How To Be My Safe Person...????

worryalittlebit · Post by **worryalittlebit** » Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:23 am

Hi everyone,

I am having HORRIBLE anxiety lately and can't wrap my head around why? Why now? What caused it to get this bad? I feel like I need answers. I have had the program for 3 years now and am so hesitant to start it and go through with the work. It's like I start off with good intentions and it always dwindles. I am seeking answers and I need affirmation all the time from my mom, my husband, my family, and my friends in here, that I am going to be ok. I have yet to be able to hold a conversation with myself that will make me feel better. I feel so lost and have no idea how to talk to myself. The idea of me being my safe person sounds so good, as my husband is probably sick of all the talking I do to him about this. I want to believe this will work, I want to believe that I am my safe person but I am scared. I feel that because I have such scary thoughts all the time and think so negative of myself, how am I ever going to calm myself down or cheer myself up. Any advice would be so helpful right now. I feel so hopeless and yet I am hopeful that this time around I am going to make it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:27 am

Hello, I am not sure if I can exactly answer your questions, but I really would say DO THE PROGRAM. If you "can" put all this time into worry and anxiety and fearfullness, then you can do the program. Plus it will help you with ways to stop all those symptoms. What do you have to lose? The scared feelings? The horrible anxiety? Think of all you have to gain instead. Good luck to you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 08, 2009 10:01 am

Hi worryalittlebit,

It really doesn't matter "why?" or "why now?" Work the program!!! You've already started by posting in the forum. Good for you!! Visit the general chat for moral support. Every time I go there, I come away feeling better. Listen to the relaxation CD, carry and read your pocket cards, listen to the audio DVD's and do the homework in your homework guide. Someone else's post listed a meditation site that includes free meditation instructions for various forms of meditation as well as items that you can buy: <A HREF="http://www.meditationoasis.com" TARGET=_blank>www.meditationoasis.com</A>. Practice the breathing exercises and use these to help yourself relax. Last, but certainly not least, get yourself professional help if you need to. It's not a failure or something to be embarrased about. Do whatever you need to do to get yourself on the road to recovery. You are NOT alone.
Life is a journey not a destination,
kittylover

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 09, 2009 4:19 am

Thank you for your responses. I am seeing a pattern when I actually write down my scary thoughts. They are mainly in passive or futuristic tenses. Why didn't I do the work back then? What happens if this happens again in the future? I am worrying about things I can't control. I can't go back in the past and redo the program, I can read into the future to see what is in store for me. I guess it has to do with the control thing, I can't control it so I get anxious about it? Anyway, thanks for the posts and am working through session 2!

cricket · Post by **cricket** » Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:11 am

hi worryalittlebit,
i went thru a similar bout with the program. i bought it over 2 years ago and finally am getting to session 3 this week. my fear with the program was "what if this doesn't work. what do i do next? i don't have the energy to try something else" or just my need to do everything perfectly stopped me from going to the next session. finally, i watched the introduction dvd where Lucinda says to just keep moving thru the schedule even if i felt like i didn't get it all. whatever i get from each session will help me more than doing nothing. and if i feel like i could get more by doing it again, well, then i could do it again in a few months. i've found it very relieving to just stick to the schedule as best i could, even if it means just going thru the motions. good luck to you!

jay91 · Post by **jay91** » Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:31 am

I think if you just keep doing those 6 steps when you feel this way it'll be easier to get through it. Don't stop telling yourself that it's okay to feel the way you are feeling, don't try to stop being anxious, just allow those feelings to flow and get through the program as best as you can.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:17 am

worryalittlebit, thanks for sharing, I've been learning that my internal dialogue has been destroying me. Now on session 4 I can tell I do better at these things: I am easier on myself, I nip obsessive scary thinking in the bud, I go with the flow much better, I hope more!! I'm finding out my internal dialogue has been awful my whole life, it is taking time to change but it is so worth it. I have actually been learning to affirm myself for a change. I have lived my life to this point needing affirmation from others to make it through the day, now I reward myself mentally for even the smallest achievement, it really works. I feel better most of the time and find myself so much more patient with myself. The most incredible part is that for all my life I've told myself "i'm not creative", now I find I am creative, but only after I , and I mean me, quit telling myself how noncreative I was. Hope this sends encouragement and direction your way.