I feel WORSE since starting the program

cuttingirl · Post by **cuttingirl** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:54 pm

The breathlessness, insomnia, nightmares, panic attacks, scary negative thoughts and overall stress have gotten so bad I've missed work and hate myself. I was ok during/ after session two, but now at #4 I don't think I can do it anymore. Why do I feel so bad?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:04 pm

Cuttin,
Is there anything else going on that would have caused the stress to increase? Have you been able to work on the self-talk? It sounds like you are in a downward spiral. How have the symptoms gotten worse? Frequency, Duration? Maybe if you told us a little bit more about what is going on it would help.
I've noticed that my stress has increased as a result of the Holidays and the New Year.
Faith

samcat · Post by **samcat** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:20 pm

Hi--I had some similar reactions to start, but these increased anxiety episodes are beginning to fade rather rapidly. I wonder if when we go into these sessions, we open ourselves up and so become more sensitive to things and mental images that we had learned to cover, avoid, or hide. And now when we begin to think about these things again, we take the lid off and--bingo, the old scary feelings come back. I hope that your episodes fade quickly. Best wishes.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:32 pm

Hi faithandhope and martel -
Just seeing responses makes me feel a little better and you are both right. I'm not going to stop the program after #4 since I know it has worked for so many people, but this is NOT easy. The self talk has been really hard, but I have at least filled a spiral memo pad, so hopefully I'll start to feel better and recognize patterns. It just seems to be getting worse- all of it- almost unbearable at times and I can't believe people don't see it and that I don't burst out screaming. Maybe I have "opened up" and it's just really uncomfortable to confront in addition to holiday stress, work stress, relational issues. Lucinda and the Dr. mentioned in session one that it't common to feel worse then feel better. Thank you for your kind responses.

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 3:41 pm

I'm on #6 and sticking to it. Finally back to work. I am taking the supplements and they helped sooooo much! They were not shipped in time and was off them and then bought replacement mood enhancers for the interim. Got very scared I would be off work again but am hanging in ther...then holidays ...then the flu...again couln't take them...just starting to get back on track. I listen to the tapes to and from work and when i workout. At night the relaxation tape. I feel better then. Knoow you are with people who care.

Jill Mercier · Post by **Jill Mercier** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:57 pm

Hi Cuttin,
While I am feeling better. I almost feel like the periods of anxiety and depression are more intolerable. Maybe because I have more relaxed and happy thoughts. Plus it gets tiresome to keep thinking all the time and putting up that stop sign. That is why it is so helpful to have everyone here. I'm glad you're feeling better.
Faith

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 1:23 pm

Hi Cuttin!

First off, take the pressure off yourself!

I have had the program since the end of Novemberish, when I first got it everything got worse, the anxiety, depression,second guessing it, the money.. I trusted the decision and i had faith and kept working on it.

Now I am doing much much better although only on lesson 4 (but 5 weeks of consistant work). As you can see I have really taken my time with each lesson, I only move on when I feel comfortable, I have forever to do this right? practice makes perfect! that has helped me too, it took the pressure off and I enjoy doing the program and homework now.. Just be consistant with it! Dont think that you'll be cured after the first time through, it may take a few, even a couple years but I know that I can see the person I was and the person I want to be (me, the person in between) and it gets easier. You dont have to master this all at once, live, go with it, enjoy it, and keep hope and faith.. trust me when you let go and allow yourself to accept and see/feel that bit of good (which I now have the odd wave of) is so worth it.. once you let go and float with the program it begins to work its magic (it in itself becomes addicting)!

Be patient and have compassion for yourself! give yourself credit for trying and working as hard as you already have! get out that gratitude journal and do lesson 3 consistantly!

Keep your head up! thanks for reaching out and best wishes! keep us posted on your journey to kicking anxiety and depressions ass!

Gman5256 · Post by **Gman5256** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 1:26 pm

P.S. I read on a post from someone who was almost done the program that his thoughts and anxiety got worse at the same time it felt better.. he put it something like "it is a demon who doesnt like to lose, you are challenging it.. like kicking a bad habit that gets stronger before is subsides.." and that has really helped me with the tough times.. and in session 3 one women states "when I begin to feel anxious I tell myself that it is simply a memory, that is how I used to think, I dont do that anymore.." that rocks! makes me totally push the negatives out! try them!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 2:27 pm

I have also noticed that I started to get worse. There are times I feel so good that I almost forget that I have this and then I do my tapes and workbook and it reminds me that I have this problem. I have a sister who went through this program about 5 years ago, she's the one who encouraged me to get this. She tells me that this saved her life. So when I have these feelings I call her and she will tell m e that she experienced similar things.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 2:35 pm

cuttingirl,
i finished the program in 2004. i come in from time to time to help uplift others and, just wanted to tell you too keep with the program..if it worked for me then it will work for you as well...it takes time to get better and it will be well worth it..please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing..if you would like read my profile and you will see a little of what i have been through when i went through panic and anxiety..take care and HAPPY NEW YEAR..may this be your year to shine...if you would like to talk please send me a message. we do not live too far from each other..my wife and i have to go to a dr appt in winston salem in january..GOD BLESS..
DON