red face and everyone laughs i want to cry...

ElizabethRoy · Post by **ElizabethRoy** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:19 am

i am in my second week... its hard.
I just got out of a meeting which was as uasual until all of a sudden i was asked a question.. i thought i was going to pass out.. and then i turned bright red in the face and everyone pretty much started to laugh and they all had to tell me how red.. and redder and even more red i was getting.. i had to fight my tears... and now the meeting is over and i am very quiet.. i have no idea how to stop this...= (

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:27 am

I have been there so many times Elizabeth. Most recently when I started my new job last October, we had a departmental meeting and I had to introduce myself to everyone and tell them a little bit about myself. I could feel my body temperature rising, my face flushing, the sweat coming on.....but, I lived through it. I have struggled with public speaking since I was in high school. I hated speech class! I just recently learned to not let the fear over take me. I appear calm on the outside even if I am doing summersaults on the inside. I use the old trick of picturing everyone in the room in their underwear.It really does work! Who cares what your co-workers think. Do they really matter in your life. I mean, if they never talked to you again, would your life end? Don't let anyone have that much power over you. Believe in yourself. It's like bullies in grade school, when they see you cry they know they got to you and they will keep coming. Where if you don't cry and act like "so what" they go away because there is no reaction there. Keep your chin up!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:33 am

Hi Elizabeth,
I am sorry you are having such a rough time. I'm sorry too those around you were not being very considerate of your feelings. You hang in there. This program will help you so much. It was the answer for me. I wish you well. Just try as best you can to let this go and forget about this situation. So what, your face got red, try not to let it be such a big deal, you will be fine, and you will be feeling better very soon. You do all this program tells you and you will be amazed at the changes you will see in yourself. You can do this. I wish you the very best on your road to recovery. Please don't give up, I know this is hard, but it gets easier in time. Be patient with yourself, kind and compassionate.
Your Friend
Angla

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:34 am

thank-you...you are right... i don't care, i just wish i knew why face turned bright red so often.. a cashier.. a stranger.. a cowerker.. they know i am red in the face sometimes even before i do.. I'm not shy.. i am the clown of the office.. it seems to me its as if it is when i am taken by suprise. the doctors have said, "there is nothing wrong with you physically so you have mental problems and sent me on my way..! Amnd so i walked away thinking.. " I knew i was nuts.. great now what!?" and here i am...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:12 am

Any doctor that tells you you have mental problems is not a doctor I would keep! I remember reading or hearing somewhere that there is a physical or genetic reason for turning beet red in the face. I wish I could remember where. I will try and find it. Anyway, you seem to have the right mind set, so, use your silliness and laugh it off with everyone else. You know you are okay. That's all that matters

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:32 pm

I used to have that issue constantly and couldn't control it. I still get it once in a while when I am really upset or say something embarrassing (foot in mouth kind of thing). When I went on an anti-depressant for my anxiety one of the good benefits was that this red face issue almost disappeared! I'm not saying to take medication just for that, but wanted to mention my experience. I see other people who that happens to and I act like nothing is happening because I know how it feels.

People who mention it are not being kind or considerate at all. I know it's hard but try to tell yourself "my face is red, i know it, so what" and let it go. If you can do this you'll cool down quicker and won't keep getting more red. Easier said than done, I know -- but give it a try!

Best,
Jen

CarolynEd.Dir. · Post by **CarolynEd.Dir.** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 2:06 pm

Hey I only have a minute but wanted to respond. I have had a huge problem with turning red in the chest and neck, especially now that I'm in change of life. It's not there unless I'm stressed, or having a discussion I'm not really comfortable with - like being assertive. I sing on our Praise Team and do other singing events and was SO humiliated about turning red, at one point I'd work on an outfit that would cover my chest - but you can't wear turtlenecks in the summer. LOL SO finally I decided I was going to be open about it before I'd share a song - being I'm going through this anxiety now with the hormonal roller coaster. I'd say - Oh BTW - if I start to turn every color imaginable don't be alarmed...it happens all the time now that I'm in change of life - do you think it's a hot flash?? The women would laugh and nod their heads - but the most important thing was when I did have a flush come on and knew it - it didn't alarm me and I didn't care. Knowing that people aren't thinking "man what's wrong with her??" is so comforting. Not sure how you can handle this - but our Pastor is a blusher and gets beet red too - and he's been open about it and says "I'm a blusher so don't be alarmed". When it happens nobody pays it any mind. Think about it - because it's diffused the control this blushing / flushing has had over me - it's like saying Oh well - if it happens it happens but I thought I'd tell you ahead of time so you don't get alarmed. Hope this helps!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 2:44 pm

I've got to add to all this, my niece Lydia is
19, and whenever she gets at all upset or flustered, she turns bright red, she has really fair skin, so it shows immediately, people unthinkingly will comment and say dumb things, but she's lovely & if this is her worst issue in life, how wonderful!!! You guys are so great, I love how healing it is to comfort one another,,, it's part of getting over our own fears and restrictions, knowing that others struggle, getting our focus on someone else and reaching down to give them a hand up the side of this mountain called "Life"...
God Bless you all real good!
Fairlight

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 3:55 pm

I don't know if I have any good advice. I seen the topic and really could relate. I use to get
embarresed real easy as a child and I had fair skin so that didn't help.
The first panic attack I had was at school and I
remember feeling very hot around my neck. One of
my friends said "Oh my gosh what's wrong with your neck, it's so red!" I had no idea why it happened. I remember my mother saying it was the
"hives". I guess that's a southern thing...I don't know. I have heard people saying that,like
"Oh he was so nervous that he broke out with the
hives". I know that sounds crazy but that was their explanation for it...god bless'em.lol
I think for me it was..and still is..a part of the anxiety. I'm so thankful now that I have this program to help teach me these"Life skills"
as Lucinda calls them. I will be so happy when
I can pass down this knoweledge to my children!
My 11yr. old already blushes real easy and I know how she feels. I just hope that I can help
her with it.
God bless you and goodluck with everything!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:47 am

Hi Elizabeth,

I understand what you're going through. When all the attention is on me I freeze up sometimes and loose my train of thought because all these eyes are on me now! It's a self-esteem issue. In your childhood, you probably had no one "focus in" on you and build you up with encouragement so now in your adult life, it's awkward when it happens... and you revert back to that little child and think to yourself "why would anyone want to hear what I have to say... they never have before". BUT you are more than significant... you are beautifully and wonderfully made and are the center of God's eye. He knows every # of hair on your head, that's how important you are to God. I know what you mean when you say you are a clown... you make people laugh to get a smile and for them to like you. Me too. But it's always behind the scenes. God wants to teach you how to be yourself and make people laugh no matter who's watching. You can get there, just practice it day in and day out AND NEVER GIVE UP! No matter how grim a situation might be or how embarrassed you may have gotten, keep doing it.

I sent you a poem in a private message that touches on the "center of attention" struggle. I hope it helps you.