scary thoughts about kids but wanting another baby

Kriskam02 · Post by **Kriskam02** » Sun May 31, 2009 3:18 am

hello i have posted several times on here and i must say this site is truly awesome and amazing. helped me realize that i was never going to hurt myself or my kids and i started trusting myself again. i have been having scary thoughts for about a year now due to a trauma. they have only gotten better over the year. i can now go and do and enjoy myself and the only time i have one is when i think to myself Wow i haven't thought anything bad and bam there it comes so i don't realy know if it is ocd or just a bad habit. what i am wondering now is my husband and i are talking about having #3 trying for a girl but when he first brought it up i was soooooooo excited then i let those stupid fears bring me down. i started thinking what if i have scary thoughts about the baby when i bring it home. what if it all comes back full blown like it was a year ago when i couldn't stop crying because i didn't understand what was going on. just for the info i have 2 boys and didn't have post partum with either. i was fine prob just reg baby blues from what i remember but that lasted a day or two and i was fine didn't have time to be sad. i am just scared about these two concerns. if you have any info or have been through this i would love some feed back please. husband doesn't know that i am this worried about it and no we have not started trying yet just talked about it.

thanks

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:18 pm

Hi there...
I too am right where you are. I suffer from repetitive scary thoughts and am on fertility meds to have a baby. I refuse to stop living my life and bring a child in this world if that is what God has in store for me. I have dealt with infertility for years now. I do believe that like you said alot of it could be a bad habit of letting old thought patterns creep in and ruin our lives. I cannot tell you what to do but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:33 pm

So what if those scary thoughts come back...You know you can handle them...You are much tougher than you realize, and you DO KNOW that you are NOT your thoughts...You ARE your actions!!!

Embrace those scary thoughts and know that they are just "thoughts"...nothing more...

You will never act out on these thoughts!!!

If you and your hubby want a baby, then, I say...Go for it!!!

This is my absolute opinion on this one!!!

You are a loving, kind, compassionate human being and you would not hurt a flea, little alone your own child...

These are your "negative thoughts" making the decision for you!!! Do not allow them to control you any longer!!!

Be firm...Stand up to them!!! You can do it...I know you can!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jun 02, 2009 8:21 am

I too suffer from intrusive thoughts about my kids.....it can be very frightening. Mine started after a series of traumas in my life. I can go weeks sometimes months and then they pop up. The thoughts are about all sorts of unimaginable things, that put the fear of god in me and then make me worrie and fret about what if I did it. Sometimes I feel so bad it can actually make me feel uncomfortable being around my children. I try not to let it affect my relationship with my children as I love them very much and know that I would not do anything to hurt them and I am being irrational, but it still makes me fret to such an extent. I am determined to combat this but it is hard.

Don't let these thoughts dictated your life even though it maybe difficult when they arise.