I Feel Like I'm In a Rut

jj76 · Post by **jj76** » Wed May 21, 2008 8:51 am

I just completed the program last week. Last week i also felt better than I have in months (i think my antidepressant is finally starting to kick in) but the last two days have been really challenging. I feel down again - I am not sure what to do with myself / my life. All I can see is a big question mark. Maybe it's because I put so much emphasis on feeling better that when I finally did for more than a week even that started feeling like it wasn't enough. I almost cry at the thought because I have prayed for peace of mind every day for months. My big thing was/is obsessive thinking (mostly unwanted sexual thoughts). I have learned to just let the thoughts be there (thanks to the advice of others on the forum - God bless you) but they still keep coming. I don't really get worked up by them, but the fact they are still there I think is wearing me down. I hate them so much and I want them to just stop. It's like the memory of them is still there; and they are triggered fairly easily still - although not as much as before. I should also mention that this is the third week of being on the dosage my doctor wanted me on (100 mg Zoloft) but have been on an antidepressant (this is my second) since February. I was so excited when I started feeling better although I could feel my negative habits coming back in the form of skepticism - I blew it off and kept feeling better until the last two days. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Am I expecting too much too soon? Will my obsessive thoughts really go away for good? Is my outlook towards the future still blurred by depression? How much longer will this take? I was finally feeling like i was coming out of this whole a week ago but now I feel lost again. Please help. ~JJ

puffins · Post by **puffins** » Wed May 21, 2008 9:19 am

Hi, jj76,
I know a big thing for me that makes it harder to let go of the anxiety--is waiting for the anxiety to go away!! On an anxious day I might say to myself several times, "when will this feeling pass?" We must condition ourselves to say, "this will pass," or "I know what this is and it will pass," rather than "I hate this!" We all really don't like the feeling.

Pick up your postive statement notebook again and everytime you have the negative thought--write it and then your postive statement. You have the tools!

Peace to you on this precious present day!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 21, 2008 3:13 pm

I had trouble when I finished the tapes. I was getting all this good info and then it stopped and I felt lost. I started them again and am picking up more the second go round.
My doctor says the anto-depressants take a few weeks to get the full effect, so you're almost there! Hang in there!