I'm new to the program and forum and was thrilled to have found something to help me feel better. Last night I finally tried to explain what was happening to me to my husband of 30 years and was met with rolling eyes and a "what's next" kind of reaction.
How do you explain this to your spouse? How can we help them understand the hell we are going through? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
His reaction has thrown me into a depression.
Thanks in advance,
Lea
Unsupportive Spouses
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Guest
Lea,
Sometimes those closest to us are not the one's that understand. You may need to find a buddy or trust those here on the site that have an overwhelming amount of support and great advise.
Hang in there and don't give up and remember you are your safe person. Love and trust yourself, and follow the audio and workbook.
You'll be ok,
Scott
Sometimes those closest to us are not the one's that understand. You may need to find a buddy or trust those here on the site that have an overwhelming amount of support and great advise.
Hang in there and don't give up and remember you are your safe person. Love and trust yourself, and follow the audio and workbook.
You'll be ok,
Scott
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Guest
Lea,
I'm so sorry he reacted that way. I too have an unsupportive spouse. He is wonderful in so many ways, but this he just doesn't get. He is so laid back, never lets anything upset him. In ways, I wish I were more like him, although I do feel, I am a much more compassionate person. If he will listen to the {I will be there for you} tape, let him do so. But sometimes we have to try very hard, not to let it affect us in a bad way, not let it upset us so, and find our support in other places. I have a very supportive mom and I have found support here.
I am religious, and also you can pray that he will be more supportive, but even more importantly, that you will react to him not being supportive in a better way. To not let it upset you, although I know that is hard, but just be determined that you will get thru this, and you will be a stronger person for it. I wish you the best on your journey to recovery, and if you need some support, I will be glad to listen.
One way I have explained it to friends, is that if you lost your child in a store, the panic you begin to feel, the longer you can't find them, that is what I was feeling 24/7. Thankfully I can say, I no longer feel this way. I have completed the program and I am doing well. I have been blessed. You can do this too.
Your New Friend
Angla
I'm so sorry he reacted that way. I too have an unsupportive spouse. He is wonderful in so many ways, but this he just doesn't get. He is so laid back, never lets anything upset him. In ways, I wish I were more like him, although I do feel, I am a much more compassionate person. If he will listen to the {I will be there for you} tape, let him do so. But sometimes we have to try very hard, not to let it affect us in a bad way, not let it upset us so, and find our support in other places. I have a very supportive mom and I have found support here.
I am religious, and also you can pray that he will be more supportive, but even more importantly, that you will react to him not being supportive in a better way. To not let it upset you, although I know that is hard, but just be determined that you will get thru this, and you will be a stronger person for it. I wish you the best on your journey to recovery, and if you need some support, I will be glad to listen.
One way I have explained it to friends, is that if you lost your child in a store, the panic you begin to feel, the longer you can't find them, that is what I was feeling 24/7. Thankfully I can say, I no longer feel this way. I have completed the program and I am doing well. I have been blessed. You can do this too.
Your New Friend
Angla
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Guest
Thanks so much Scott and Angla, you have hit the nail on the head, both of you. Scott, you are right....I am the only "safe" person I need. I don't need to rely on him like that.
Angla...I am a Christian. Hubby is actually an elder at our Church. Yet one of the most non-compassionate men I know. Probably because I know him so well.
I have to do this for me! I have to do this....not have him help me do this. I feel so needy, so lonely and so lost. As if I'm drowning and his hand is just there...just out of reach. And he doesn't see or hear me.
This 24/7 physical reaction has made me realize what it really is. I just need to do the program. Thanks so much for posting and so quickly too. Knowing I can come here at any time is such a help.
I'm off to listen to my relaxation cd before Church tonight. I'll check in tomorrow. Thanks again and blessings to all who share.
Lea
Angla...I am a Christian. Hubby is actually an elder at our Church. Yet one of the most non-compassionate men I know. Probably because I know him so well.
I have to do this for me! I have to do this....not have him help me do this. I feel so needy, so lonely and so lost. As if I'm drowning and his hand is just there...just out of reach. And he doesn't see or hear me.
This 24/7 physical reaction has made me realize what it really is. I just need to do the program. Thanks so much for posting and so quickly too. Knowing I can come here at any time is such a help.
I'm off to listen to my relaxation cd before Church tonight. I'll check in tomorrow. Thanks again and blessings to all who share.
Lea
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Guest
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Guest
I cant even get my husband to listen to "I Will Always Be There For You." Whats up with that? This sounds bad but, in a way, I wish he had a little anxiety so he could do a little better at understanding. He pretends to listen but all he really wants is to talk about is him! Im trying to remember session 4 about expectations. Should I not expect him to at least try to act supportive and help me with simple things like bathing our child when I am overwhelmed? This has caused me much bitterness. Divorce has even become an option because of it. Help!
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Guest
That's where I am Twiggy. I feel so abandoned and alone in every other issue in our life so why am I so surprised he wouldn't care about this. The cold fact is, he just doesn't care.
I think we need to start being a little (or maybe a lot) selfish. We need to start being better to ourselves. We need to be the one person we can count on. Mind you, I'm saying this to myself!
Keep posting.
Lea
PS Anyone want to meet for chats during the day, let me know.
I think we need to start being a little (or maybe a lot) selfish. We need to start being better to ourselves. We need to be the one person we can count on. Mind you, I'm saying this to myself!
Keep posting.
Lea
PS Anyone want to meet for chats during the day, let me know.