Avoiding Driving
Recently my anxiety has kicked up to where I cannot drive or be alone. I started getting this trembling feeling and it scared me to where I thought maybe diabetes or a seizure so I went and had blood tests done and like always, nothing! I was told it was anxiety & nerves but I am having a hard time convincing myself that is what it is because the trembling is so bad. I want to start driving again but scared of this feeling. Can anyone give some advice?
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getting thru this
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 1:49 pm
i really know how you feel somedays are better than others but what i do if i need to drive is look for marks like i will need to pass this gas station or i need to pass this mark try to get your mind on others things like the markings as what you see to get where your going this seems to work sometimes for mei am still working thru this but baby steps seem t work so far good luck and i DO understand
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shootingstarz
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:46 pm
Oh my goodness! You are not alone on this one! I seriously struggle with this one. I had a severe panic attack in the car and it's like this burning memory. So the minute I feel weird or tired or any kind of body symptom then I have all this anxiety in the car sometimes turn around and go home,sometimes pull over and call people a lot! I hate it. I too wonder about seizures and diabetes!! There really is a pattern to this thing! So weird. I also feel like I am going to pass out in the car and hurt myself or someone else and then it's ramps up if I am slightly anxious and have to stop at a stoplight!! uugghh! in fact I usually call my mother every morning on the way to work! It's gettng better I am not calling every morning so that is progress! uuggh! and I used to drive four hours alone!! uugghh.
Baby steps for sure. I am working through this too. One thing that does help me sometimes is remembering that I have felt this before in the car and made it through it and lived through it and i will just focus on that and repeat it out loud. I practice breathing.(there is something called box breathing breath in for 4 secs hold for 4 secs then out for 4 secs) Sometimes I sing~ anything to change the focus. I also use marker points to get to and pass as well! The other things I ask myself when I am having these thoughts is what truth? what evidence do I have? and is this thought hurting me or helping me? Sometimes I say so what? If something happens God will be with me and I try to surrender. Putting my trust in something greater than myself. I also focus on saying to myself I can, I am, I will ~ this is anxiety and it can't hurt me. I also have a card that says no matter how uncomfortable it is I will do it. So these things have been helpful but I am still working it. and being alone Rosalie I get it. That is the hardest thing for me. I live alone and for a period of time was sleeping over friends and families houses to avoid being alone at night. The night is very hard for me. It's like if someone else is there they will take care of me when something happens!! Cause something is happening!! On the first CD the doc talked about our "perceived safe place" I thought yea my big giant perceived safe place! It made me think that it isn't really about having someone there ya know.
I get it! You are not alone. I am with you girl! I hope some of this helps I am still working it one step at a time too. Baby steps is right! Hang in there.
Blessings, K
Baby steps for sure. I am working through this too. One thing that does help me sometimes is remembering that I have felt this before in the car and made it through it and lived through it and i will just focus on that and repeat it out loud. I practice breathing.(there is something called box breathing breath in for 4 secs hold for 4 secs then out for 4 secs) Sometimes I sing~ anything to change the focus. I also use marker points to get to and pass as well! The other things I ask myself when I am having these thoughts is what truth? what evidence do I have? and is this thought hurting me or helping me? Sometimes I say so what? If something happens God will be with me and I try to surrender. Putting my trust in something greater than myself. I also focus on saying to myself I can, I am, I will ~ this is anxiety and it can't hurt me. I also have a card that says no matter how uncomfortable it is I will do it. So these things have been helpful but I am still working it. and being alone Rosalie I get it. That is the hardest thing for me. I live alone and for a period of time was sleeping over friends and families houses to avoid being alone at night. The night is very hard for me. It's like if someone else is there they will take care of me when something happens!! Cause something is happening!! On the first CD the doc talked about our "perceived safe place" I thought yea my big giant perceived safe place! It made me think that it isn't really about having someone there ya know.
I get it! You are not alone. I am with you girl! I hope some of this helps I am still working it one step at a time too. Baby steps is right! Hang in there.
Blessings, K
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shootingstarz
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:46 pm
Hi,
I don't come on often, but have done the program and check in every now and then.
This thread caught my eye because I am agoraphobic...well recovery agoraphobic. My agoraphobia slowly slithered in my life until I was afraid to drive and wouldn't be alone also. I would just pitch a fit if my husband had to go more than 15 min. away and when he did I just worried all day and just got myself into such a state. The driving started where I was feeling exactly like all here... I would call my husband when things got really bad or just white knuckle my drive. I would even have his # dialed already so all I had to do was push call. I would scan for safe places such as hospitals, houses or anywhere I thought I could get help. Before this all began to happen I was generally anxious and a worried alot, but was still able to do the things I had to do and was able to enjoy my life although it was already a small bit restricted even then. I always wondered what would happen to make a person housebound and how on earth could a person become that restricted...I knew about agoraphobia even then because I knew I was restricted and avoiding, maybe in small areas, but still avoiding non the less. I would have never imagined that was the road I was on and within a couple of years I wouldn't leave my house.
