Hello
I need a little perspective. Am I what if-ing, am I scarying myself with negative thoughts, am I being to hard on myself, or is this just my overly active imagination blowing things way out os perspective?
Tonight at my son's baseball game while speaking with another mother, one of the mom's pulled with her 2 yr old sleeping in the van.
She asked us if we could watch him for a few minutes while she ran to porta potties. We said sure. I was very aware of the baby sleeping in van, literally right behind me, she parked right behind my seat. The mom came back after few mintues asked if we'd watch a more few mintues while she ran to snack bar to santize her hands. We said sure.
The other mother I was with left to talk to someone else. I continued watching game in stands. I got engrossed speaking w/another parent while watching the game and momenatrily forgot about the sleeping baby. His mom returned and all was well.
I however began to beat myself up for not being 100% atuned to the sleeping baby for the short time mom had run to snack bar. I began to think what if I went off like the other mother and left the baby unattended. What if I had gone to the snack bar only 20feet away. I had actually thought of getting up when the other mother left but decided against it. I was unable to enjoy the rest of my son's baseball game because I had kicked the negative self talk up a notch.
I came home and tried to talk to my husband. He is normally very supportive but tonight he was like it's always hypothetical situations with you. Nothing happened drop it.
I am probably being oversensitive. I know I am tired and I had a little caffeine soda before the game but I thought it's ok i can handle it. Obviously, I can't because I feel like my mind is going a mile a minute.
So if anyone can offer any suggestions/ thoughts/ I would greatly appreciate it. Everyone here is so kind and understanding. Take care and God bless.
Help- Am I what ifing, obsessing, being negative or what?
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Guest
Hi bna,
First I have to say it was a kind thing for you to agree to watch out for the baby. It sounds like your mind has latched onto some negative thinking cycle, a habit that takes time to break. There is a distortion here. Give yourself 100points for doing a kind deed and maybe -5points for the brief distraction. Also try journaling gratitude that there was something in you that kept you there. Also try being grateful that your husband was honest enough (however harsh it may have sounded), to point out that this was a hypothetical situation. It is important to forgive yourself for not being perfect.
Mitzy
First I have to say it was a kind thing for you to agree to watch out for the baby. It sounds like your mind has latched onto some negative thinking cycle, a habit that takes time to break. There is a distortion here. Give yourself 100points for doing a kind deed and maybe -5points for the brief distraction. Also try journaling gratitude that there was something in you that kept you there. Also try being grateful that your husband was honest enough (however harsh it may have sounded), to point out that this was a hypothetical situation. It is important to forgive yourself for not being perfect.
Mitzy
Just a thought which may not relate to your thinking at all. When I have these sort of scares that haunt me, they often tie to my issue of being trapped and hurt, in pain, alone. (Seeing shows about abused animals in cages, or various things have set this off for me.)
I wonder if you are empathizing with the baby. Wouldn't it feel awful if your mother left you alone in the van and something "bad" happened. There you'd be alone and scared. That mother took a risk I doubt you or I would take by leaving her little one to the care of strangers. Her behavior, and the baby's precarious situation(to people like me anyway it is precarious/risky) may be what is upsetting your thinking and scaring you.
It is hard for me to accept other people taking chances with the innocents in their care child or animal. I am over sensitive since I felt trapped, and helpless at one time, and continue to relate to these situations too personally. This may not be you, but I thought I'd bring it up.
I wonder if you are empathizing with the baby. Wouldn't it feel awful if your mother left you alone in the van and something "bad" happened. There you'd be alone and scared. That mother took a risk I doubt you or I would take by leaving her little one to the care of strangers. Her behavior, and the baby's precarious situation(to people like me anyway it is precarious/risky) may be what is upsetting your thinking and scaring you.
It is hard for me to accept other people taking chances with the innocents in their care child or animal. I am over sensitive since I felt trapped, and helpless at one time, and continue to relate to these situations too personally. This may not be you, but I thought I'd bring it up.