New to the OCD forum

tweaky1h · Post by **tweaky1h** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 2:38 am

I've actually been around since October but I had myself pegged as GAD with panic but now I see that I'm actually OCD. My obsessive fear for the last 20 or so years have been my health: my late teens and early 20's were consumed with the fear of getting AIDS which made dating somewhat difficult. It's surprising how willing a guy is to get an HIV test if he knows it's the only path into your pants

. Still the fears persisted even after multiple HIV tests. I had a respite from illness fears after getting married until after the birth of my first child and since then it's been one deadly illness after another. No matter how much information I get to the contrary, I just can't shake the fear. As a child I worried obsessively about the world running out of water, forest fires, and others. I've only had one bad episode of what I consider "OCD" behavior which was during that brief respite I mentioned and it was obsessively checking/rechecking if my curling iron was off. Literally, I would check dozens of time before going to work, having to touch it multiple times to see if it was hot. I finally quit after one day when I actually drove back home after leaving for work to check the, you guessed it, curling iron. It was surprisingly easy to quit, and I was careful not to replace it with anything, even though there was the temptation to do so. Now my son is displaying OCD like behaviors with excessive worrying and picking at the skin around his fingers. It's terrible to think I've passed this along to someone. Anyhow, I just wanted to introduce myself. Hopefully I can get to know some of you and we can help each other get through this annoying condition.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 4:07 am

Hi Tweaky.

It's okay, you will be fine. we all have gone or are going through something like or similar to what you are going through. With the program, you WILL get rid of these annoyances.

I use to check and check and check the curling irons too. My daughters were always leaving the hair appliances plugged up and I was constantly checking to see if they were unplugged, even though I KNEW they were unplugged, but I could never be totally sure. I know, it's frustrating.

I don't know if I ever welcomed you to the site, but I want to take this time to say <span class="ev_code_RED">WELCOME TWEAKY!!!!!!!!!!!!</span>

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:10 am

HI Tweaky,

Thanks for saying hi! nice to meet you! I also thought I was just depressed before after further examination I was diagnosed OCD.. please feel free to PM if you ever want to chat or vent. I go through 'episode's' regularly, weekly thoughts and weekly complusions. I always am obsessed with turning the stove off (and yes I have gone home from work to check after many previous checks) and turning the heat down, amongst many others, I find the compulsions and racing thoughts exhausting! ALSO I have noticed a large connection between my 'ocd episodes' and stree level in my life- if one is maxed so will the other one..

Best wishes and WELCOME!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:39 am

Tweaky,
1st off Welcome to the group, and I am open to PM if you need someone to talk to as well. I have been diagnosed with OCD, GAD, and a form of Bi-Polar. So, believe me I know what you are going through. I don't have the compulsions as much but I do definatly have the Obsessions.

Welcome again,

GOD Bless

Candi

Lucy_Winters · Post by **Lucy_Winters** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 8:44 am

Tweaky,
I have the EXACT same OCD symptoms as you..haha mine started when I was 18..and I'm 21 now, but I can remember being a little kid worrying about the world running out of water or any other crisis you can imagine! It made me laugh/smile to see you wrote the same things..haha I guess people really aren't so different after all huh? I have had stretches when I've been worried sick about getting AIDS or any other disease..but it definitely leads me to practice safe sex..lol so I guess it's not all bad! My girlfriend has learned to deal with my "weirdness" I guess..but my latest OCD fear since seeing it in a movie is that someone is going to drug my food. I have a HUGE phobia of not being in control of my mind because I had my first panic attack on psychedelic drugs and I never want to use drugs again..but I'm afraid someone will slip me some..how crazy of a thought is that?? haha..even though it is VERY likely not to happen..I can't seem to shake this crazy fear of food..I mean I literally force myself to eat now..then after I do I make myself feel weird and I don't know how to stop it!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Apr 07, 2008 11:24 am

What a warm welcome! Thanks everyone. I never cease to be amazed how alike we are and what a wonderful feeling it is, after feeling like I'm 'on the outside looking in' for most my life. Pgood - I think we must have a common ancestor, because I too have had obsessions about poison, drugs, and/or chemicals in my food/drinks. I grew up in California and there was always the rumor about people slipping acid into your drink at a party which is probably where it came from. Needless to say, I always kept a deathgrip on any drink I had if I got to the party at all, and never ate the food. During highschool, I lost a scary amount of weight due to this particular fear. I've backed off of that fear to a large extent, but I've refused food at potlocks and such based on the 'who made it and what's in it' excuse. I agree that my obsessions are made significantly worse by situational stress and life experience. The problem is that I feel my threshold for stress is so much lower than others, like my whole nervous system is on a hair trigger. This program has helped me tremendously though. Before it, I could be set off by something as menial as having to spend time with someone wearing too much perfume. Now I'm able to put things into better perspective. Thanks for the great welcome fellow ocd'ers.