anger

Just Jen · Post by **Just Jen** » Thu May 28, 2009 8:18 pm

hi everyone. i'm new here. i'm not new to the problems but lately they've been affecting me a lot more. i used to think i could take on everything by myself and everything would be ok, but about three months ago everything fell apart again. i go through these cycles where i'm mostly fine but the all of a sudden something comes from out of nowhere and takes me down. it's not even a tangible something. it's just inside. it's really hard for me to describe. but for the last three months, it's pretty much run my life. i was finally able to get a psychiatrist last week after a lot of trying. apparently everyone in my area has issues because none of the psychiatrists were taking new patients. so far i've been diagnosed with PMDD and Panic Disorder. i have something that has depression involved - i know that - but haven't been diagnosed in that area yet. i've not been to work in three months. my sleep schedule has switched to completely the opposite of what it should be. all of the symptoms come and go, but the anger seems to be there a lot lately. i just feel like breaking something or banging a hole in the wall or something. i don't know. i don't feel anything else. i don't feel like it's related to anything. and i've been having a lot of nightmares, which is also interfering with my sleep. the sleep meds i've tried so far don't help. i spend a lot of nights in my room just crying and trying to express what i'm feeling in some sort of journal or something, but all i feel is anger. and there's only so much one can write about anger. i'm not sure but the only thing i've been able to come up with is that i must be mad at myself for something. maybe i feel like i've failed at something. but mostly my self esteem is really good, so i'm not sure what i might think i've failed at. and now i just feel like i'm rambling. what i want to know is: has anyone else felt like this? i know we all have had problems and felt anger and all, but has anyone else felt it to this extent for this long for no apparent reason? my psychiatrist hasn't addressed this concern yet. and to be honest, i'm looking for another one because although i can tell that she has the best of intentions, i feel that she's not focused on me for my sessions. she gets distracted easily, so i don't feel that we accomplish much. is that normal? i don't know. maybe i'm expecting too much too soon. it would just be nice to hear some of your thoughts, though. when my schedule is normal again i want to get into something calming spiritually like yoga. any suggestions there? i'd really appreciate any comments. thanks for listening.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 29, 2009 1:26 am

I am so glad to hear from you. That you are using the materials brings great encouragement for those of us struggling with our 'out of sorts' dilemmas. I have experienced so many of these same things in my life, too.

The help we have comes from so many and so much professional input. Being able to find that quiet and caring space within can be a learned phenomena..... like the breathing, the noticing, the accepting, and 'voila' the permission to be who we are.

Brother though, when the panic comes and anger about all of it.... I guess that is when these materials are avail

Hang in there, remember yourself in love

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 29, 2009 3:27 am

I like to use the "What is this about?" question when I hit a wall. Nothing SEEMS to be wrong in our lives, but we hit that wall and don't know why. I have to keep asking, sometimes for a couple months "What is this about, what is REALLY making me angry, upset, anxious?"

For me, the answer usually comes. I hope you find your, keep trying.