Hi Neighbor,
My heart and prayer go out to you and your entire family. Dealing with death of a loved one is one of the most difficult things we will ever do in our lives.
Yes, what you are experiencing are signs of anxiety and the depression that follows such an experience. However, I agree with another post here that you should get those physical symtoms checked out to make sure that there is nothing physically wrong with you.
In fact the grief and sense of loss that many often feel is so overwhelming and dangerous that we really need the support that other loved ones and dear friends can provide.
My mother died in late 1994, and even today I have trouble coping with that loss. It seems that the hurt and pain never really goes away. When it happened, I was so devastated and upset with God, that I put on the boxing gloves and had an all out fight with God for taking my mom. There were times that, during the wake, if it were not for the loving and timely hugs that I received, that I thought I would die. It hurts so very much. I also agree that you and your family should either visit with your Pastor or get grief counseling.
I used to belong to a true New Testiment Philadelphia style church of brothers, sisters, moms, and dads that would rise to such occasions to surround those that suffered such a loss with their unconditional and never ending love. I had to move at that time and that was before my moms death, to be closer to my mom. I really miss that little church family. I wish all churches were as united in the sense of purpose and love.
I pray that you and your family surround yourselves with people that love you just because you are you, laugh with you when you experience humor, cheer you on when you have successes, and cry with you in your darkest hours. The internet is a great place and resource for staying in touch with friends, family, shopping and is a great resource library of information, but you need the physical contact that other loved ones can bring to help you along this terrible rough patch of your life. It's the physical and emotional part, that makes humankind so unique. We crave and need that physical contact of true fellowship.
What you are going through is very tough and could be the most traumatic time of your life, but if you seek out your true friends and God's help, you can make it to another day. He will not abandon nor forsake you, and you are not walking this walk alone. Try setting the phrase Don't Let Me Walk This Road Alone in this community's search or in the goggle search and see what you come up with.
Here's my contribution:
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I was touched by this very song when my mom died. I hope that it will help as much as I was helped for make it to another day, one day at a time.
I want to pray for you, I really hope that you and others don't mind if I do.
Heavenly Father, Abba God, Daddy God. Incline your ear to hear and answer your humble servants prayer. Daddy God, I lift up this broken heart of our dear friend Misty. I don't know his or her real name, but You do Daddy, because you made all of us. It is with a humble and contrite heart I pray.
Daddy God, may Your Love, mercy and loving kindness, be ever present in their every day walk, and my your strong arm be a shelter of safety and security, comfort and consolation to Misty and all of her/his family, as they struggle to move forward from this very painful time in their lives. We don't know or understand why all these things happen,we only know that You love all your children, and have taken this child to be in your loving arms until the day that they shall be reunited.
Lord, we thank you so very much for the sacrifice that both You and Your Son made for all of us. We also prayer that Your comforting Holy Spirit fill Misty's home and provide their family all that they need to return to the Joy that you have in store for all of us, even in our darkest hour.
Daddy God, I pray that these prayers rise up to you as a sweet fragrance that pleasing and acceptable to. For Your honor and for Your Glory. I raise this sacrifice of praise and set them before You and Your precious son, in whom I trust will serve as my advocate before You.
Daddy God, I pray that if in anyway I am guilty of anything that may offend You, that You extend Your hand of mercy, friendship and loving kindness and forgive me.
All these things I pray in precious Son's holy name, Yeshua.
Friends, I pray that you all forgive me if I offend any here, and forgive me if you find that this post is or seems long to you.
TC and Hugs, In His Love,
Gman5256