How do youstop it getting to you?

celeron · Post by **celeron** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:08 am

I read some of the post on here, and you guys are all so kind and caring, I'd love to be like that. Rather than being kind and caring I am more likly to be rude and ignorant to you. My boss once said to me "You have a terrible chip on your shoulder, you won't last long around here with an attitude like that" I'm still there 3 years later

, Although I do not feel depressed as such, someone once told me that this frustration, bitterness and down right rotten attitude is all coming from my anxiety. I think rotten attitude sums me right up.

I admit I am bitter, I suppose 10 years of having anxiety would make you that way. Some of you guys on here have had anxiety longer than me, how do you keep a good attitude, how do you stop it getting to you? I feel almso tlike I could explode anytime, I am just like a bomb waiting to explode.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 9:58 am

I can get very aggitated from my anxiety. Just last night I fell asleep with a lot on my mind and I woke up in a sour mood. I knew it too - I was cranky and moody and wound up fighting with my husband. I told him upfront, I woke up cranky and aggitated, it's nothing you did, please just bear with me today. Well, we're still arguing...but I take the time before losing it to think about what I'm really mad at. i think the biggest way to stay in control is to just think before you act. I wanted to be nasty during our last phone call, but I didn't. I apologized for my mood/behavior. Even though it wasn't what I wanted to do (I just wanted to fight I guess) I stopped that urge and redirected myself. I also know that because I've not gotten many workouts in recently due to an injury.. my mood is also negatively effected. I keep sane by continuously integrating workouts into my daily life and pausing before I react. I don't know about you.. but I can literally feel the change when I'm aggitated. I just know that on days like that I have to be extra cautious with my reactions and I have to keep telling myself my anger is inflated because of me... not because of the reality of the situation. Take time to be angry, write a letter and rip it up, take a walk... make sure you have healthy outlets for getting rid of some of the excess emotions. And I make sure to tell people if I'm having a bad day, because it helps them be a little more understanding as well.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:02 am

I can't answer your question. But I do know that I was once very bitter too. That bitterness went away when I worked the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

You don't have to be an alcoholic to benefit from the 12 steps. The first step is the only step that even mentions alcohol. After that, the remaining 11 steps are all about spiritual and personal growth. You can just replace the word "alcohol" in the first step with "anxiety" or "other people" or you can just eliminate the words "over alcohol" altogether.

There are many books out there for working the 12 steps. I know people who aren't alcoholics but still used the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" which is more affectionately referred to in AA as "The Big Book." There is also a 12 step book in Al-Anon and many generic 12 step books out there too.

EDIT-If you did decide to work the 12 steps, I would wait until I finished the Combatting Stress and Depression Program program. I wouldn't try to work both simultaneously.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:34 am

For me its a choice that I have. Just like all the other choices in my life. What do I want to eat? what do I want to do? I can choose to be happy and have a good day or I can chhoose to let all the things and people around me effect the way I feel. I prefer to be Happy. I'm not saying its always easy its not. I to let peolpe and things get me down but I choose how long I stay that way. I try not to let them or the situation have that much control over my life. The first step is to look at yourself in the mirror and say I chhose to be happy and smile. Have you ever heard the saying that a smile is contagious (spelling?) Smile and the world will smile at you. Or at least they will wonder what your up to. Ha Ha. Take little steps when someone makes you mad. calm yourself, smile, and tell yourself you are not going to let them have that much control over you. I hope this helps you.

I'm smiling at you. Here's your first smile catch it and pass it on to someone else.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 4:44 pm

I don't see bitterness in your posts at all. You give great advice- straight and to the point.
It's had to reach out to people. I have the fear of rejection. Or looking stupid. But we all know what each other is going through and it makes it easy to give a kind word or virtual high 5.
I think it's an easy thing to do better in your life. Start by reaching out to one person this week. Then each week increase it by one more. Soon you will be doing it every day and it will become second nature to you. Blessings will come your way for helping others

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 19, 2008 5:50 pm

I was at a wedding not so long ago, I looked around and there was everyone having a good time, and there was me sat with a face like a smacked a$$ wondering why no one would come near me, would you blame them? Anyway it was almost like "Oi, Look at me, I have anxiety and feel like $hit, and because I feel like $hit you should to" Thats the problem, because I feel like $hit most of the time, its like everyone else should as well.