"What if" thinking

[tina martin]

Sure was thinking of you, J, wondering how it went. You'll need to figure out when to make up the sleep. Our body can take changes in hours, but only so much sleep deprivation. You are so brave to do this.

Bailey, I have only posted in this area where people have posted praising the program. I sometimes think people have the program but give it time only here and there. With proper use it seems to help a great deal.

Rachel, you open the door to one of my Wonders: Nature. I walk every day and am renewed by it every day. I marvel at the sky, drifting clouds, the air, trees, bushes, grasses, fragrances, birds chirping and fluttering about. Bark of trees interest me. It has such interesting, varied designs. Soon blossoms and leaves will appear. When I see people on my walks, all too often they are either checking their tech item in their hand, or holding it against their ear chattering. So people are disconnected from anything around them. A big loss, in my mind. If you think of Jane Austen's world, a walk often was the highlight of the day. Frequently it is my highlight.

[cj20520]

I just read all 71 postings and i have to say you are all amazing!! What a great support you are to one another and all because of one posting on What if thinking. I learned alot and it helped me too, especially knowing that others have more difficulty at the beginning of the week and in the morning.

Last week when the earthquake hit Japan i was so focused on what they were going through that i didnt even think about my anxiety. That surely tells me that it is all in my thoughts.

Congrats to all of you for finding your path through support and friendship.
cj

[tina martin]

CJ, I'm only one of many, but it is so nice of you to take the time and respond.

So I can't help but say that my daughter recently told me she came across a post by someone saying she gets much good help on help sites. "Of course," daughter said she thought, "My mom does this." I have spoken to her about my virtual life (now 3 years) and my heart swelled when daughter wanted to send me the post. "No need," I told her. "Should I quit doing this?" "No, mom." Worth all the cobwebs growing here. Thank you, CJ.

[Loveslife]

Tina, you never fail to make me laugh. Your daughter sent you a lovely gift. (mine is still not talking to me, but she will come around soon enough, and I suspect that will be when her laundry basket is full)

I survived my first midnight shift!!! They all told me that the first one would be the hardest, as I wasn't really able to nap the day before. I was home and in bed by 8;30am and now it is 2pm. I have two more midnight shifts, tonight and tomorrow.

Wow, it is hard, I must say. Very, very hard. The doctors have a "sleeping room" but not me. I'm in an uncomfortable chair, and took my needlepoint in to stay awake.

We didn't have any codes, but Roy from engineering came in to the office and went over all of my codes with me again. I would say that code grey is the scariest. (bomb threat) and code silver. (shooter)

It is important to remain calm, and I do feel I am able to remain calm in case of emergencies. Sigh. Ok. Off to walk my dog, and then rest some more.

Peace and love and positive thinking to all.

Loveslife

[Paisleegreen]

Hi J, congratulations on working your first night shift! Yippee!
Tina, I like what you daughter had to say and how funny you are about the cobwebs. I'm with you on the nature walks, I love them. I've got the flu now so spent my weekend resting. Got Brave in taking Alka Seltzer first with the aspirin and bicarconate and then the cold medicine. I was scared to see what he cold medicine Alka Seltzer would do to my system. All went well and I didn't take the full dosage on either one of them. I did have DH get me the 81 mg of Aspirin which is helping me with aches and pains but not the "stomach irritations" that a full 325 mg Aspirin would bring on. I was able to eat some potato soup later.

I slept well, except to be woking up to the clinging of glass dishes and silverware as DS was doing the dishes at 4:00AM. I got up and talked to him about it, and asked him to not do it and leave them for me to do in the morning. He is his cavalier attitude said well since you are up, I'll continue. Oooohhhh...I was so mad! I thought about it as I went back to bed. So frustrated with this "kid" and his insensitivities. As the day before and I talked w/ DH about it, he started to clip his toenails in the LR and I questioned him about it, and got him a box to clip his toenails into. (this was after a shower) He ignored me and continued to clip this nails and let the clippings lie wherever they landed.

So anyway, I have two things to had DH talked to him about and last night it took me a while to calm myself down to go back to sleep. I'm still not feeling that good and after I post here I'm going back to bed. Anyway, this happened after he stays up all night with his young adult friends and GF, and has them over for diinner that the girls prepared, but the boys were suppose to do the dishes. He instead watches movies with them and then while I'm resting does the dishes.

I know this isn't totally on topic but I had to vent. As some of you know this is my anxiety with this son and I never know to ignore the behavior because he is doing other things good or be his "doormat" as he has a mind of his own and when he is with these young adult friends that have their own issues with their families and find our home a resting spot for them, they aren't always a good influence on his behavior. They aren't doing horrible, things, they are good kids, but they all lack some maturity and it is driving me crazy!

Okay, enough of my venting.

Rachel good for you on getting out and about. CJ always good to hear from you too Good for you on reading all the 71 postings~Yippee!

Bailey, it seems that we just follow along like Tina said. Most people post on the first posting about questions and start a topic there. As far as getting a response it depends on what others are doing and if they think they can help you. Paislee

[tina martin]

How presumptuous can one person get? Good Grief. Posting is as potentially beneficial to the poster as the reader. I have grown and learned so so much in this time. It is making the last chapter in my life top of the bunch. This bothered me all the time I was out this a.m.