I stayed home for almost a year. MY husband took over all my responsibilities (sp) and I left my own business because I couln't or the more appropriate word woudn't drive to my customers homes. He loved me and thought he was helping, when really he started to enable me and my behaviours really took root. I thought keeping myself safe would help relieve some of the anxiety and it had the opposite effect. If you look at anxiety it has alot of paradoxes.
My husband now works 1/2 or more away and while it was hard at first I have adjusted and that filtered into him being able to be away for longer periods of time and farther with me not having anxiety most days about it. The driving has been a struggle...I still don't drive, but am going out with him, but still not too far away from home. I have had to have a prefessional come to our home weekly and help me work on a plan to get out and work with my distorted thinking.
If I can offer any advice it would be not to stop driving...as hard as it becomes don't avoid it. Do whatever you have to..order the cd, work on a plan to try to make it something you do daily even if it is a small trip and then work through those thoughts that are scaring you. What is the evidence is a good one. Each time you give up a piece of your freedom more will follow, it always does.
It has been misery and very painful to work my way out of this and if I can steer someone else in another direction I will do my best. I look back now and I think if I had taken becoming completely housebound more seriously rather than looking at it as if it only happens to others I needed to be more afraid of that than the anxiety I was feeling at the time, because let me tell you after being there it is small potatoes compared to what the anxiety that ensues when you have completely restricted yourself...it seems to then filter into everything and it more intense. HUGS TO YOU MIchelle
I don't come on often, but have done the program and check in every now and then.
This thread caught my eye because I am agoraphobic...well recovery agoraphobic. My agoraphobia slowly slithered in my life until I was afraid to drive and wouldn't be alone also. I would just pitch a fit if my husband had to go more than 15 min. away and when he did I just worried all day and just got myself into such a state. The driving started where I was feeling exactly like all here... I would call my husband when things got really bad or just white knuckle my drive. I would even have his # dialed already so all I had to do was push call. I would scan for safe places such as hospitals, houses or anywhere I thought I could get help. Before this all began to happen I was generally anxious and a worried alot, but was still able to do the things I had to do and was able to enjoy my life although it was already a small bit restricted even then. I always wondered what would happen to make a person housebound and how on earth could a person become that restricted...I knew about agoraphobia even then because I knew I was restricted and avoiding, maybe in small areas, but still avoiding non the less. I would have never imagined that was the road I was on and within a couple of years I wouldn't leave my house.
I stayed home for almost a year. MY husband took over all my responsibilities (sp) and I left my own business because I couln't or the more appropriate word woudn't drive to my customers homes. He loved me and thought he was helping, when really he started to enable me and my behaviours really took root. I thought keeping myself safe would help relieve some of the anxiety and it had the opposite effect. If you look at anxiety it has alot of paradoxes.
My husband now works 1/2 or more away and while it was hard at first I have adjusted and that filtered into him being able to be away for longer periods of time and farther with me not having anxiety most days about it. The driving has been a struggle...I still don't drive, but am going out with him, but still not too far away from home. I have had to have a prefessional come to our home weekly and help me work on a plan to get out and work with my distorted thinking.
If I can offer any advice it would be not to stop driving...as hard as it becomes don't avoid it. Do whatever you have to..order the cd, work on a plan to try to make it something you do daily even if it is a small trip and then work through those thoughts that are scaring you. What is the evidence is a good one. Each time you give up a piece of your freedom more will follow, it always does.
It has been misery and very painful to work my way out of this and if I can steer someone else in another direction I will do my best. I look back now and I think if I had taken becoming completely housebound more seriously rather than looking at it as if it only happens to others I needed to be more afraid of that than the anxiety I was feeling at the time, because let me tell you after being there it is small potatoes compared to what the anxiety that ensues when you have completely restricted yourself...it seems to then filter into everything and it more intense. HUGS TO YOU MIchelle
Michelle I am very sorry to hear you have stopped driving but I am glad to hear you are starting to leave your house and drive with your husband. Congrats on that. You are moving in the right direction. Be proud of yourself.
I too also have fears of driving. I purchased Carolyn's driving with comfort tape and found it very helpful. It is not the activity of driving that causes us to panic its all the things we say to ourselves when we are driving. I know in my case, I have been afraid what if I have panic attack and lose control of the car, what if a child runs inot the road after a ball, what if someone falls off their bike right in front of my while drivng. The later has actually happened to me. Thank God I was able to avoid hitting him.
