What I mean is, how much of what happens is down to us and the way we percieve it? It took quite a while for it to sink in that my anxiety and depression was down to me and the way I thought nothing else, no outside source.
I've just started readin Lucinda's book "Life without limits" and there as section in there about being Professionally satisfied.
It says this about your job
You are stimulated by what you do; you have drive and ambition,motivation, and a feeling of excitement about your career.
You are happy with your chosen field; you know where you are going and what your long-term goals are.
You feel excited to go to work and to do your work.
You feel good about the work you do, and you are proud to talk about it.
You have a strong sense that what you do matters, that your work is good and valuable.
She goes onto say if you can't say yes to these above statements perhaps you should change your career, I mentioned this to a psychologist friend she said this:
The job is neutral in all of this, it all depends on how you react to it. You have a choice every day: hate it or love it. You choose.
The job you hold is valuable to your boss and your customer. If it wasn't so you would not have the job. The fact that you are doing the job to your best ability makes you valuable. happiness, excitement, stimulation, feelings all do with your attitude. Adjust your attitude and your answers will change. Or find a new job.
So I'm lost as to what to think about life, is everything in life down to us and our attitude?
HOW MUCH OF WHAT HAPPENS IN THE WORLD IS DOWN TO THE WAY WE THINK
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NIRELANDGUY
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Tue May 15, 2007 2:57 pm
Chuck Swindoll said once that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of our reaction to it.
Lucinda talks about external and internal forces.
So - I guess it's both! We can only control ourselves though - not what happens around us...not really. Are we looking at the world through smudged dark glasses? With blinders? Or what?
And just because a job is necessary and important...and even if we do it well...doesn't mean that it's the one for us! Our jobs are where we most likely spend most of our waking hours - so I can see that if we don't feel great or even good about it then it can become a source of stress, anxiety, and depression for us. It's not so much the JOB that's the problem...but our reaction to it.
I filter everything that happens around me and every interaction that I have through my life experiences, emotional state, and intelligence on the subject. You do the same, but obviously we'll see things differently (to a degree at least) because we have different backgrounds, experiences, etc. to base the current situations/experiences on.
I think I'm going round and round, but I do believe that the way we think does determine how we perceive the world.
Best to you,
Dawn
Lucinda talks about external and internal forces.
So - I guess it's both! We can only control ourselves though - not what happens around us...not really. Are we looking at the world through smudged dark glasses? With blinders? Or what?
And just because a job is necessary and important...and even if we do it well...doesn't mean that it's the one for us! Our jobs are where we most likely spend most of our waking hours - so I can see that if we don't feel great or even good about it then it can become a source of stress, anxiety, and depression for us. It's not so much the JOB that's the problem...but our reaction to it.
I filter everything that happens around me and every interaction that I have through my life experiences, emotional state, and intelligence on the subject. You do the same, but obviously we'll see things differently (to a degree at least) because we have different backgrounds, experiences, etc. to base the current situations/experiences on.
I think I'm going round and round, but I do believe that the way we think does determine how we perceive the world.
Best to you,
Dawn
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~*schnauzermom*~
- Posts: 183
- Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2005 9:24 pm
I think so.So I'm lost as to what to think about life, is everything in life down to us and our attitude?
If I won 1 million dollars I would be VERY happy. To me that is more than I have!
To someone that is a millionaire, that probably will be perceived as a drop in the bucket.
If you like your job like you like your hobby then going to work everyday will be like a hobby. If you dread your job, then you will hate it. You can also look at someones "dream job" and shake your head is disbelief that they would actually enjoy it. We all have different things that hit our own sweet spots. Find your sweet spot, your niche, your passion. Without passion, without a positive attitude and positive outlook you are just fooling yourself in anything you do.
"Afterall, everybody only hears what he understands." by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
hi
I completely understand your confusion and agree with you! how can you decide when two conflicting statments are given.
As much as I loave sitting on the fence I have to say I think both have a point. Life is about balance and yes, it would be wonderful if we all jumped out of bed and went to work with huge smiles on our faces excited as hell but there would still be the odd day even in the best job that you wouldnt feel like going to work, it is work afterall, it doesnt matter how much you like it or how positive your perception is.
I think Lucinda is a little black and white with those statements and I think she is aiming more for all of us to be conscious of how much damage our jobs are doing on us and again like everything else encouraging us to change aspects of our lives that arent working.. I am lucky and do love my job a lot and I cannot say yes to many of the above, its still a job! on the other hand I believe that your perception towards a job completely stems with how you feel about yourself as does absolutley everything else.. that makes sense, 10% what happens to us and 90% reaction. I know I am a better person from this program just by controlling my reactions.. that says something!
