Thinking I need a refresher on this lesson. Please anyone advice....
As I type this, my parents are sitting out on my patio chatting up a relaxed storm, while I am here complaining and stressed. lol My frustrations with then (mainly Mom) go deep. I have asked my mother to please respect my space and not do pop In's as they seem to only work for HER time schedule, not ours. It seems to fall on deaf ears. I am at my wits end with this and am nothing short of ready to move with no forwarding address to avoid this situation again.
When I had my first apartment with my boyfriend, mom decided to pop in a few nights a week and every sat. This made me very angry as one of those nights was my day off and the only night I would prepare a homemade meal for my boyfriend, myself, and MOM! eerrrr As the years progressed, so too did my resentment. Fast forward 10 yrs to relocating with my now husband and kids. We had two peaceful yrs. I know that sounds bad, but it was wonderful in all honesty. No wondering if she would pop in at what we would have considered that ahhhh finally a moment of rest time.
It was short lived. They moved near us again. At the time I had two toddlers and cherished nap time. Dad decided that it would be his coffee break and venting about my mother time and so the knock at the door came every few days. My then toddlers are now active kids involved in sports, play dates, and many activities that keep us moving 24/7. This doesn't seem to phase my mother one bit. Still knocks at the door as I am trying to shower to make a deadline and takes a seat as I am running around in a scurry to keep time. We had a period of no talking that lasted a yr or so and from that time on, her drive bye's became fewer and fewer. I think she realized that I have a life of my own now and I am much more independent then my siblings and am very resentful at these intrusions. My siblings have also asked her to please respect their space as well and it has made zero difference.Prior to coming on here this eve to ask for some help with this, I was out rapping up my yard work as I will not have another chance to do so for the next few weeks, and they drove up. They knew I was irritated and continued into the house to visit. I did as I always do and played the game. I continue on with what ever it is that I am doing PRIOR to them popping in on us and ignore them. My Mom ignores that I am angry and we'll do this all over agin next week. lol
Thanks to any one who actually read all this, lol, and I would appreciate any advice as I am out of solutions.
Tullip
She walks her dog and talks to EVERYONE. She knows every ones business too. When she spends time over to our house, all she does is talk, talk, talk. You can never get a word in. She finds the worst subjects to entertain also. She loves to talk about her poor health and who's ill, who's passed and how terrible things are for herself or others. It can be draining. I try to talk about positive things and keep her in the now. I always say things like Ma...stay in the now, stop worrying about what was or will be. She seems annoyed with me when I do this. 