Depressive Cycles

zempath · Post by **zempath** » Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:54 am

Hey all you depressives, let's try to keep this topic on the happier side of depression!

I was wondering how your depression has been for those that have gotten out past session three or so and if you've seen any changes? When I initially started, like a lot of things, I was totally gung ho! Got into exercising, quit smoking and drinking, eating great, journaling and relaxing. Well I've slipped a little (basically not doing any of that!), and the dark side has made itself known once again. And yes, I know, logic would say get back on track and I'll probably get those same results back! But if you're a true depressive, you'll know that you just don't do that. You have to first implode, destroy yourself, go on a depressive bender for a bit and hit rock bottom and say ok, I'm full of depression, I need to go in the other direction.

I just seem to only have an endurance for healthy things for about 2 mos, and then no matter what, something shows up and sends me in a downward spiral. Work is the biggest monster, I'm in a highly stressful part of the software development industry so there's a lot of demands, a lot of criticality with timelines, and a lot of lousy managers. Anyway, that's always out there, then there's the home life with balancing time for me and family and that can be stressful too. Then, by the time I get to myself, I'm a little exhausted, overwhelmed and that's when I'm my weakest and that dark cloud shows up and I succumb.

I'll jump on and off Cymbalta (medication) b\c that really neutralizes my brain juices, but it sometimes wreaks havoc with side affects, but I get the best results mentally.

So, I was just curious about everyone else's experiences out there and wanted to see how it's going. Has anyone made it?! Really beat depression?! If so, please list in about two sentences or less about how you did so I can do it overnight!

(kidding of course

)

Thanks for your feedback!

Charlie Brown · Post by **Charlie Brown** » Sat Jul 05, 2008 12:55 pm

Hey there zempath,

My major source of depression lately has been work. I chuckled when you said lousy managers

. How's this for lousy: I actually have to ask my manager--who, in all fairness, is nice as a person--to go to the bathroom?

I kid you not. They do this because they are worried about "the numbers" and proper coverage of incoming calls. I am in my early 40s and I have to ask permission to go to the can?

Needless to say I have been sending out my resume like mad to get away from this bs and other incredible negativities at this job.

I can tell when I am depressed and when I am sad. You just know your own body and emotions. My depression, while may have a chemical/hereditary connection to Mom who had depression, will also come in cycles. Thankfully the depression is always mild. I have come to realize my depression is brought on by unhappy situations (like this work/bathroom stuff.) When I feel good, I am doing something I enjoy, etc. depression for me is only a word in the dictionary. But when I have bad situations, displeasured thoughts about the situation, and my opinions are contrary to what is going on--then depression returns.

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:04 am

I too am curious how anyone has gotten over depression. I scare myself crazy when i am depressed. I say what if i get so depressed etc. . . or what if i am always depressed and it never goes away?? Those negative thoughts OF COURSE make my anxiety flare up and i get super panicy. But i feel i'd rather be panicy than depressed. I dont take any meds besides Ativan because SSRI's seem to make me feel worse. . . in a couple weeks i will be seeing an herbalist and i have positive feelings about it. I really hope it helps me.Its especially hard to not feel depressed when i am home a lot and right now have a flu so i cant get out because i need to stay in bed. and really, what is the diff between mild, moderate and severe depression?? when i am depressed i feel very hopeless like it wont go away and it is hard to get out of that state and i lose interest in things and don't know what to do with myself.I have no idea of that is moderate or severe. I hope it is not severe because that would scare me even more.

Enlightened · Post by **Enlightened** » Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:02 pm

Great News- You can, not only manage depressive episodes, but you can also get healed and delivered from depression !

Would you like to hear my experience?

I am a Christian.

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:12 pm

I would!!

Barb G. · Post by **Barb G.** » Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:09 pm

Holly, Enlightened is a good one to listen to. She helped me. Although I had a bad day yesterday and now you can see by the time, I'm not sleeping as I should be. I do hope I'll be better once I get back to bed and wake up again to start the day. I ate chocolate before going to bed and I know that had something to do with my bad day. I get depression from chocolate especially if I eat it the very last thing. You'd think I'd know better by now!

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:11 pm

Thanks Barb. I want to hear enlightens story! ! I too am up late. Its 3am and and am feeling very uneasy. .

Enlightened · Post by **Enlightened** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:41 am

Holly-

My experience is a little long but I will try to shorten it...

I do believe that Jesus Christ still heals today and I have seen him heal others countless times as well as myself... Just watch the 700 Club or Benny Hinn and you will see this for yourself...

There are numerous accounts in the bible where Jesus would come into a town and every sick person and mentally ill person would come to him and He would Heal them ALL!...For He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon HIM and with HIS stripes we are HEALED (Isaiah 53:5, I Pet 2:24, Psalms 103:2, Psalms 107:20)

Back in 2000, I came to the grips with the fact that I had Bipolar Depression mostly due to the racing thoughts in my brain... all my siblings have the illness which was passed down through my father.

