Okay so I woke up okay, but then I started thinking. OH NO! not a good thing. It was warmer today and my husband has been spending more time around the house helping out, and he started to cook spaghetti. I got on the phone with my mother. We started talking about pictures I sent my parents that I had taken at Christmas. She stated that she forgot about my daughter's boyfriend and that he was of a different color. Also told me my dad had a fit.
Whatever I brushed it off. THen she told me that my sister, who is also down south with my parents, did not like him. I stated that she didn't know him. My mom stated that oh she heard some things. I got off the phone pretty quickly after that but my stomach started to hurt. I started thinking and thinking and thinking some more. Then my husband took a nap before work, and I was watching the sauce. I took a shower and he got up and told me I ruined the sauce. I told him I already knew the bottom was burned a little but it is not ruined. He said yes it is ruined. I did not say anything else, but my stomach did the flip flop again and I my wheels started to turn. Why did he have to put me down, why so negative. I bet he still didn't listen to the support tape I asked him to listen to before Christmas. Plus the wheels were turning about my mom & my daughter's boyfriend. Maybe he isn't such a nice guy. What do we really know about him after all. Lot's of things running through the brain. Then I said STOP!!! I made some tea and put on the relaxation tape. No coffee today and no chocolate. GOOD FOR ME!! only decaf green tea. So I felt much better. Then I got to work and the stomach flip flop again. I work at a call center and some of it is customer's calling in but some we have to call them and I hate that part as it give me anxiety as the customer's don't like to be called at home and I think it is me that they are upset with. Anyway I got through that part of the day and heard another agent on a call with an irate customer. The cusomter was swearing and very upset. The agent was yelling back and hung up on the customer. It went to 3 other people before it got to me, and when I got it, I remembered the assertive and not aggressive tape. I kept very calm let her scream and kept asking her for her order number to look up her order. She finally calmed down and gave it to me and as I was looking it up she continued to scream but I paid no attention. I asked her security question 3 times before she calmed down enough to give it to me. I showed her respect and stayed calm and polite. SHe responded!!!! I was shocked! This woman actually calmed down and answered my questions and was actually very calm by the time she hung up with me. She had wanted a supervisor call back anyway, and even the supervisor stooped to her level and got nothing from her. I WAS SO PROUD OF MYSELF. I really really works!.
Well I have to keep plodding on working with the program, and I will be okay. Thanks for listening. I am feeling good right now. Calm relaxed. No stomach ache. Just good.
Still HOPEFUL
It works! It really really works!
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Deborah Henry
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2007 5:57 pm
Wow, what a day but you did it. You cannot control other people, you can only control your reactions and that is precisely what you did! The situations you described were intense assaults. Anybody would have crumbled under that pressure, but not you. You held strong! I am smiling for you from ear to ear. They can all stuff it! Nobody can touch you! Take care of yourself and let "them" take care of themselves. You are an inspiration. Keep it up. I'm loving it!
Debbie
Debbie
Awesome Job! I too have been doing great by trying to not think or talk negative and staying calm. Its hard when you wake up and your mind automatically thinks of negative things. So I have been trying to keep my mind off the negative and think of the positive things. Its a struggle when you grew up in a house with a family that was so negative about everything and I mean everything. I am 40 now and things are going to change. I have a wonderful life besides my anxiety disorder so why not focus on all that good and kick the anxiety in the a**, I dont need it anymore. Congrats again you should be so proud of yourself, keep going girl your doing great. We are all in this together...
Gina
Gina