Lindalee -
I can't give you any advice with your horse since I'm not familiar with their care, but I really want to encourage you not to feel guilty. You did what you thought was the best thing for your animal based on an "expert's" advice. You didn't do anything wrong. Instead of feeling guilty, use this as a learning experience and focus your attention on doing what you can to help your horse. It won't do either of you any good to beat yourself up.
Best of luck,
Jamie
One More Step
THH and Beranger -
It's so easy to let go of everything we've learned once things start to get better. But think of it like someone with say asthma that takes medication to control it. If they just stopped taking the medication once they felt better, there asthma would soon return. Similarly, our skills and tools are our medication. They help us cope and maintain a healthy life. Why would we want to give that up? These are healthy habits that will continue to reward us throughout the rest of our lives.
Jamie
It's so easy to let go of everything we've learned once things start to get better. But think of it like someone with say asthma that takes medication to control it. If they just stopped taking the medication once they felt better, there asthma would soon return. Similarly, our skills and tools are our medication. They help us cope and maintain a healthy life. Why would we want to give that up? These are healthy habits that will continue to reward us throughout the rest of our lives.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
ManOfMusic -
You're still doing great. There's no need to beat yourself over the head with the "guilt hammer". Keep in mind that if you don't make you're goal in the morning, that doesn't mean the days over and you haven't got anymore chances. If you want to go for a walk, then do it. If it has to happen in the afternoon or evening, so be it. You're not on a restricted schedule other than the one you have set for yourself. Ask yourself if the limitations you've set are realistic or if they are just arbitrary and unnecessary.
Jamie
You're still doing great. There's no need to beat yourself over the head with the "guilt hammer". Keep in mind that if you don't make you're goal in the morning, that doesn't mean the days over and you haven't got anymore chances. If you want to go for a walk, then do it. If it has to happen in the afternoon or evening, so be it. You're not on a restricted schedule other than the one you have set for yourself. Ask yourself if the limitations you've set are realistic or if they are just arbitrary and unnecessary.
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
PBerg -
I'm a little late in replying but welcome to the site!
Also, I wanted to applaud you for making your goal chart. It's so helpful to have an objective view of how things are really going. Too often we only remember the bad stuff and forget what we've actually accomplished. We are quick to criticize ourselves and hesitant to give ourselves credit. I hope that this tool helps you realize all the progress that you've made.
Keep it up,
Jamie
I'm a little late in replying but welcome to the site!
Also, I wanted to applaud you for making your goal chart. It's so helpful to have an objective view of how things are really going. Too often we only remember the bad stuff and forget what we've actually accomplished. We are quick to criticize ourselves and hesitant to give ourselves credit. I hope that this tool helps you realize all the progress that you've made.
Keep it up,
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
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manofmusic
- Posts: 711
- Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 12:07 am
- Location: Canada
I put the "guilt hammer" away. I decided that as long as I'm on vacation, there is no 7:00am. I got up at 8:30, got dressed and went to do the riverwalk. I feel 100% better.
About half way thru the walk, I felt an attack coming on. The pathway started to move a bit ! LOL I just concentrated on my breathing and moved on. Besides, there are benches all along the path, so if I needed to sit down, I could.
Now I can relax and feel good !
About half way thru the walk, I felt an attack coming on. The pathway started to move a bit ! LOL I just concentrated on my breathing and moved on. Besides, there are benches all along the path, so if I needed to sit down, I could.
Now I can relax and feel good !
ManOfMusic -
Good attitude and good job meeting your goals and handling your anxiety. When I'm out exercising and I start to feel anxiety come on, one thing that helps me is to start exerting myself more. By expending more energy ramping up my exercise, I'm taking away from the available energy the anxiety can draw from. Plus I'm metabolizing the stress hormones faster too. Just knowing this also helps me.
Way to go!
Jamie
Good attitude and good job meeting your goals and handling your anxiety. When I'm out exercising and I start to feel anxiety come on, one thing that helps me is to start exerting myself more. By expending more energy ramping up my exercise, I'm taking away from the available energy the anxiety can draw from. Plus I'm metabolizing the stress hormones faster too. Just knowing this also helps me.
Way to go!
Jamie
"Common things occur commonly. Uncommon things don't. Therefore, when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." -- C.J. Peters
Thanks for the kind words everyone, I did make decisions I thought were the best for my horse at the time. If I could get her well I feel I could forgive myself for the mistakes easier, you know, make it right. But it looks like I will have to accept that she paid the price for my mistake, I can't fix it, Keeping myself in the guilt prison for life as punishment won't help her either.
THH the white line disease is gone, but damge was done and hasn't grown out yet. 2 farriers have said they can't put any shoe on her- her foot won't hold anything, maybe in another 8 weeks she'll grow enough.They won't even try to glue anything on.
Thanks for the "notify" info, this will make participating so much easier.
Making mistakes that cause others pain is one of my biggest fears. It's what I fear when I panic while driving, and that being anxious makes me more likely to make a mistake and hurt someone. I haven't been able to accept the anxiety and float with it, because I'm afaid I'm putting other people in danger. It was the most stressful part of my job in the hospital, and a big reason I quit.
THH the white line disease is gone, but damge was done and hasn't grown out yet. 2 farriers have said they can't put any shoe on her- her foot won't hold anything, maybe in another 8 weeks she'll grow enough.They won't even try to glue anything on.