J, I'm so thrilled for you. What a trooper you are. Now the sleep bank is like any other bank. It's OK to borrow here and there. It's also OK to get in some reserves. You know, store sleep like camels store water. Are you taking snacks? Puzzles? Novels? Diary? How could we forget Diary? Do you know what has been admitted to Wonders and jumped to No. 1 no less? Gratitude. Daughter will come around and you will fall into each other's arms.

Paislee, I had a cold too. Felt miserable. My remedy? Vit C. I actually forgot to take the evening dose one day and the buggers got going right away. Popped extra Vit C and am almost all better. See what your doctor thinks, but I am a Vit. C junkie. DS requires creative thinking. Maybe hide the dishes elsewhere and he won't have any clean ones? A little practical joke? Hope you feel better, P.

[bklynbee]

I am so glad I posted on this website because it brought me to a lot of nice people that think like me. This post took a life of its own which is so great! I had such a crazy day today...my mom passed out this morning and me and my sister have been calling her all day long to make sure she is ok...my sis lives with her but she had to work and of course me with my stupid anxiety i wouldnt go sit with her so my next best option was to just keep calling her. Between the hours of 3 and 5 my mom was not answering the phone, me and my brother kept calling but no answer. My brother was like lets call the ambulance to go check on her but I decided to try one last time to call her house...I kept saying if your there you better pick up otherwise we are calling the ambulance but she finally picked up. I am trying to get her an appointment with the doc tomorrow to see what is going on with her. All I keep thinking to myself god if anything is wrong with her I think this will push me over the edge. I have been trying so hard to do the positive thinking and keep telling myself she will be ok but ive been doing this negative thinking for such a long time that its going to take a long time to change it. I listened to session 4 today and when they were talking about re-decorating the Christmas tree I was like wow I have done that. The best one was the lady that put on the high heel shoes to make sure that everything was clean for her tall house guests. When i heard that i was like i could definitely picture myself doing something like that. When I told my fiance about it he was like why would someone do something like that? That just proved to me the difference in how we think about things. Another lady also reminded me of myself when she was talking about how she used to clean with a toothbrush and q-tip. I remember in our first apartment we had brand new tiled floors and i didnt want the grout in between to get dirty so I used to take a clorox pen and scrub them on my hands and knees every week. When we moved out the landlord was like wow the grout is still white. To me that was just normal thinking and anyone would do that. Now I am looking at things differently. When I listen to the sessions its as if these people are inside my head reading my mind. It truly is amazing. I decided today even if this program doesnt help me 100% it really has showed me how to look at things differently and how the mind really is a powerful thing. Hope everyone has a great night!

[tina martin]

brklynbee, you are making wonderful progress. Maybe you can patiently explain your thinking to your fiance. You did so well in your actions re your mom. The following is to encourage you to keep doing the program.

There is a fascinating article in this week's New Yorker, March 21, "The Poverty Clinic, Can a stressful childhood make you a sick adult?" Do we really need these scientific studies to tell us, "YES," to this question? My old friend Freud is cited. And it is not only poverty that will cause the stress and the results of depression, anxieties, addictions, etc. It is interesting to me that asthma, which I developed very young, frequently occurs in such children. The evidence for the problems is easy enough to discern, the cures will need work.

However, the real reason I mention this is that CBT, such as the program here, is cited as effective, as well as self-calming exercises such as meditation, yoga (I'd add Tai Chi) and relaxation techniques. There is greater understanding and greater hope.

[Rachael9700]

Good to hear from everyone,
Congratulations J, I have a shift change once a week starting tomorrow. I usually work the afternoons, tomorrow is a morning shift at a different location. I'm going, I'll be off earlier and I'll get the whole afternoon with my son. I'll drive farther, but more of the relaxing with my tape on the way there. Bklynbee, I hope your mom is okay, and tell me when you get outside, what did you hear? see? smells? To everyone, good to know your being upbeat and everyone is working hard on changing their old habits!

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Tina, thanks for the tips! He sort of gave an attitude to DH when he tried to wake him up this evening at five o
clock to go to his college class which he keeps missing. Due to illness and GF. We assume he went to class since he isn't here.

I did take Vit C and that's what go things clearing up for me, I need to take it at smaller dosages more regularly so that I get use to the body symptoms I get from it. I'm trying to get use to all the sensations I feel when I eat. As I don't take Xanax or anti=depressants,so I'm feeling what the sugar, salt and spices do to my body system. I can literally feel the changes in my brain after I eat something sugary or salty or full of protein. I'm that sensitive. So I feel that same feeling when I take vitamins or even an aspirin. But I did fine so far...

Brooklyn, I really enjoyed your story and hope your mother is okay. I clean out my window tracks with a rag and butter knife. And I know about the grout also in tile. I learned years ago from a sister in law to buy linoleum or vinyl flooring where the fake grout line is darker. So we have white squared Vinyl flooring that the grout line is darker. I see tile flooring and now they use huge tiles and large grout. I'm not going to replace my vinyl with the real stuff, I can see how hard that is to keep clean and things break on them too easily.

I hope you mother is doing better. A shout out to J as well, have a good night at work, tonight! Paislee