It's my birthday today

Shalini · Post by **Shalini** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 7:43 am

It's my first b-day without anyone special for me in my life. It's very hard and lonely. Please don't get me wrong I have realy great friends and family but not that special someone. I'm trying my best not to think about my past with him but it's so hard. Especially since he's moved on and is in a relationship. It's not fair that I'm all alone that he's already someone. i have to keep telling myself that when one door closes another one opens. I pray that i get through this super dark time in my life. I feel as though I'm getting punished for loving someone so hard and then leaving because it was so toxic.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:13 am

Shalini:
Happy Birthday!!! This is a very spicial day.
And you will realize it before long. It is always darkent before the dawn. Just keep hanging in there!!! It is gonna be better!!

Shalini: I was one that stayed. I had no courage, I guess. I had 3 little kids. I got so I just could not make up my mind. I was in a conflict for years. Every day was the question: "shall I go or shall I stay". Over and over I'd weigh the consequences of each action in question. I couldn't decide so I did nothing. I stayed for 19 years.
It didn't get better; it got worse.
Finally he left.
I'm 79 years now. It is all behind me. But look how many years I compromised my values.

You did the right thing. Celebrate that fact alone now if necessary. Don't look back. What you did was admirable!!

Begin taking care of you! Be patient with yourself. And be willing to be lonely for awhile. It is worth it!!!!
You are a brave girl! So square those shoulders back. Hold that head up! and celebrate with a thankful heart! You escaped some bad years.
Take it from me.
Again - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
MaryJane

Kathleenjh · Post by **Kathleenjh** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:26 am

Shalini,
HAPPY BIRTDAY!!!!! I have been where you are, it is just a temporary place. Do not look at it as this is the way it will be from here on out. It is only a transitional period until the next phase of your life begins. Have a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY... you matter to us! Join us in chat there is lots of support in there.
kathleenjh

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:37 am

I wish you all the best today and in the year to come. You deserve the very best and may all your pain and suffering be lifted so that you can enjoy life to the fullest. You didn't deserve what happened in your relationship. Try to chalk it up to experience and growth and move forward looking for the best life has to offer. May all of your hopes and dreams come true!

~Shelby~ · Post by **~Shelby~** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 8:49 am

Happy Birthday!

Everyday you will care a tiny bit less about him until one day you will think it's funny that you were even upset about losing him, you'll realize it was the best thing that happened to you, PROMISE! Been there.

Jocie22 · Post by **Jocie22** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:13 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I was int he same situation a few times. A guy I was seeing broke up with me a week before my birthday and I was crushed, I felt just the way you do! However, a few months later a met an amazing guy and we spent 3 wonderful years together. Looking back I am so glad that relationship was over because I would have NEVER felt or experienced the things I did!

Your feelings are intensified because its your birthday. Just like how you feel more anxiety around holidays because you want these events to be perfect.

like shelby said you will think about him less and less until one days you will think its funny you were even upset over him. I know I was that way....my ex who dumped me before my birthday is still stuck in our hometown in Rhode Island ( I live in California) he has a dead end job, drug habit and got a girl pregnant VERY young. Focus on yourself and know that you are not alone just because you dont have a boyfriend. Have a wonderful birthday go for a walk, see a movie laugh and have a drink with a friend! Live in the moment!

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 5:17 am

You are in what a lot of people call The Dark Night of the Soul. Please stop thinking you would be less lonely with that person. He has moved on because of a lot of really negative things about himself! You got out for survival, and you are growing. I imagine women are props for this fellow. They prop up his pretend self esteem. That's not the same as growing self esteem. It's kind of like Dr Fisher said about medication. You put a patient on something, and two years later, with no behavior change, take them off the medication, and the person is the same. You are changing. Your next relationship can be a good healthy one for you and for him, the new him. He will be lucky to have you in his life. That is your birthday present to yourself. Be well.

jamest71 · Post by **jamest71** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 9:16 pm

Happy Birthday to you! Remember this is your special day and there is no need to waste your special day on anyone else. Take advantage of your day to be totally selfish and pamper yourself

I know EXACTLY what you are going through. My birthday is in 3 days. It will be my first one alone in 15 years. I had a hard last few days. So I can totally relate with what you are experiencing. If you're scared like I am, hang in there, we'll get through it.
Some really good advice being given on this thread. i just went back and re-read all the posts - very encouraging to me as I am in the same situation.
Eric

Lenore · Post by **Lenore** » Fri Jun 20, 2008 12:18 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY - many many more.

Don't ever settle - cause @ times, lonliness can try & trick ya. Be w/ someone cause you want to be - YOUR CHOICE, not JUST BECAUSE to have a BODY THERE. You are much too valuable for that - YOU ARE PRICELESS!

LENORE

<img src="http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm25 ... 99997a.gif"

MelMbrsl75 · Post by **MelMbrsl75** » Fri Jun 20, 2008 12:50 am

Happy Birthday!!!