing on to all of you in the program. This is what the program taught me. Without it I'd still be knocking myself out to be a Richman to prove to my dead dads and everyone else that I am a somebody. Yes, I am as long as I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the person I'm looking at.
What more can you possibly ask for besides that?
Enough said.
Thanx.
The Forgiveness Inventory Exercise.
1.Make a list of those persons you wish to forgive who you find it very hard not to:
Ok here goes....
My Ex wife, Joy
Threasa
The Doctors In Charge of my Sister Anna
Step-Father Pat
2.Spend sometime on your list.
OK here goes....
Joy my Ex didn't realize she was distancing herself from me and that our relationship was dying 'cause she wanted...No needed to be a Robin Hood character out and about saving those who were worse off than us so she could feel better about herself. I was there but I was to depressed to doing anything to stop her from ruining our relationship by buring my head in the sand and telling myself that everything was all right. Which of course it wasn't. So once the doctors diagonsed me with Manic Depression and then told me that unless I change things in my life this condition would be the end of me. So I divorce her and this started my destroying the Co-Dependency relationship I started with my family of origin and continued with her. So with this exercise I realize now that she did my a great service in breaking this habit and getting my life back for the first time in my life.
Threasa
I really didn't like the way she behaved at Hospies when she raised a big stink at the staff there that they should give something leahal to my dying brother her husband so she could collect on the Insurance Money that would be coming her way once he was dead. And yet it has taken me a long time to stop hating her for this because I feel she helped to pound in the nails to his premature coffin when she ran up all their bills the ones he couldn't pay. But in order to free me from this terrible rage that burns deep in my soul I have to let this matter go and know that she will be judged for her actions not by me but by God.
The Doctors In Charge of my Sister Anna
who in my opinion are dragging their feet testing people who could possibly give her a kidney that will save her from my brother's fate. You see everyone in my clan except me have recieved a Kidney Disease that was on my father's side of his genes. So Anna, my little sister is waiting patently to get somebodies kidney. But no matter how loud I scream for them to test me they just keep on testing everybody else. She tells me that they want to make sure they don't make a mistake by testing too quickly. But I'm afraid that by the time they get to me she'll be too weak to survive the operation. She just told my mom that because of her high blood pressure she's either in for a stroke or she's going to go blind soon. And so I have to watch as my sibblings die and I can't do a thing to stop it. But I can stop blaming her doctors because I don't know all the facts I'm not one of them. So I'm letting the anger go.
Step-Father Pat
Who I bitterly hate. I watched how before his death from Lung Cancer he almost bankrupted him and my mom with his Gambling Addiction. Because like me he had a Drunken Master of a father figure who convinced him that he would never amount to anything unless he was RICH! So he spent a huge amount of his retirement on his gambling. But died before he could sell their home and leave her and me homeless.
But you know what I learned a great deal from this man that you can be a somebody who is dirt poor as long as you can learn to be a somebody to yourself. And this is the message I am passing on to all of you in the program. This is what the program taught me. Without it I'd still be knocking myself out to be a Richman to prove to my dead dads and everyone else that I am a somebody. Yes, I am as long as I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the person I'm looking at.
What more can you possibly ask for besides that?
Enough said.
Thanx.
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Guest
Wow. Yes the NO FEAR thing is such a JOKE! You know even though I did the Forgiveness bit on my sister in law, yesterday my mom and I was talking about her and the venom in my desire to see her die a slow and painful death came up once again. So even I still have issues with people like my dad, and others that still trigger in me ANGER AND RESENTMENT!!!!
But little by little I'm trying to release me from the hold they have on me through my hateful emotions I still harbor towards them by doing this Baby Step wise.
Thanx.
But little by little I'm trying to release me from the hold they have on me through my hateful emotions I still harbor towards them by doing this Baby Step wise.
Thanx.
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Guest
I was doing a good time, but I got so angry last night over a stupid computer that has beenOriginally posted by Girlie:
I understand exactly how you feel. I have anger issues and will blow up at the most trivial of things. I need to really focus on this program more and see what I can do to stop myself also. I hope it works out for you.
annoying me for over two years. I should have just had takened a big breath and closed it up and just left it alone. Now I have to fix it and it will cost money. I am beating myself up with this.....
Darla