Scared of being alone

cosmicpixie · Post by **cosmicpixie** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 2:24 am

My fiance does shift work and is being moved to the weekend night shift next week. I work week day days, so now we're on completely opposite schedules and will not get to see each other much for the next four months until another shift rotation. This is sending my anxiety through the roof. I am scared to be alone because when I'm alone I start having all the "what if" thoughts and I obsess about my anxiety, which brings my panics attacks back. Then I can't sleep at night because I'm worried something will happen to my fiance at work. Is there anyone out there who has a spouse in police or the military? How do you cope with being alone all the time? They say that 60% of relationships in the police field fail within the first year and I don't want us to become that statistic.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 12:24 pm

I am also having this issue right now. My husband travels for work, and I can't tell him that when he's gone, I often spiral into an abyss.

When he's here, I feel like everything will be ok. When he's not, I have no feeling of control. I'm actually thinking of asking my 72 year old mom to do "sleepovers". Ugh.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:23 pm

I am married to a military police and he is gone 14 hours a day. I feel so alone and scared when he is gone because I start to worry and get extremely depressed and end up sitting on the couch paralyzed by my thoughts. I just got a job, so I think that will help with the time we are apart, but I really want to get to the point where I am comfortable being alone. God Bless! Kelly

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 19, 2009 7:37 am

I too fear being alone even with my kids here my husband is like my anchor and makeds me feel safe and have less anxiety and whens hes gone I get very bad anxiety and panic attacks I haven't been alone in like 3 weeks since my terrible anxiety started either spending time with my mom or cousin. My counselor thinks because i dont feel safe because of past experiences and I should scan the room and see if there is really any danger and also do things that make me feel safe like having the phone by me or checking the doors might help but dunno...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:02 pm

LauraleeJade,
Did you just start having the anxiety/panic attacks? I ask because when I first started having mine-I WAS TERRIFIED of being alone! So many negative thoughts would just bombard me-I really thought I was losing my mind. It is very important to stay in therapy-it WILL get better! I have learned so much from the Anxiety/Depression CD's and this website, so I must tell you-work the program, really listen to what they are saying and do the homework and keep posting to this web-site because you are not alone and you are not going to lose your mind and God bring resoration to you! He is already doing it for me-and you are as important to Him as I am! He loves you He loves you He loves you!!! Blessings, Kelly

New Stace · Post by **New Stace** » Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:14 pm

Kelly I have to tell you that your post has given me some uplifeing feelings that I will one day be okay and be able to be alone and not go crazy and fall into this dark hole of depression! I am very religious and I pray God will help me get back to normal one day! Does anyone out there get depressed when they are alone and I don't mean sad an lonely I mean depressed to where your scared and nothing matters you feel pointless and everything in life feels pointless??? I NEED advice! Please help!!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:02 pm

ashyp,
I used to be SO depressed that I would literally hide under the covers ALL day and night. One day, in my misery, I put all of my pill bottles on the table and I told God "If you don't want me to do this, then do something because I just want to DIE!" Right after that, this energy hit me and something told me to take a shower, which I did. I felt SO much better and I was able to put those pill bottles back up because I knew God was telling me that wasn't His will for me. It sounds to me as if you should be seeing a counselor to help you deal with this depression-are you currently seeing one? Believe it or not, that does help. But please don't quit posting to this web-site, there are many people who feel the same as you and there are many people who have felt that way and have overcome those feelings. You are going to be alright. God loves you so much and He wants to heal you. If you would like to talk more you could private message me-it sounds like you need some support. I will pray for you. Blessings, Kelly

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:38 pm

I'm also afraid of being alone. I'm not married or don't have kids but I just finished school and would like to get my own place, but I'm scared to come home to an empty house and to sleep alone. I know it was mentioned in session 1 or 2 that we feel like we need a safe person or a safe place and this is what I am going through. I need to realize that there is no such thing. It's all in my head. I think I also need to occupy more of my time up by getting a second job, taking dance lessons or pottery lessons etc, or maybe take a night class. Anything to keep my mind busy and off the worrying.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:58 pm

To All,
First of all, I need each and every one of you to know that I care deeply for all of you...
I know what is like to be petrified...To be in such a state of fear, that you feel totally paralyzed...I have been there, and God used the program to help me overcome my intense fears...Try to remember that you are just scaring yourself...You are safe....God is with each and every one of you, so, you are not alone...He is watching over you, and has angels surrounding you....I only wish I had the power to take away all the fears, but, I don't...Don't give up...Jesus will help you in due season...He has not forsaken any of you...Here is a inspirational site that may be of consolation to some of you... Father's Love Letter-Video...I will be praying that each and every one of you overcome this fear...God Bless

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:22 am

i hate being alone even though if im with someone and they leave i feel so abandend and alone i begin to freak out and think what if this happends or he leaves me or any possiable situation i begin to freak because my mind is beginng to take over my fears