I just recently started this program and I am onto week three of the tapes. I have made a lot of progress so far and I don't know where I would be without Lucinda.
I have had episodic depression but have had an anxiety/panic disorder since I was a child. While away at college this past september, (my senior year) I completely fell apart. I was having up to six panic attacks a day, lost 25 pounds in 2 months, my parents were taking the five hour trip every weekend to come up and comfort me until my mother realized that I was having a nervous breakdown. Suicial thoughts were always on my mind, but as a Catholic I could never bring myself to create such an enormous sin.
Today, though I still have moments and episodes of anxiety, my depression has decreased drastically, I have gained 8 pounds, and am finishing school from home.
In session two, Lucinda says that there will come a time when we need to put ourselves in basically a disfunctional situation so we can allow our bodies to feel the body symptoms of panic/anxiety. While accepting these feelings, we are to use the skills we have learned thus far to talk ourselves out of a panic attack.
Today is my day. After a horrific 6 1/2 months, I am returning to my college campus for the next 2 days to try and face my demons. I leave in an hour and I feel exhilerated. I am bringing a close friend with me because this is such an enormous step and not one I am ready to face alone yet - but that does not make me a failure. The fact that I have pondered going back, contacted friends, made plans, and have packed a bag already shows my progress and determination to get better.
We can all get better and we will.
If we are on this website - that's our first step toward healing and recovery. I am proud of all of us.
Wish me luck!!
The end of anxiety begins today.
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Guest
Hi Goober25,
This is fantastic. I am so glad that you seem to focused all the positive things that have brought you to the point that you are ready to take such bold steps. I am sending you a super big hug,>:D< and telling you that we are all proud of you and of this fantastic progress report.
Your'e right we can will all get better.
There is no luck to this progress, there is your approach, the work you put into it and your positive sense of purpose to go along with your follow through.
Please get back to us to share further glowing progress you will continue to make.
This is fantastic. I am so glad that you seem to focused all the positive things that have brought you to the point that you are ready to take such bold steps. I am sending you a super big hug,>:D< and telling you that we are all proud of you and of this fantastic progress report.
Your'e right we can will all get better.
There is no luck to this progress, there is your approach, the work you put into it and your positive sense of purpose to go along with your follow through.
Please get back to us to share further glowing progress you will continue to make.
-
Guest
Dear Gman5256,
Thank you so much for your inspirational response. Not going to lie, I got choked up while I was reading it and began to cry when I re-read it. It means so much to me to know that someone, somewhere, is rooting me on and reminding me that I am not alone.
The trip up to my college was a major success.
Though I could sit here and describe my nerves/excitment/and some self-doubt, I am really only going to elaborate on how huge this stepping stone was for me and how grateful I am that Lucinda made this suggestion.
First of all, I made it upstate AND spent the night WITHOUT ONE SINGLE PANIC ATTACK! (I still cannot believe I did it!!) Upon arrival, I drove through the town, took in the scenery that while it seemed brand new, also brought back good and bad memories. Drove through the campus to remember what it felt like to be independent and living on my own. One of the most difficult parts was driving past the apartment building I lived in and where I fell apart. I parked across the street, examined the building, and looked at the windows that lead into my kitchen. Although I felt like I was in the twilight zone, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and reminded myself that all things happen for a reason and had I not been removed from school - who knows what kind of condition I would be in.
After looking at the building and doing my best to filter out the negative memories, I drove to the deli where I was meeting my friends (that I have not seen since October) for lunch. The moment I saw two of them, I ran toward them and just collapsed into their arms. I think we hugged, laughed, and cried for about five minutes. What a wonderful feeling to literally be in the arms of people who love, support, want to help, don't judge, and guide you.
After a wonderful lunch, my friends and I met up with even more friends. After a day of walking around in the sun, laughing, smiling, & reminising, 12 of us went out for a delicious dinner, and spent the rest of the night dancing and singing. Don't get me wrong, I was more mellow than I used to be, but that's simply because I have grown from this horrific crisis.
I made it through the night (even without the help of the relaxation tape to guide me to sleep), had breakfast with my two best friends, did some shopping and came back home.
I ran into trouble on the drive back home. It was very tough to say goodbye to my friends as they each departed one by one. I began to cry and felt alone all over again. I became so upset that I didn't realize I was thinking irrationally and negatively. Once I realized it, I reminded myself that I did not need an outside source for comfort. That I am my own safe person, that I just made an ENORMOUS accomplishment and that I will see my friends again soon. Though I had some body symptoms of a panic attack, reassuring myself with compassionate talk calmed me down and I felt better in about 30 minutes.
Sorry this response is so long!!!
Just had to update you and let you know how much this program has impacted my life!!!
Thank you so much for your inspirational response. Not going to lie, I got choked up while I was reading it and began to cry when I re-read it. It means so much to me to know that someone, somewhere, is rooting me on and reminding me that I am not alone.
The trip up to my college was a major success.
Though I could sit here and describe my nerves/excitment/and some self-doubt, I am really only going to elaborate on how huge this stepping stone was for me and how grateful I am that Lucinda made this suggestion.
