My fiance just got a call from his father that his 39 yr old sister was found dead today. They think she died of cirrhosis of the liver. No one had any idea she was sick and now we are thinking she was an alcoholic. He is very upset and I am doing everything I can to be there for him, but inside I am completely freaking out. I'm not sure what to do and I don't want to tell him my anxiety is bad because this is such a scary sad shocking thing that has happened. Does anyone have any advice on what to do when something so unexpected happens? My anxiety has been pretty under control for the last couple of months but now I feel like I am jumping out of my skin.
Thank you
help
-
Guest
Dragonfly,
I am so sorry to hear that. That is very sad. Of course your anxiety is high right now. That is normal. It is good that you're there for your husband. That is really all you can do right now. Be there and be supportive. Maybe let him know a little later that your anxiety is very bad right now. . maybe he already knows? Im sorry I dont have anything helpful to say. I just wanted to say that I am very sorry. ((((dragonfly)))))
I am so sorry to hear that. That is very sad. Of course your anxiety is high right now. That is normal. It is good that you're there for your husband. That is really all you can do right now. Be there and be supportive. Maybe let him know a little later that your anxiety is very bad right now. . maybe he already knows? Im sorry I dont have anything helpful to say. I just wanted to say that I am very sorry. ((((dragonfly)))))
-
Guest
-
Guest
Dragonfly,
I am so very sorry for your loss. This is a very traumatic time for your fiance and for you too.
Allow yourself the right to be anxious. I think we all would be. It will pass, though and you can do some things to help it pass. First of all, the relaxation audio is critical just to help you breath and really, really try to clear your mind of all thoughts. There isn't anything you can do about what happened and you know that. Allow yourself time to grieve, though.
I remember when one of my very close friends lost her husband very quickly to a massive heart attack. I do remember the adrenaline rush that came over me as I was there with her - just trying to help with her children and the rest of her family in any way I could. I spent the night there and couldn't sleep either, but I knew I must try to relax for her and took turns with her sister in trying to calm her down. I didn't have the skills from this program yet, but I did pray, pray, pray that she would be ok and that God would send people to help take care of her and the children for a while.
When I finally got home, what I most needed to do was cry... and cry and cry. It felt good to do that - and when I was done, I slept and slept from sheer exhaustion.
I do hope that you find a way to fill your mind with thoughts of breathing (one thousand one, one thousand two, etc.) rather than the thoughts that are racing through your mind now.
God bless you, your fiance, and his entire family during this difficult time.
I am so very sorry for your loss. This is a very traumatic time for your fiance and for you too.
Allow yourself the right to be anxious. I think we all would be. It will pass, though and you can do some things to help it pass. First of all, the relaxation audio is critical just to help you breath and really, really try to clear your mind of all thoughts. There isn't anything you can do about what happened and you know that. Allow yourself time to grieve, though.
I remember when one of my very close friends lost her husband very quickly to a massive heart attack. I do remember the adrenaline rush that came over me as I was there with her - just trying to help with her children and the rest of her family in any way I could. I spent the night there and couldn't sleep either, but I knew I must try to relax for her and took turns with her sister in trying to calm her down. I didn't have the skills from this program yet, but I did pray, pray, pray that she would be ok and that God would send people to help take care of her and the children for a while.
When I finally got home, what I most needed to do was cry... and cry and cry. It felt good to do that - and when I was done, I slept and slept from sheer exhaustion.
I do hope that you find a way to fill your mind with thoughts of breathing (one thousand one, one thousand two, etc.) rather than the thoughts that are racing through your mind now.
God bless you, your fiance, and his entire family during this difficult time.
-
Guest
dragonfly so sorry for your pain right now....
The best thing you can do for him and your self is to just be there for eachother.....listen when hes talking and accept that hes not right now. Time will help to heal the heart. Its perfectly natural to feel high anxiety when tragedy such as this happens dont let that scare you...and you have had anxiety before and were able to overcome it...you will again....as the stress calms down a bit you will feel your body react and become more calm as well.
Dont jump to conclusions about sister in law....liver chiroisis can be caused from many different things not only alcohol. It really doesnt matter what caused this to happen it did and thats what you want to deal with right now. She must have been sick for a while and maybe she hid it from people on purpose so that she could enjoy life best she could. Whatever the reason its hard to loose a loved one.
My deepest sympathies and prayers are with you and your family.
Dodger
The best thing you can do for him and your self is to just be there for eachother.....listen when hes talking and accept that hes not right now. Time will help to heal the heart. Its perfectly natural to feel high anxiety when tragedy such as this happens dont let that scare you...and you have had anxiety before and were able to overcome it...you will again....as the stress calms down a bit you will feel your body react and become more calm as well.
Dont jump to conclusions about sister in law....liver chiroisis can be caused from many different things not only alcohol. It really doesnt matter what caused this to happen it did and thats what you want to deal with right now. She must have been sick for a while and maybe she hid it from people on purpose so that she could enjoy life best she could. Whatever the reason its hard to loose a loved one.
My deepest sympathies and prayers are with you and your family.
Dodger
-
Guest