I DID IT!!!! - NOW BEGINS THE "1ST DAY" OF THE REST OF MY LIFE!

Lenore · Post by **Lenore** » Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:45 am

I have some reallllllllllllllllly great news to share w/ you all. Last night, I GRADUATED FR THERAPY!

I had initiated therapy w/ my psychiatrist almost 4 yrs ago, when anxiety disorder triggered, on MAY 3 2005. I was in such a severe state: anxiety disorder + panic attacks + PTSD fr 3 diff things + severe sleep deprivation.

I set out to understand "this thing" that had befallen me. While I attended intensively/weekly therapy session, I began to READ BOOKS - LOADS OF THEM. LOL, after all them books man, I was like a child w/ green veggies, lol - UPPPPPP TO HERE W/ BOOKS ^^^^ LOL :p I went back to therapy in PROTEST "I am not reading anymore books". My therapist recommended a book that changed my life & set the course for my recovery, by giving me a sense of direction = THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED. That book made it so clear what I would need to do to HEAL, it frightened me. Any hows, lol - in that book, PECK - the author said something profound to me: Peck said in his book, that majority of people who do need therapy don't seek it out. He went on to say something to the effect that those that do seek out therapy, majority of them DON'T SEE IT THROUGH TO THE END. Meaning, they cut therapy short prematurely - long b/4 they should. He put the figure somewhere @ 1-10 ONLY see it through to the end (if I remember correctly - that was 4 yrs ago lol). Well, I wanted to be 1 of those folks he was referring to. I wanted to be that 1 in 10 who saw therapy through to the end.

During that time, I had to work through some pretty frightening & painful events I had experienced in yrs gone by (childhood). I make no joke about how hard that was for me & how very much it hurt my heart to face MY TRUTHS. In spite of those difficulties, I went back every single week - facing dwn my demons - willing to do battle - FACE TO FACE. It was ON & I was GAME, reluctantly lol - but I was, hahaha.

After my having recovered fr anxiety disorder/ptsd - I was diagnosed w/ depression. I thought it was some sick joke. I hit the ground running again. I faced the why's behind my depression in session/therapy. Simultaneously, I made some long over-due changes in myself & my life. My goal every step of the way was to not be a lifetime therapy patient on depress meds forever, if possible. Due to my work & progress, my med dosage was lowered periodically - when appropriate. I had never experienced depress b/4 in my life (I'm now 40). As a result, I often looked to my psychiatrist for guidance (the what's & where's & when's & how's). Something transformative happened to me. I knew going to last nite's session, I was ready to leave therapy - that our time was done. I typed a little something encompassing these thoughts to share w/ my psychiatrist. One doesn't share almost 4 yrs of their life w/ someone w/o wanting to express some SERIOUS SENTIMENTS. He agreed w/ me. We shared some personal thoughts w/ eachother, for which I'll keep private. He stood up: this man w/ 30+ yrs experience - whom I had shared the deepest parts of my heart/soul - & he HUGGED ME - w/ me crying HAVING AN "OPRAH MOMENT" - w/ him shedding a few tears of absolute pride in me(no boo hoo moment for him - just like 2 or 3 tears running dwn his cheek). We didn't say the technical GOODBYE - that "hug" symbolized that. W/ that, I walked out of that therapy room - walking the FIRST STEPS OF THE REST OF MY LIFE

You all can gather by my various postings, I am a sentimental gal. I am a PROUD walking 24/7 CHICK FLICK, LOL LOL! I've so many emotions right now - so much I am feeling & thinking. I am humbled. I don't know if it will make sense to y'all - the prominant emotion I am feeling is PRIDE. Sure I am proud of me - the adult woman I am. Moreso, I am very very proud of the child I once was - aka - LITTLE "LENORE" For, it was she who endured the worst - the brunt of it all & as little as she was - she fought like hell to live & survive for us both during those early years. Now, due to our work together in the NOW, LITTLE LENORE is finally free.

Thank you all for allowing me this moment to share w/ you.

Your friend,

LENORE

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:08 am

OUTSTANDING!!!!!! ABSOULETLY OUTSTANDING!!!!!!!

Lenore, reading your triumph got me pumped! I felt like my Giants won the Super Bowl again. You! You won the Super Bowl!

You started therapy--and saw it threw. You bought tons of books. This is something I always do with a problem--emotional or physical. If I am not in Barnes and Noble, I am reading related stuff on the Net. You faced down your childhood events. You worked hand-in-hand with the psychiatrist. You are proud of your childhood and your present.

You should be proud of yourself.

You are Tiger Woods, Wayne Gretzky, Billie Jean King, Dale Enhardt, Babe Ruth, Eli Manning, and Michale Jordan all rolled into one! You are the embodiment of success. I am proud--and encouraged--by you.

Rocky music playing

OUTSTANDING!!!!!! ABSOULETLY OUTSTANDING!!!!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:33 am

AWESOME !!!!!!!! I hope everyone on here reads your post ! Congratulations !!!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 08, 2008 5:17 am

Lenore, you have been a wonderful friend and guide all the way through here at StressCenter.com since I began early last June. I am SO PROUD OF YOU! And I am HAPPY for you, too.

ClearSky · Post by **ClearSky** » Sat Nov 08, 2008 5:36 am

Wow! Lenore, you are such an inspiration! Many of your posts have given me courage to keep going.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 12:35 am

Lenore, Fantastic for you. That is awesome news and I look forward to the day that I post my Graduation from therapy. I wish you true happiness.
LisaLisa

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:31 am

Congratulations, and yes, so very inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing!!

(((Big Hug)) pinkeetoz

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:19 am

I am so elated for you. This post gave me chills. You are so incredibly strong for facing your fears and still enduring. Reading posts like this gives me hope that I can make it through too...we all can.

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 8:58 am

Im so happy for you Lenore! You deserve to be happy and to feel free. You did it girl! Celebrate! You deserve it!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 9:45 am

WOW!!!! Thank you all for your kind words.

If my success/recovery & my very example can inspire y'all - it's all good.

Your friend,

Lenore

P.S.

I'm celebrating this coming Sat evening w/ hubby + best friend of 30yrs & her family. I'm finally gonna have that DRINK!!