First of all, I made it upstate AND spent the night WITHOUT ONE SINGLE PANIC ATTACK! (I still cannot believe I did it!!) Upon arrival, I drove through the town, took in the scenery that while it seemed brand new, also brought back good and bad memories. Drove through the campus to remember what it felt like to be independent and living on my own. One of the most difficult parts was driving past the apartment building I lived in and where I fell apart. I parked across the street, examined the building, and looked at the windows that lead into my kitchen. Although I felt like I was in the twilight zone, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and reminded myself that all things happen for a reason and had I not been removed from school - who knows what kind of condition I would be in.
After looking at the building and doing my best to filter out the negative memories, I drove to the deli where I was meeting my friends (that I have not seen since October) for lunch. The moment I saw two of them, I ran toward them and just collapsed into their arms. I think we hugged, laughed, and cried for about five minutes. What a wonderful feeling to literally be in the arms of people who love, support, want to help, don't judge, and guide you.
After a wonderful lunch, my friends and I met up with even more friends. After a day of walking around in the sun, laughing, smiling, & reminising, 12 of us went out for a delicious dinner, and spent the rest of the night dancing and singing. Don't get me wrong, I was more mellow than I used to be, but that's simply because I have grown from this horrific crisis.
I made it through the night (even without the help of the relaxation tape to guide me to sleep), had breakfast with my two best friends, did some shopping and came back home.
I ran into trouble on the drive back home. It was very tough to say goodbye to my friends as they each departed one by one. I began to cry and felt alone all over again. I became so upset that I didn't realize I was thinking irrationally and negatively. Once I realized it, I reminded myself that I did not need an outside source for comfort. That I am my own safe person, that I just made an ENORMOUS accomplishment and that I will see my friends again soon. Though I had some body symptoms of a panic attack, reassuring myself with compassionate talk calmed me down and I felt better in about 30 minutes.
Sorry this response is so long!!!
Just had to update you and let you know how much this program has impacted my life!!!
-
Guest
Reading your post was sooooooooo inspirational!!!!I cant tell you how proud I am of you! I have 100&% confidence that you will overcome this. You have such an awesome outlook. I can see you focus on all the positive progress you have made and do not dwell on any negative which is really essential when trying to overcome it because we will have set backs we just now have tools to handle them. We also are much more knowledgable about it. Keep me updated!! Give yourself A LOT of credit!!! You deserve it
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Guest
Hi Goober25 and Naustin,
I second that Naustin. I was fascinated as I read this story. Goober you showed so much strength. I could not help share in your joy. This story was so moving. Thank you for sharing this great story of facing up to fears, moving to overcome so many things that had to be bugging you, just floating through and rising to victory.
http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?2797
http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?2365
You go girl! I am glad to be part of your cheering section.
I don't know if you've seen several of my other posts. I am really big into CCM and one of the great things I found was a Steven Curtis Chapman player that plays all his albums and all the songs with them. As I was reading this thread it reminded me that we are all soldiers. In his album, For the sake of the call, there is a song titled: When you are a soldier Please go here and select that song and you'll see what I mean. Or listen to the whole album, it is so good, you will be encouraged by every song. I promise:
http://www.stevencurtischapman...thesakeofthecall.htm
To check on the rest of his library of albums and songs just click the go back to the music page.
I second that Naustin. I was fascinated as I read this story. Goober you showed so much strength. I could not help share in your joy. This story was so moving. Thank you for sharing this great story of facing up to fears, moving to overcome so many things that had to be bugging you, just floating through and rising to victory.
http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?2797
http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?2365
You go girl! I am glad to be part of your cheering section.
I don't know if you've seen several of my other posts. I am really big into CCM and one of the great things I found was a Steven Curtis Chapman player that plays all his albums and all the songs with them. As I was reading this thread it reminded me that we are all soldiers. In his album, For the sake of the call, there is a song titled: When you are a soldier Please go here and select that song and you'll see what I mean. Or listen to the whole album, it is so good, you will be encouraged by every song. I promise:
http://www.stevencurtischapman...thesakeofthecall.htm
To check on the rest of his library of albums and songs just click the go back to the music page.
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Guest
Hi Goober25,
I heard this song from SCC's extensive library this morning. The song is called Fingerprints of God. I had never heard it before today. Here are the lyrics:
http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?31
You can hear the song here:
http://www.stevencurtischapman...radio/speechless.htm
See if he doesn't leave you speechless as you ponder these beautiful words, thoughts and arrangements.
Sweetie, you are a child of God, and He loves you just the way you are. I am so glad and proud of all the progress you have made and pray for God's continue help and support as you continue to make progress and achieve many successes.
I heard this song from SCC's extensive library this morning. The song is called Fingerprints of God. I had never heard it before today. Here are the lyrics:
http://www.klove.com/lyrics/lyrics.asp?31
You can hear the song here:
http://www.stevencurtischapman...radio/speechless.htm
See if he doesn't leave you speechless as you ponder these beautiful words, thoughts and arrangements.
Sweetie, you are a child of God, and He loves you just the way you are. I am so glad and proud of all the progress you have made and pray for God's continue help and support as you continue to make progress and achieve many successes.