Another insight!

[NinjaFrodo]

So i feel compelled to write another note. This one is about being with other people on a social level. For years and years I have been pretty much withdrawn from people. I would spend most of my time doing activities by myself and avoiding hanging out or even calling people. It may have come off as me being rude or not caring about those people (friends and family). When in reality I was afraid. I never ment to be rude or to ignore people.

There are a few diffrent aspects to this social issue.I have had alot of anxiety, I constantly feel like i need to rush everything, I've been afraid of waiting and I'd be really afraid that if i hungout with the other person that I wouldn't have anything to talk about. I honestly felt like i had to prepare topics or even some kinda speech before going to hangout with people. Then i would feel discouraged and avoid people and feel lonely. That just sucks and after a long weekend (5 days long), hanging out with some really good friends I've come to realize that i have anxiety regardless of if i'm with people or not but that i'm able to distract myself from my anxiety more now when i'm with people.

What does this mean? This means that i'm definately more interested in hanging out with my friends.

[Guest]

I also felt bad because I wasn't able to share in all the joy and excitement of all my other friends when hanging out but thats just part of the anxiety and depression. It numbs your emotions and thats ok, my emotions will come back on their own. I can't force it and I now know that I don't have to feel ashamed about it.


Mike