In Panic to Power Lucinda states that with any decisions you must make one and trust yourself, this will enable you to begin to trust yourself naturally. I have had 36 jobs to date and this current one that I went to school for has lasted 2 years so far.. This job was logically good for me (high responsibility and high intellegence, ever changign..) and am trusting myself to stick with the decision.
The better I feel about myself throughout this program the more I love my job and feel happy and satisfied there. It is all about finding those statements deep down inside of you and modifying them into positives, It doesnt just all come together and happen the way Lucinda describes!
The average person has 5 careers in a life time! dont put so much pressure on it, just live be happy as much as possible each day and be thankful for the small things such as having a job.. but if you deep down feel that it will never feel better and your work triggers anxiety and depression perhaps it is time to begin working on that sector of life for the better!
I hope that this isnt too confusing.. the bottom line is life is balance, nothing is perfect but the way you look at it can be.
Goodluck! keep us posted!
I completely understand your confusion and agree with you! how can you decide when two conflicting statments are given.
As much as I loave sitting on the fence I have to say I think both have a point. Life is about balance and yes, it would be wonderful if we all jumped out of bed and went to work with huge smiles on our faces excited as hell but there would still be the odd day even in the best job that you wouldnt feel like going to work, it is work afterall, it doesnt matter how much you like it or how positive your perception is.
I think Lucinda is a little black and white with those statements and I think she is aiming more for all of us to be conscious of how much damage our jobs are doing on us and again like everything else encouraging us to change aspects of our lives that arent working.. I am lucky and do love my job a lot and I cannot say yes to many of the above, its still a job! on the other hand I believe that your perception towards a job completely stems with how you feel about yourself as does absolutley everything else.. that makes sense, 10% what happens to us and 90% reaction. I know I am a better person from this program just by controlling my reactions.. that says something!
In Panic to Power Lucinda states that with any decisions you must make one and trust yourself, this will enable you to begin to trust yourself naturally. I have had 36 jobs to date and this current one that I went to school for has lasted 2 years so far.. This job was logically good for me (high responsibility and high intellegence, ever changign..) and am trusting myself to stick with the decision.
The better I feel about myself throughout this program the more I love my job and feel happy and satisfied there. It is all about finding those statements deep down inside of you and modifying them into positives, It doesnt just all come together and happen the way Lucinda describes!
The average person has 5 careers in a life time! dont put so much pressure on it, just live be happy as much as possible each day and be thankful for the small things such as having a job.. but if you deep down feel that it will never feel better and your work triggers anxiety and depression perhaps it is time to begin working on that sector of life for the better!
I hope that this isnt too confusing.. the bottom line is life is balance, nothing is perfect but the way you look at it can be.
Goodluck! keep us posted!
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WantingMore
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:16 am
I do think that anything can be anxiety and fear producing when you are struggling with anxiety, negative thoughts, low self esteem, etc. I have found myself anxious about work a lot and have blamed the way I feel on work moral and negativity of others at work in the past. I still believe that these are factors, but you can choose to respond positively to less than perfect situations or attitudes. With that being said, I really struggle with whether or not a career, company, or position fits. I also have trouble relaxing, having fun, and really do not have hobbies. Ideally, I would like my career to be something that I am proud and passionate about, but the only thing that I have ever been sure that I am passionate about is helping other people - my thinking has always been that making people happy makes me happy - though now I wonder if this is part or the anxiety problem. Anyway, work decision is something that I think a lot of us struggle with, especially when we have gotten to the point that our internal anxiety has gotten out of control. I believe that a very large percentage comes down to how we think and we need to work on this and clearer thinking before we make any large life changes - if possible.
Hi! There is a fine book written by Max Lucado called "Cure for the Common Life" (Living in Your Sweet Spot) and a small workbook that goes along with it. We all have something in our job (career) that just brings on a sense of absoulute passion and joy. Out face will light up and we will have that ahhhhhh feeling when we are in that spot. Sometimes we find that through "pain". Maybe a confrontation by our boss. Accept it if you really feel it's an area that you've needed an "attitude" adjustment on. It will make you stronger in your passion. A genuine love of people and accepting them for who they are (that is not the same as accepting improper behavior or changing our own core belief system). Hope this helps. 
Hi,
I've just started lesson one and reading the childhoods that people with anxiety and depression have ie: families with reactive parents, lack of parents, alchohalism. I'm beginning to realize that, for me, it was just a matter of survival the first 12 years of my life and maybe now I'm just too afraid to be an adult and be happy, to give up the learned behavior that I felt ensured my survival. So focusing on the 10% of negativity and blowing it way out of proportion has just been a subconcsious survival technigue. I'm trying to go deep inside and face those fears. Fears of an infant. I believe this program can help me learn to build on the 90% of positive experiences that I've been ignoring.