These kind of thoughts had made driving very difficult for me and just recently my husband had been in a MVA a few weeks ago. Thank God he and the other driver were fine. But it increased my anxiety about driving tremendously.
I have often thought if I didn;t drive then I won't be having these panic attacks etc. I know that's false because I have panic attacks not just in the car. But no matter how scared and terrified I continue to practice my driving. I am beginning to realzie I am my own safe person and I am my own safe place.
I started to repeat this little mantra before I get in the car. " I am a good, capable, competant, safe driver. I am relaxed and confident behind the wheel of the car because I have great reflexes. I enjoy the thrill of freedom and independence that comes from driving. I can drive anywhere relxed and free of fear because the Lord is my co-pilot".
I keep repeating this over and over all the while breathing. I also listen to my lesson's CD especially self talk while driving. It has helped.
The other lesson that is improtant is don't beat yourself up if you can't do it. Last weekend at baseball I was ubable to reverse out of a parking spot beacuse there was a father and baby in a carriage right beside my van. I sat behind the wheel of the vechile and practiced my breathing. I just couldn't do it. I had my husband do it instead. I began to feel bad about it then stopped myself. I praied myself for at least sitting behind the wheel of the vechile and practicing my breathing and self talk.
It helps me to know that I/m not the only one out there with driving limitations. Just keep looking at every experience as a practice opportunity. Take care and God Bless.
I too also have fears of driving. I purchased Carolyn's driving with comfort tape and found it very helpful. It is not the activity of driving that causes us to panic its all the things we say to ourselves when we are driving. I know in my case, I have been afraid what if I have panic attack and lose control of the car, what if a child runs inot the road after a ball, what if someone falls off their bike right in front of my while drivng. The later has actually happened to me. Thank God I was able to avoid hitting him.
These kind of thoughts had made driving very difficult for me and just recently my husband had been in a MVA a few weeks ago. Thank God he and the other driver were fine. But it increased my anxiety about driving tremendously.
I have often thought if I didn;t drive then I won't be having these panic attacks etc. I know that's false because I have panic attacks not just in the car. But no matter how scared and terrified I continue to practice my driving. I am beginning to realzie I am my own safe person and I am my own safe place.
I started to repeat this little mantra before I get in the car. " I am a good, capable, competant, safe driver. I am relaxed and confident behind the wheel of the car because I have great reflexes. I enjoy the thrill of freedom and independence that comes from driving. I can drive anywhere relxed and free of fear because the Lord is my co-pilot".
I keep repeating this over and over all the while breathing. I also listen to my lesson's CD especially self talk while driving. It has helped.
The other lesson that is improtant is don't beat yourself up if you can't do it. Last weekend at baseball I was ubable to reverse out of a parking spot beacuse there was a father and baby in a carriage right beside my van. I sat behind the wheel of the vechile and practiced my breathing. I just couldn't do it. I had my husband do it instead. I began to feel bad about it then stopped myself. I praied myself for at least sitting behind the wheel of the vechile and practicing my breathing and self talk.
It helps me to know that I/m not the only one out there with driving limitations. Just keep looking at every experience as a practice opportunity. Take care and God Bless.
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thirtysomething
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 9:47 pm
I can relate to this topic as well. I have not driven in several years I just adjusted to it over time. I had lost my license when I was younger and put off taking care of fines etc. for years making excuses like I didn't have the money. Finally I took care of everything and got up the courage to go to the DMV alone and take the written test again etc. But I still put off taking the driving test at the dmv , this makes me so anxious and nervous. A year has gone by and now my written test is expired so I will have to start this process all over again. I don't own a car and usally get rides , walk or bike. Luckily I live close to my work and stores etc. Usally I do most errands or travels with my boyfriend who always drives me everywhere I need to get to all doctors appt. ect. I know this is sometimes annoying for him. I also don't drive because of the extra cost to us with gas , repairs insurance and all and because I am such an envirionmentalist and I think it is better not to if you can. These reasons are true but they may kind of be excuses in a way also. I would like to overcome this one day so I can be independant and especailly if I have children one day. I know it would be good for me to be able to drive again. I also always say even if I drive I will never drive on the freeway which i am so afraid of and even get nervous when I am just in the car. I tell my boyfriend to be careful and often say prayers that we get to wherever safe , along with all those anxious wierd feelings. I know there are alot of issues with this like not having complete controll , many what if's and fear of an accident , injury or death. I understand completely and hope I can drive again normally and automatically with no fear one day.