Getting There

[LaLo]

Hello fellow panic-ers! Wow, I'm reading this forum for the first time. In a way I'm glad to hear I'm not the only koo-koo out there but at the same time it makes me sad that other people, great people, are going through this horrible thing as well. Wish I was the only one who had anxiety, this way no one else would have to trudge through this. But, since it is not so, here we all are. My mom bought me this program as a last ditch effort. I've refused meds and help for the last 14 years that I've had panic attacks/depression. Don't ask why... I'm just difficult I suppose. I hate to ask for help, I hate to admit I need it, and I just want to be 'normal'. So, needless to say after working the first three sessions I put it back in it's packaging and set it aside. For two years it's collected dust (and some pooch hairs). This morning I busted it out. I want to do all the things I set out to do when I was younger and fearless. I'm tired of being out of control, of giving in and taking the 'easy' road and I want to start living like everyone else. So, here I go. Wish me luck. I have a wedding to go to in March in Antigua, Guatemala. Did she just say Guatemala? Yup, Guatemala. I'm from Florida and the only time I've been out of the country was on a cruise to Mexico with my mom and my anxiety. When I was younger I used to jet-set all over the country by myself. It was even better when I'd travel by myself, feeling all grown up and independent like I so longed to be. Since, it's been a downward spiral (or rollarcoaster whatever you prefer to call it). So, incredibly long story short... I'm going. I'm not going to get off the plane this time. Yes, I've walked off the plane that was supposed to get me to the New York Film Academy and plunge me into the beautiful life I'd invisioned for myself. Walked right off it. I'm not going to blame it on "can't get out of work," "my boyfriend wont let me," or "I have the flu" ever again. I'm getting on the plane (and staying on it) and I'm going to zip-glide around a stinkin rainforest in Guatemala if it's the last thing I do! And if I'm feelin extra spunky, I'll scale that volcano (I forget the name) and sit my italian behind next to some molten lava! So there! Take that! LOL! Sorry, if you're reading this I half expect to get any responses. I'm just trying to get through this. Please wish me luck as I wish all of you luck. Lets get through this will a little humor and a whole lotta fun! Anyone with me?

[Paisleegreen]

Hey, LaLo! I'm so happy for you! Hey, I use to scuba dive in Florida and the Bahamas w/ sharks. I would love to go to Honduras for a scuba diving trip over there. So you go have some fun, girl! All the energy you have to cause panic will help you to climb mountains and stepping stones to the "ruins".
Go have some fun! Paislee