I asked the Lord to heal me on a lunch break and by 2pm I get up to go on break and when I sit on the couch I hear the Holy Spirit say "How's that"... all of the racing had stopped

... before this point, I could actually feel something moving in my brain... wierd but true... but at that point... it was all gone.... Thank You Jesus!

So at this point I thought I was healed for good...

Yet I would still have suicidal thoughts every week and have crying spells every week from around 1998 until just before the program... it was bad... I just wanted to go home and be with the Lord.... (now I can laugh about it, but then it wasn't so funny )...

Well, in 2007, the Holy Spirit nudged me when I saw the Lucinda Bassett informercial to get the program... and I'm thinking "who me?"... I delay the process because of the expense... I tried to bid on ebay...etc. etc.. a long story short my depression starts to get worse and worse along with my mania... which I really did not know that it was mania....

So by Christmas 2007, I get the program... at this point I was willing to do any and everything that program recommended that I do to get some sort of relief... I not only purchased tapes off of ebay but I also enrolled in the on-line version of Midwestlife...(a true blessing)...

The first free except on Lucinda's cite spoke to getting rid of all negative thoughts and replacing these with what is good and true...
Within the first week it felt like 80-95% of the burden was lifted off of my shoulders...
Compassionate Self Talk works wonders!

I also confronted anything negative between me and God... (i.e. How can you love me God if you let this happen, How can you be good, if this is going on , etc, etc... but No, I had to make a concrete decision to BELIEVE everything that the scriptures say about God and his person...God is GOOOOD, God IS LOVE, God IS Faithful, He IS on my side, He IS for me, He DOES LOVE Me....etc. etc.)

Week after week with the program, the Holy Spirit would reveal another area of my life that I need to address or change...

Then, the Lord led me to research alternative therapy means for Bipolar Manic Depression.. (see my comment on the other post entitled "Manic Depression")... I got books on all three alternative therapy approaches to manic depression, namely: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Family Focused Therapy and Interpersonal Social Rythym Therapy...

I keep and daily reviewed a journal of all the positive thought confessions that we are taught to do in Lesson 3 Compassionate Self Talk... well I have also added journal entries that correspond to the information that I have learned from all of the books and this program...

In addition, the Lord has lead me to review a list of His Names every morning along with a list of who I am in Christ....daily.... I have posted these in the Spiritual section entitled "Know Your God and Be Encouraged" and "Know Your Self and Be Encouraged"...

So more and more as I researched and observed my actions, I began to see that I still had the illness... I was thinking that maybe the Lord would have me to keep this sickness, learn how to maintain balance in my life despite the illness and learn to have compassion for others... But low and behold, during my daily prayer sessions with the Lord, the manifest presence would show up real strong during February of this year and in a sense I felt that he was saying "don't move" It was like He was performing surgery on me.... Well after about two weeks of deep basking in His Presence... I went out on a group lunch with a lot of people... Prior to this time, I typically had observed that on such social outings I would start a manic episode... excessive talking, excessive laughing, spining, spinning spinning...(this is the only way I can explain it)... but this time it did not happen.... I thought "wow, am I healed?"... so I just waited for the next event where I would typically go manic or depressive... and it did not happen... I waited for over a month or two before I told any one.... I'M HEALED!

Jesus Christ Has HEALED Me!!!

It has been four months now without a manic episode or a depressive episode... The Lord has TRULY HEALED ME.... It is such an AWESOME feeling... I am not the same person... it's so amazing.... AMAZING GRACE!

My mother and I just sit and marvel at the wonderful work the Lord has done... OMG!

My suggestion to you is first just simply ask the Lord to heal you... don't be anxious about it... and wait for him to do the work...(give him time and space)... but at the same time you have to make a commitment to yourself to Love yourself, the Lord, your neighbor and your enemies... Whatever the Holy Spirit tells you to do with respect to this time of healing (i.e. getting your sleep schedule to a consistent 8-9 hour regimen {going to bed before 12am ... manics have a tendency to stay up all night on the internet or whatever which makes things worse... take your bath, drink your milk, put on Lucinda's relaxation tape and put yourself to bed... yes, everynight}, eating right, drinking your water, etc, etc...) you have to cooperate and Believe....

I would really recommend purchasing one of the books for Manic Depression that cover any of the therapies that I have listed above... you will gain a better understanding of what's going on in your body along with the illness... the Key is to KNOW THYSELF : when I am manic, I feel like this; when I am depressive, I feel like this; this is what I am going to do when I start to feel manic or depressive; these are the things that I am going to cut out of my life; these are the things that I am going to add....

Another Key is to GO SLOW... lower your expectations... applaud the baby steps...yes, baby steps.... GRADUAL CHANGE is the BEST CHANGE.... Nothing FAST for Manics... this is not good for a person with this illness, it only triggers another manic episode ... Finally, don't do too many things all at once, too much change is not good, it spurs on yet another manic episode....

I wish you all the best on your journey... give it some time... Relax...Take it slow... Everything is going to be alright...

Peace,