I've just started lesson one and reading the childhoods that people with anxiety and depression have ie: families with reactive parents, lack of parents, alchohalism. I'm beginning to realize that, for me, it was just a matter of survival the first 12 years of my life and maybe now I'm just too afraid to be an adult and be happy, to give up the learned behavior that I felt ensured my survival. So focusing on the 10% of negativity and blowing it way out of proportion has just been a subconcsious survival technigue. I'm trying to go deep inside and face those fears. Fears of an infant. I believe this program can help me learn to build on the 90% of positive experiences that I've been ignoring.
Hi Kim:
I really felt connected when I read your post. Congratulations for starting to build a better you! I am on week 3/4 and know that my ocd is just a manifestation of anxiety from my childhood. My Father left at 4 and my mother dated many men and exposed us to drugs, alcohol, abuse, etc. etc. long story short I can finally from all my research understand that my past is my past and I can make my future the opposite. I see the light!
I would like to chat if you are ever interested, I would like to hear more about the book you are reading and your experiences. Please PM me if you get a chance!
Thanks for the post!
Best wishes,
I really felt connected when I read your post. Congratulations for starting to build a better you! I am on week 3/4 and know that my ocd is just a manifestation of anxiety from my childhood. My Father left at 4 and my mother dated many men and exposed us to drugs, alcohol, abuse, etc. etc. long story short I can finally from all my research understand that my past is my past and I can make my future the opposite. I see the light!
I would like to chat if you are ever interested, I would like to hear more about the book you are reading and your experiences. Please PM me if you get a chance!
Thanks for the post!
Best wishes,
Hi Dawn,
Well I don't know if anyone else had trouble in posting over the past few days, I did...was frustrating but not the end of the world. What I have realized is that the anxiety and depression has a great effect on our job performance. I own my own business and find that the anxiety prevents me from doing my job to the fullest..(though I don't beat myself up anymore) It's a struggle and takes a lot of effort to do most things. I do believe that it's up to us to make the necessary changes and take control. It's so hard to do. I have found the program to be very effective in trying to change the way I think. The most effective tape so far has been the expectation tape...that tape has helped me tremendously in changing the way I think, and of my expectations of not only myself but of others. I have also learned through the program that the key is in how we react to situations. We all face problems (big & small) everyday, things will happen that will upset us, but it's all in how we react to them. My problem is "the uneasy feeling" effort in most things I do, and worry, worry, worry. The program has somewhat helped me in these areas..I guess it's changing the way we think, reasoning with ourselves, and thinking positive....like Lucinda says IT'S an Addictive BAD HABIT, and will take time to change. Hope all is well with everyone...Happy New Year to ALL
Well I don't know if anyone else had trouble in posting over the past few days, I did...was frustrating but not the end of the world. What I have realized is that the anxiety and depression has a great effect on our job performance. I own my own business and find that the anxiety prevents me from doing my job to the fullest..(though I don't beat myself up anymore) It's a struggle and takes a lot of effort to do most things. I do believe that it's up to us to make the necessary changes and take control. It's so hard to do. I have found the program to be very effective in trying to change the way I think. The most effective tape so far has been the expectation tape...that tape has helped me tremendously in changing the way I think, and of my expectations of not only myself but of others. I have also learned through the program that the key is in how we react to situations. We all face problems (big & small) everyday, things will happen that will upset us, but it's all in how we react to them. My problem is "the uneasy feeling" effort in most things I do, and worry, worry, worry. The program has somewhat helped me in these areas..I guess it's changing the way we think, reasoning with ourselves, and thinking positive....like Lucinda says IT'S an Addictive BAD HABIT, and will take time to change. Hope all is well with everyone...Happy New Year to ALL
Originally posted by Prv31Mom:
Chuck Swindoll said once that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of our reaction to it.
Lucinda talks about external and internal forces.
So - I guess it's both! We can only control ourselves though - not what happens around us...not really. Are we looking at the world through smudged dark glasses? With blinders? Or what?
And just because a job is necessary and important...and even if we do it well...doesn't mean that it's the one for us! Our jobs are where we most likely spend most of our waking hours - so I can see that if we don't feel great or even good about it then it can become a source of stress, anxiety, and depression for us. It's not so much the JOB that's the problem...but our reaction to it.
I filter everything that happens around me and every interaction that I have through my life experiences, emotional state, and intelligence on the subject. You do the same, but obviously we'll see things differently (to a degree at least) because we have different backgrounds, experiences, etc. to base the current situations/experiences on.
I think I'm going round and round, but I do believe that the way we think does determine how we perceive the world.
Best to you,
Dawn