Acceptance (Interactive)....Very Important...Please read

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:24 pm

Ok I've gone through the program a few times...Once completely and a few mini times and i'm going through it again and I've realized something this time around...its called Acceptance.

The thing that keeps our anxiety alive and kicking is that we are constantly at war with it...and war or fighting rather doesn't end until the other side is knocked out or dead...I'm sorry but anxiety is not going to die!!! We already know that what we are feeling is brought on by thoughts which cause chemical reactions in the body...Our body is trying to fight/flee from this big bad thing called Anxiety...What happens when we don't fight/flee? If you get to spend time with someone you really enjoy being with and are comfortable with...do you get those symptoms? Does the person get all nasty with you? Probabbly not...So why not get comfortable with the fact that you do have anxiety? You aren't a defective robot...You're a human...act like one...have some faults!!!

So as for the interactive part....I'd like to ask whoever is intrested...Accept some of your faults and give reasoning why you deserve to accept them. I'll start.

I've started the program 4 years ago and I still have anxiety but of course I have it...I've had this problem for 14 years and I've been fighting it for a long time and I know that i'm taking the time and effort to get better and thats all i can ask from myself.

I can read the same paragraph 4 times and still not understand...It's a limitation of mine and I have it because I tell myself that it doesn't make sense and that it is too hard and so it is no wonder why i can't read...look at what i'm telling myself...again I know i'm working on it and eventually it'll get easier.

Sometimes I say stupid things that make no sense and I embarass myself infront of others...I say stupid things because I'm feeling spacy and bewildered and so what...maybe i can at least make some people laugh...and if i lose friends from this thats alright too...the friends that matter are the ones that stick around dispite how dumb you may appear.

Mike

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:46 pm

Oh and another one...

I'm self-absorbed but i'm not ashamed of it. I'm feeling this way and not focusing on other people because I'm suffering..Anxiety and Depression is like a big anvil that landed on my toe and it is only normal to focus on ourselves when we are suffering. This doesn't mean i'm a bad person...it just means that i'm suffering and I'm not always going to be like this and i'm working on changing this part of myself...what is there to be ashamed about?

Mike

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:02 pm

Interesting- After my third time thru the program I came to an acceptance over the fact that I'm a work in progress and I'm ok with that. I wonder if this happens to everyone who has gone thru it a few times?? I don't feel like I am fighting anything anymore. I've made a lot of improvement but not 100%, and I'm ok with that too and will just keep forging ahead with new things to improve.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:12 pm

I'm not sure how often this happens but it tends to happen. I myself didn't get it all the first time around or even my 3rd, 4th or 5th attempt. However, I've noticed that with each attempt it get a bit stronger and more closer to being the person i want to be.

It's like a child who first starts to walk...he might not do it perfectly the first time or even the second time but with every attempt he gets better and better at it and his muscles get stronger and stronger...Same with us...every attempt we make our mental muscle gets stronger and stronger and we get closer and closer to our goal of who we want to be.

You could get to 40% of achieving your goal the first time and then maybe 15% the next time and 15% the time after that but each time you are getting closer and closer to becoming who you want to be and realistically 70% is not bad at all...this isn't always the case, only an example. I wouldn't be suprised if most of the people who have found success with this program went through it more than once.

Mike

CindyRu · Post by **CindyRu** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:36 pm

Thanks Mike...you said that rather well and it made me realize that this is what it's all about. "Acceptance"...we are who we are...with all of our faults...and it's really ok! You've really given me something to think about...

I'm a perfectionist and not just for myself. I have high standards and I expect everyone to meet them. Of course it's no surprise that I have high standards - my entire childhood was one chaotic mess. Now as an adult, I have tried to make everything perfect so there will be no chaos to deal with! Through this program though I have come to realize that chaos is ok and that perfection is just an illusion. I accept that my life is not perfect and that it won't ever be. I also accept that I will occasionally still get caught up in the illusion that I must have perfection to feel ok.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 4:00 pm

Fantastic...You know it took me 4 years of going through the program to come to this realization...I'm glad that i can share this with you

It makes a huge diffrence when going through the program...which i've found in comparisson with the other times i've gone or attempted to go through it.

I can completely relate to the perfectionist attitude. I was really bad before i started the program then I got better and better with it but sometimes it creeps up...depending on the situation and you can probabbly agree with me on this one...its frustrating and full of alot of dissapointment but we are both working on it

so its alright...I also wanted to say one thing with the chaos and perfectionism

...Through Chaos we find opportunity...through perfectionism we do not....I just made that one up and I'm totally using that for the obsessive thinking lesson...Sweeet!!!

Mike

derfy · Post by **derfy** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 4:43 pm

Hello Mike:
Oh my! You've come such a long way since I first read your posts in January and Feb. (etc)of 2007. You've calmed down a lot.
You are so compassionate now and helpful.
You were helpful then but in such a productive way now.
I was glad to read your posts again when you began posting regularly again.
Keep up the good work.
You are doing well.
Thanks for sharing.
MaryJane

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 5:27 pm

Why thank you Cornflower.

Yes I believe when i was posting in the past it was 90% on an intellectual level as if I was trying to solve a puzzle but that isn't how you do it. There are feelings involved as well and you need to show the person that you understand how they're feeling more than show them that you know how to solve a puzzle. I believe This accepting thing started off with replacing the negative thoughts on paper and became how i talked to other people...i'm accepting them as well and then thats when they really open up and are willing to accept my words. I couldn't do that so much in the past because I couldn't accept myself and alot of the emotions that i had...i was still trying to supress them.

I'm really greatful that you find my posts helpful as well

Mike

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Fri Aug 29, 2008 5:45 pm

Ninja- Sounds like you're coming to a lot of insights on yourself. I had originally planned on going thru the program a few times and am so glad I did. Each time gave me more insight and I saw more progress. Well worth it, as it seems to be for you to.

CindyRu · Post by **CindyRu** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 1:02 am

Something else that I see here is that it's ok if you have to go through this program a couple of times...I realize now that there is a lot of information to take in and perhaps taking it slow is the better course of action. I am impatient sometimes and like to get things done...but with this I guess I need to take my time and do it right for me!