In a rut

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:15 am

Yesterday, I took a verbal beating, which I probably deserved but can't snap out of it. I feel alone, lost and hopeless. Only things fellow sufferers would understand.
Ever wonder or wish you had a physical ailment instead of a mental one? Seems like you wouldn't have to suffer in silence and with pain that those around you can't relate to. Seems like there'd be so much more understanding and support. I know, be careful what you wish for... just saying it seems there's more help out there for physical ailments and so much more compassion instead of, for instance, being told to go sleep for a while, you'll feel better and everything will be fine when you wake up. Would you say that to someone with cancer? God be with those who do suffer with "real" illnesses or with both. Right now I've been made to feel worthless because of the roller coaster I travel from time to time with depression and anxiety. If only we had more awareness and understanding out there. Sounds like I'm bitter, but really just looking for a pick me up or word of encouragement or a chance to vitual scream and have an understanding soul out there somewhere.
I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on anyone and pray my children don't inherit this or develop this. As you can tell, my mind's in a million places- part of the bipoar I guess.
As long as I'm sounding off....the hospital stopped billing me and I got turned over to collections. The rep called me to set up payments, which I had been making when I was getting a bill. He kept pushing me to commit to a higher amount. I told him I was on disability and could only afford what I could afford. He asked about the disability to which I replied- it's mental. He then laughed and said on the way to work, he got cut off by a car that suddenly crossed three lanes at once to make an exit and thought "what a mental case!" I was speechless. Was he serious to compare an irresponsible driver to those of us who have a legit mental incapacity? I'd trade it in a heartbeat to be able to go back to work. But to be made light of in such a way both burned my tail and made me just...well, speechless. How can people be do cruel, ignorant and naive?
Thanks for letting me sound off. I don't come here much anymore. I've been on a good even keel until this last week. But I know I can always count on this group to understand. Thank God for Lucinda and her staff and for all of you. May He bless you all and keep you in the palm of His hand. Beverly

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 24, 2010 4:45 pm

Hi Beverly

,
That was the most "insensitive" joke, anyone could make in their entire lifetime!!! Sounds to me, like he has the problem!!!

Sweetie, you do NOT have a mental disorder to begin with!!! You are just overly sensitive and highly analytical, which can be a GREAT thing!!!

These are just emotional disorders, if someone feels the need to label them!!! I don't call depression, anxiety and panic attacks anything, but what they are!!!

So what if you get depressed from time to time!!! Every single person on this planet has been depressed at one "point" in their lives!!! No one is above being "depressed"..

Also, no one is immune to suffering from anxiety and panic attacks!!! And that includes that Rep.!!!

Not one single person in this world knows what tomorrow holds!!! But the good news is: We do know WHO holds tomorrow and that is the main thing in this life!!!

I wouldn't waste my precious energy thinking upon these type of things!!! You are doing the very best you can, and your best is GOOD enough!!!

You are NOT worthless!!! You are very, very valuable!!! You were made in the very image of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!!!

Please do NOT allow others to define your identity!!! Because, I am sure they have many beams in their own eyes; therefore they cannot see you clearly!!!

I pray you have the best night's rest ever!!! May God Richly Bless You on Your Journey to Recovery!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 24, 2010 5:29 pm

Mrs T Bones,
You are absolutely right as usual in every respect! What an uplifter and level headed person you are to see so clearly! I will be taking every word to heart and tomorrow will be a much better day. God bless you! Beverly

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:57 pm

I feel the same way, Im always being put down and people always judge me because of my social anxiety. My mom always says things to me like " Thats so annoying you need to over come this and grow up" and stuff like that people say to me everyday. My friends use to think i was weird and no longer want anything to do with me...I have ALWAYS felt like an outcast to everyone, family, friends, ect. I do not want my kids to ever feel like this or have the mental problems I do. i will always be there for them no matter what. Sometimes I wonder what its gonna be like when my daughter is old enough to understand I have this anxiety problem. I hope she understands...But how are we suppost to overcome this with people being negative and non supportive? I feel ya...and your not alone..im in the same boat.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 4:45 am

2young4this,
I once read "Stigma erodes confidence that mental disorders are REAL, treatable health conditions. We have allowed stigma to cause us to tell those needing treatment to "snap out of it" or to simply "turn it over to God." Would we tell that to someone who had a stroke, an ulcer or high blood pressure?"

The perception people have is so unfair and makes so many suffer in silence without help.
I let my son live with his dad after our divorce and told myself in my condition, he would be better taken care of. Now it's gone from seeing him anytime I want to every other weekend thanks to jerk of a exhusband. There are so many ways this can affect our kids. I know if one of mine turns out to be a sufferer, I will go to the ends of the earth to be there and help. I will do that no matter who I run across.

We will plug along and manage despite what others think. We have each other. We are gaining ground every day.

I have a college-aged daughter who understands and is supportive but shows some signs herself. My son is only 11 but will soon know what mom suffers from. The little one is 4 and it breaks my heart to see her OCD and ADD tendencies.

Stay strong and let's stick together. And we will try not to worry about tomorrow and just focus on having a good day. Thanks for your post. I appreciate it so much.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 4:54 am

I think I just wanted to cry maybe its the pregnacy hormones haha..But when you said your 4 yr old was showin signs it really touched me, because my 3 year old acts nervous and scared sometimes and is very shy just like how I was when i was a child. i HOPE and PREY that she outgrows it....I just wish I had support at home..But I never did and never really will..But I do have you guys, and this site. It helps me get threw some rough days. Thanks for understanding how I feel, I dont feel like a outcast on here..I feel appreciated and not alone.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:54 am

Yes, yes, yes, I can relate to not getting support growing up, but am lucky my parents found and bought this program a few years ago for me. I think they just didn't recognize the signs and probably wouldn't have known what to do anyway.

Sometimes my little gets in trouble and I'll tell her to stop crying- it'll be alright. She says she can't stop. I don't THINK she's heard me say that but I have. It breaks my heart to think she's on my track. But luckily we are here to guide them and get them help if they grow up and suffer like us. We are the best teachers and mentors because we know what's gotten us through.
All we can do now is start guiding them and helping them learn to cope early and they won't suffer near as much as we have when they get older and they'll appreciate learning from our experiences.