Many of us have and have had, problems finding the motivation to look for work. I confess that I do. I used to think I am lazy but I know there is more than that. There is low self- esteem, perfectionism, fear of rejection, fear of failure, lack of faith, pain from past setbacks, guilt also, and even more I cannot think of right now.
I tire of those who say, "You should call ABC, I hear they are good to work for", or "Did you call ABC? I hear they are hiring", or "Just get your foot in the door", or, "You should check ABC, they pay well".
This has been one of the biggest challenges in my life throughout the years. This time around, I have fewer resources than ever to get me through this round. This community is definitely one of the bright spots for me. Thank you.
We who are depressed say, "Never give up, never surrender"!
Motivation to look for work
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Guest
Hi Don. You know, at our age, we are the true business chiefs. We have the skills, we've been to a few schools of hard knocks, and we have perspective on the bigger picture. I don't have any advice here. I did leave my many years of working in hospitals and a surgery practice (as a therapist) to go it alone. The part I dislike the most is all the red tape for private contracting and working independently, and the tax 
confusion leaves me too befuddled to care. But, to say it more briefly, you are probably the best person you know to do the kind of work you do. Who better to work for than yourself? Nothing is easy when depressed. I had trouble just motivating to drive down and get my mail every day six weeks ago. Today I have a lot of inner suffering to deal with, but I have seen some lights at the end of this tunnel, and today I can see the humor. It's a good sign when we see the humor, and I can tell that you do. Kind regards from your friend, Pecos.
confusion leaves me too befuddled to care. But, to say it more briefly, you are probably the best person you know to do the kind of work you do. Who better to work for than yourself? Nothing is easy when depressed. I had trouble just motivating to drive down and get my mail every day six weeks ago. Today I have a lot of inner suffering to deal with, but I have seen some lights at the end of this tunnel, and today I can see the humor. It's a good sign when we see the humor, and I can tell that you do. Kind regards from your friend, Pecos.-
Guest
Thanks for the good words.
Lucinda says in session 3 or 4 that many people who suffer from anxiety and/or depression seem to lack direction and goals. I have been interested in so many things and have been able to do many things, but I have never really had passion about anything. I have taken a couple of skill/interest inventories and several personality tests, but I still feel at a loss for where to focus. I have prayed and prayed and asked God for direction, but I am either not listening or not ready yet.
I do get to spend a lot of time helping raise my niece's 3 kids but they will go back to school soon and I desperately need full time work and money. Every avenue i have tried seems to end in frustration. i am deliveering pizza on the weekend, but this is only 10-12 hours so far.
All the free time has given me time to spend on the program and it has helped. Also, I have saved a lot on gas. lol
We are human beings and not human doings, so I am determined to be a better me. Thanks for your support.
Lucinda says in session 3 or 4 that many people who suffer from anxiety and/or depression seem to lack direction and goals. I have been interested in so many things and have been able to do many things, but I have never really had passion about anything. I have taken a couple of skill/interest inventories and several personality tests, but I still feel at a loss for where to focus. I have prayed and prayed and asked God for direction, but I am either not listening or not ready yet.
I do get to spend a lot of time helping raise my niece's 3 kids but they will go back to school soon and I desperately need full time work and money. Every avenue i have tried seems to end in frustration. i am deliveering pizza on the weekend, but this is only 10-12 hours so far.
All the free time has given me time to spend on the program and it has helped. Also, I have saved a lot on gas. lol
We are human beings and not human doings, so I am determined to be a better me. Thanks for your support.
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Guest
Don,
I can totally empathize with you. I have been in the same industry for over 15 years and am sick of it. Actually, the only real reason I said yes to my husband in regards to moving far away is because it gave me the opportunity to leave my line of work "and find what I want to do when I grow up"!
Well there's bad and good in that. I was going just crazy with my last job (the deadlines, unrealistic expectations of clients, my lack of assertiveness which made me feel like others weren't listening, etc.) and just wanted a quick fix to get out. Well, I got the quick fix, but unfortunately here I am stuck with myself and wondering what I am "called" to do.
Last week I came to peace with the fact that right now, I am called to do this program. I am volunteering some, which is helping, but I am not earning any money, which is quite difficult for me. Money is actually VERY tight right now and my husband just got a pay cut! Since I'm praying and not hearing what I need to do, I realize this is where God wants me to be.
Each day I must wake up dedicated to do the every part of the program associated with that day. I now have a goal in mind for completing it (my only deadline right now). I realize I may want to go back over sections later and I can do that - later. For now, I must move on.
