loneliness

lockdo · Post by **lockdo** » Sun Jan 11, 2009 1:16 pm

Sometimes, I don't no know if a relationship is the best thing for me. I am so used to being alone. How do you feel?

feelbetter · Post by **feelbetter** » Mon Feb 09, 2009 11:15 am

I personally don't like to be lonely, although I do like being alone sometimes.

Iris74 · Post by **Iris74** » Wed Mar 11, 2009 2:10 pm

<span class="ev_code_PURPLE">What would a relationship bring to you? Why would you like a relationship? What are the benefits?

Maybe asking those questions will help you clarify a bit.</span>

designkid · Post by **designkid** » Thu Apr 02, 2009 10:37 am

I've felt the same way. It's odd though since companionship is one of the big wants I have in life. However I'm used to being alone, doing my own thing, and I find sometimes in relationships my emotions can almost feel more intensified.

Do you think you are at a point though where you can bring something to a relationship? A lot of people look for relationships to make -them- feel better and don't think about how they can bring joy to the other. It's a two-way street.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being happily single either. Whatever you do, make sure it isn't with the expectation for someone else to "make you feel better" or because other people think you need to be in a relationship.

aliengal24 · Post by **aliengal24** » Fri Apr 03, 2009 5:13 am

I felt the same way. I was always really happy and used to being alone. But once I met the right person it was great. We agreed to give one another space cause we both like having our own alone time. Just because you are "with" someone doesn't mean you have to be together all the time. You can have companionship and still have your own time.

Debra Kay · Post by **Debra Kay** » Fri Apr 03, 2009 10:41 am

I feel very lonely at times and I have been married for 25 years. I hope that I can get through with the anxiety and socialize more, but I really hate big groups of people

EmKay · Post by **EmKay** » Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:54 am

Originally posted by Debra Kay:
I feel very lonely at times and I have been married for 25 years. I hope that I can get through with the anxiety and socialize more, but I really hate big groups of people

Debra Kay-You do not necessarily have to be around a big group of people to socialize more and feel less lonely =) Have you thought of joining a meetup group (meetup.com) to try and find a group you can join that has common interests as you? I have only been on the program for two months now and most of my anxiety occurs when I am by myself...almost never when I am in a group or around a group of people. I think that is pretty weird! LOL I laugh at it because I feel ridiculous...I should not be nervous by myself! The statement "I am safe-I am home" has really helped me with that. I also started walking my neighborhood everyday and it not only makes me feel good, but I have met some people along the way....maybe you would benefit from that too....I just wanted to reach out and I hope you will not feel lonely for much longer. You have a long marriage and that is something most of us do not have. You are not doing anything wrong though, so I do not know if you do feel this way, but do not ever feel like you have dome something wrong and that is why you feel lonely.

A meetup group of ladies may be just what you need to help you with your lonliness and to help your anxiety too.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sun Apr 05, 2009 4:03 am

EmKay has a great suggestion, she mentioned about joining a meetup group. From experience i can say this is a great idea!

A support group has helped for me, I was really nervous the first few times and i wasn't forced to speak and I was with sooo many really nice people. Support groups for me seem to be the best when it comes to feeling more connected. I am like you as well when it comes to big groups, I get completely insecure, nervous and anxious. However, people in support groups are usually hurting and they become pretty sensitive about each other's feelings...I guess for me it is another safe place.

Mike