Help!! Need advice

GI822 · Post by **GI822** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 11:08 am

My boyfriend's brother came from Florida to his parent's house, they live 5 min from us for a visit. He had a drug problem and after rehab, he was sent to move to Florida to stay in a support group and away from this area and his friends, who also do/did drugs. He's been there for about a year and has been doing well.

He stopped over this afternoon to say goodbye. My boyfriend and his family had a great week with him while he was here. Now here is the problem! My boyfriend was asleep on the chair and his phone would ring every 30 min. My cell then ring and the caller ID said it was his brother. I woke him up to tell him his brother was on the phone but the phone hung up. My boyfiend got up and went outside to call him back. He came back in within 2 minutes and I asked what was wrong. He said his mom had his brother's phone and that his brother overdosed and had to be resussiated (sp?) and is now in the hospital down in the city. He quickly grabbed his shoes and keys and ran out the door.

I feel terrible because I have major issues with going down to the city and haven't been there in probably 2 years. I didn't want my boyfriend to drive because he is obviously so upset and I now I don't know what to do. I want to be there to support him but I'm afraid. I don't even know where the hospital is. Somewhere in downtown Philadelphia.

Now I'm like what if he dies or what if his family is dissapointed that I'm not there. I mean I've known them for 4 years. I feel so guilty now. I don't know what to do. Any advice?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 11:46 am

Hi GI822, Sorry to hear about your boyfriend's brother. You're in a tough spot since you're not ready to drive that far from home. Is there anyone who could drive you down there? Then you could be there to support your boyfriend and his family. It is so hard when you're suffering with this disorder and an emergency arises. If there is no one who can take you there, could you possibly concentrate on relaxing techniques and face the fear of driving there and try to do it? You are stronger than you may think right now. Sometimes I think these challenges arise to draw us out of our negativity and force us to face our fears head on out of our comfort zone. You may surprise yourself.

If you feel it is not possible, just keep in touch with your boyfriend as much as possible and let him know you are there for him.

I will be praying for you and for his brother.

Donna

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 11:50 am

Hi, Just wanted to add something...don't be so hard on yourself and worried about disappointing anyone. You are trying very hard to overcome this and you need to give yourself a lot of credit for all the work you are putting into yourself right now. If you can't get there it is not because you don't care, it's because you are trying with everything you've got right now to get well.

Donna

Angla · Post by **Angla** » Sun Aug 17, 2008 2:59 pm

Please don't beat yourself up. I had the same type of situation about 5 years ago. My dear father-in-law passed away. I panicked at the thought of flying. I told my husband how bad I felt and he completely understood, because he knew the struggle I was having with anxiety. He told his family I couldn't get out of work. Just explain to your boyfriend and keep calling him to show you do care about his brother. Hopefully he will understand the fears, pain and guilt your trying to deal with. I really hope it all works out. Suzzie