I spoke with my husband about this "job" of mine and he is on board with me. It is quite a sacrifice for him as well because things that he'd like to see getting done aren't getting done in a timely fashion because I'm spending much time on this. I figure if I'm spending the money, I've GOT to make the investment. The other things will come in time when I really am being more effective and less affected.
This is working for me and I hope it helps you to sort things out for yourself.
If you don't mind, tell me more about why everyone wants you to go to ABC and why you hesitate.
Thanks!
I can totally empathize with you. I have been in the same industry for over 15 years and am sick of it. Actually, the only real reason I said yes to my husband in regards to moving far away is because it gave me the opportunity to leave my line of work "and find what I want to do when I grow up"!
Well there's bad and good in that. I was going just crazy with my last job (the deadlines, unrealistic expectations of clients, my lack of assertiveness which made me feel like others weren't listening, etc.) and just wanted a quick fix to get out. Well, I got the quick fix, but unfortunately here I am stuck with myself and wondering what I am "called" to do.
Last week I came to peace with the fact that right now, I am called to do this program. I am volunteering some, which is helping, but I am not earning any money, which is quite difficult for me. Money is actually VERY tight right now and my husband just got a pay cut! Since I'm praying and not hearing what I need to do, I realize this is where God wants me to be.
Each day I must wake up dedicated to do the every part of the program associated with that day. I now have a goal in mind for completing it (my only deadline right now). I realize I may want to go back over sections later and I can do that - later. For now, I must move on.
I spoke with my husband about this "job" of mine and he is on board with me. It is quite a sacrifice for him as well because things that he'd like to see getting done aren't getting done in a timely fashion because I'm spending much time on this. I figure if I'm spending the money, I've GOT to make the investment. The other things will come in time when I really am being more effective and less affected.
This is working for me and I hope it helps you to sort things out for yourself.
If you don't mind, tell me more about why everyone wants you to go to ABC and why you hesitate.
Thanks!
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Guest
Hey Don...just wanted to check in to wish you all the best. I can appreciate exactly where you're coming from! I've been out of work (the paying kind 
, since the beginning of April. My anxiety issues started to resurface; thus leading me to this awesome program! Even though the ultimate decision to leave my past employer was my decision, I was put "against the wall" to either change my part-time hours (that benefited my family SO well) to full-time (at this stage in life, we thought this change to be more of a hinderance than help to our family) or move on down the road. I chose to "move on down the road"...but felt/feel so out of control (hmmm, I've heard of that "control" thing being an issue for those of us!!!) Anyway, the time has afforded me to be home during the summer with our kids...priceless experience, not to mention not having to find good daycare for them, if I were still working...of which a good chunk of change would go to paying for them to be with someone else...as well as cutting down greatly on gas!!! So, while I'm finding several positives to this situation...it still leaves me feeling the uncertainty of what my future will bring, especially once the kids start back to school...in just a few weeks 
I didn't realize prior to my departure from my job, how much of "me" was defined by the work that I did...not having the job to focus on, allowed me the time to work thru this program as well as re-discover who I am and try as you, to figure it all out! I absolutely believe in the power of prayer, with that I will join you in your prayers for guidance and direction in our finding jobs suitable for each of us! I'd put an application in for work at the kids' school and have been rather frustrated and on edge, in hopes of hearing about an interview offer...or something. Just last night I went back online to the school district's website and found that another of the schools has an open position that is of interest to me, too...so I applied! Fingers crossed I hear something! Don't you know I give thanks to God just for showing me that there ARE possibilities out there and that maybe just maybe this is the open window I was looking for, after feeling that a door had just been closed, this past spring! Just the feeling of renewed HOPE is invigorating!
I hope and trust that you too will have a "window open" and it will be a great adventure on your journey of your life!
God speed!
, since the beginning of April. My anxiety issues started to resurface; thus leading me to this awesome program! Even though the ultimate decision to leave my past employer was my decision, I was put "against the wall" to either change my part-time hours (that benefited my family SO well) to full-time (at this stage in life, we thought this change to be more of a hinderance than help to our family) or move on down the road. I chose to "move on down the road"...but felt/feel so out of control (hmmm, I've heard of that "control" thing being an issue for those of us!!!) Anyway, the time has afforded me to be home during the summer with our kids...priceless experience, not to mention not having to find good daycare for them, if I were still working...of which a good chunk of change would go to paying for them to be with someone else...as well as cutting down greatly on gas!!! So, while I'm finding several positives to this situation...it still leaves me feeling the uncertainty of what my future will bring, especially once the kids start back to school...in just a few weeks I didn't realize prior to my departure from my job, how much of "me" was defined by the work that I did...not having the job to focus on, allowed me the time to work thru this program as well as re-discover who I am and try as you, to figure it all out! I absolutely believe in the power of prayer, with that I will join you in your prayers for guidance and direction in our finding jobs suitable for each of us! I'd put an application in for work at the kids' school and have been rather frustrated and on edge, in hopes of hearing about an interview offer...or something. Just last night I went back online to the school district's website and found that another of the schools has an open position that is of interest to me, too...so I applied! Fingers crossed I hear something! Don't you know I give thanks to God just for showing me that there ARE possibilities out there and that maybe just maybe this is the open window I was looking for, after feeling that a door had just been closed, this past spring! Just the feeling of renewed HOPE is invigorating!I hope and trust that you too will have a "window open" and it will be a great adventure on your journey of your life!
God speed!
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Guest
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Guest
You guys want to talk about lack of motivation, I challenge any of you's to beat this.
I left school at 16 with no exams, why?? No motivation, and because of this I have floated from dead end job to dead end job, hell at the min I am stuck working in a factory for minimum wage. I can't drive, why? No motivation to take any lessons, I don't own my own home why? No motivation to save, I'm not married although we live together like husband and wife, why?? No motivation. I've never had a vacation, why?? Yes no motivation. This will make me sound bad but I have a fiance who is not the woman of my dreams, why??? She was the first who would take me, I had no motivation to try for my dream girl.
That is what lack of motivation is, I think you could sum me up as "Looser". I bet you guys have exams, own your own homes etc etc???
What exactly have I achieved in life? Well I have 2 kids which weren't planned, they just came along... Rather sad for my 28 years on this plannet.
I left school at 16 with no exams, why?? No motivation, and because of this I have floated from dead end job to dead end job, hell at the min I am stuck working in a factory for minimum wage. I can't drive, why? No motivation to take any lessons, I don't own my own home why? No motivation to save, I'm not married although we live together like husband and wife, why?? No motivation. I've never had a vacation, why?? Yes no motivation. This will make me sound bad but I have a fiance who is not the woman of my dreams, why??? She was the first who would take me, I had no motivation to try for my dream girl.
That is what lack of motivation is, I think you could sum me up as "Looser". I bet you guys have exams, own your own homes etc etc???
What exactly have I achieved in life? Well I have 2 kids which weren't planned, they just came along... Rather sad for my 28 years on this plannet.
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Guest
Hi Celeron,
Glad to hear from you over in Ireland, what
a lovely country, though if you are on this forum, it probably is hard for you to care about right now...
Just to encourage you, I met my husband John, when he was 28, he was doing drugs, drinking way too much, no job, dropped out of college, living almost totally out of his car... I laugh when I look back on those days, he's 61 this year (ancient I know to someone only 28!),,, we've been happily married for over 30 years (we lived together too, get married!),,,
we own a beautiful home, have a good home business, he's become the most motivated person I know.... No more drugs, or alcohol, he found the Lord Jesus who changed both of our lives entirely. He got "saved" when he was about 45, and nothing has ever been the same, not just church, not just lip service, he began to seek God and reading the Bible, and found the answer to so many of life's problems... I know it sounds too easy, and I'm certainly not saying life is without struggles, but there is hope, don't be robbed of your youth and life... Put one foot in front of the other, and begin ONE STEP AT A TIME,,, to find peace, find God,,, ask Him to show you the way, He loves you even though it doesn't seem possible...
Prayers your way,
fairlight
Glad to hear from you over in Ireland, what
a lovely country, though if you are on this forum, it probably is hard for you to care about right now...
Just to encourage you, I met my husband John, when he was 28, he was doing drugs, drinking way too much, no job, dropped out of college, living almost totally out of his car... I laugh when I look back on those days, he's 61 this year (ancient I know to someone only 28!),,, we've been happily married for over 30 years (we lived together too, get married!),,,
we own a beautiful home, have a good home business, he's become the most motivated person I know.... No more drugs, or alcohol, he found the Lord Jesus who changed both of our lives entirely. He got "saved" when he was about 45, and nothing has ever been the same, not just church, not just lip service, he began to seek God and reading the Bible, and found the answer to so many of life's problems... I know it sounds too easy, and I'm certainly not saying life is without struggles, but there is hope, don't be robbed of your youth and life... Put one foot in front of the other, and begin ONE STEP AT A TIME,,, to find peace, find God,,, ask Him to show you the way, He loves you even though it doesn't seem possible...
Prayers your way,
fairlight