Thanks for the "notify" info, this will make participating so much easier.
Making mistakes that cause others pain is one of my biggest fears. It's what I fear when I panic while driving, and that being anxious makes me more likely to make a mistake and hurt someone. I haven't been able to accept the anxiety and float with it, because I'm afaid I'm putting other people in danger. It was the most stressful part of my job in the hospital, and a big reason I quit.
Lindalee,
my driving problem is also based on my fear of putting others at danger when I am feeling the anxiety come on. Vehicles are powerful and can do a lot of damage, and I tend to focus on this when I am in a fast-paced traffic situation. Many people have anxiety when traffic is going slow, but I actually prefer this since I am less likely to hurt someone if I'm going at a slow speed! May sound silly to others, but that's how I sometimes feel when I'm driving. I agree that it is very difficult to float with it in a driving (or similar) situation. I never understood how truck drivers do it; they have to stay in control of something that could hurt so many people if something went wrong.
My advice is to start slow. Feel the fear and do it anyways. You can ALWAYS slow down and people can go around you! This has helped me a ton, just knowing I have control to go what speed I want. Who cares if someone honks at you! That is their problem. I promise you that the more you do it, the easier it gets.
In order to follow a career dream of mine I had to go into the city after my regular job for training. That was anxiety producing because I had to drive on an expressway with people potentially merging from the right (I was a nervous wreck almost every day, even leading up to the drive). Then, when training was done I had two choices to get home: 1. Go WAY out of my way, waste time and gas to avoid a very very very tall bridge where traffic can even merge from the right at 70 ft. above the earth, two small lanes with no shoulder. It was the 'skyway'. Option 2: take the skyway... feel the fear and do it anyways... slow down at the merge and simply let people in so I could stay in the right lane and let others go around me.
So, I started up the skyway one day while listening to Lucinda telling me in my head 'feel the fear and do it anyways'. Of course, as I began the climb I saw a huge semi truck speeding up the merge ramp, knowing that no matter how I timed it, he would need to merge in. That means I would be stuck going to the left lane with this huge truck 'trapping' me on the right. As we approached each other I simply turned up the volume on my tape and slowed WAY down so he could get in front of me. I continued to go slow the rest of the bridge trip, and look, I am still here today!
I know it feels impossible, and even when I don't have to drive on expressways/highways for a while I am filled with anxiety. When I have to drive on these roads several times in a short duration, the anxiety truly does start to diminish because each time I realize more and more that I am in control. Tell yourself you can slow down if you need to, and you can get off on the next exit if you want. If you do, just get right back on.
You're not alone here.
my driving problem is also based on my fear of putting others at danger when I am feeling the anxiety come on. Vehicles are powerful and can do a lot of damage, and I tend to focus on this when I am in a fast-paced traffic situation. Many people have anxiety when traffic is going slow, but I actually prefer this since I am less likely to hurt someone if I'm going at a slow speed! May sound silly to others, but that's how I sometimes feel when I'm driving. I agree that it is very difficult to float with it in a driving (or similar) situation. I never understood how truck drivers do it; they have to stay in control of something that could hurt so many people if something went wrong.
My advice is to start slow. Feel the fear and do it anyways. You can ALWAYS slow down and people can go around you! This has helped me a ton, just knowing I have control to go what speed I want. Who cares if someone honks at you! That is their problem. I promise you that the more you do it, the easier it gets.
In order to follow a career dream of mine I had to go into the city after my regular job for training. That was anxiety producing because I had to drive on an expressway with people potentially merging from the right (I was a nervous wreck almost every day, even leading up to the drive). Then, when training was done I had two choices to get home: 1. Go WAY out of my way, waste time and gas to avoid a very very very tall bridge where traffic can even merge from the right at 70 ft. above the earth, two small lanes with no shoulder. It was the 'skyway'. Option 2: take the skyway... feel the fear and do it anyways... slow down at the merge and simply let people in so I could stay in the right lane and let others go around me.
So, I started up the skyway one day while listening to Lucinda telling me in my head 'feel the fear and do it anyways'. Of course, as I began the climb I saw a huge semi truck speeding up the merge ramp, knowing that no matter how I timed it, he would need to merge in. That means I would be stuck going to the left lane with this huge truck 'trapping' me on the right. As we approached each other I simply turned up the volume on my tape and slowed WAY down so he could get in front of me. I continued to go slow the rest of the bridge trip, and look, I am still here today!
I know it feels impossible, and even when I don't have to drive on expressways/highways for a while I am filled with anxiety. When I have to drive on these roads several times in a short duration, the anxiety truly does start to diminish because each time I realize more and more that I am in control. Tell yourself you can slow down if you need to, and you can get off on the next exit if you want. If you do, just get right back on.
You're not alone here.
Lindalee, Glad to hear the white lines is cleared up. It does take time for the foot to grow out. Sounds like the Farriers who have seen her know what they are looking at. They probably do not want to cover up where the white lines was, with a glue on for fear of it coming back. It likes to live in places where air does not get to. They would also know if they could not nail into it safely. One good thing about horses feet, they do grow, figure 1 year to get from top to bottom.
Your so right that keeping your self a prisoner of guilt will not "fix" anything. If the horse is fairly healthy (being 25 some really are) she could over come this problem to a very managable level too. Let her tell you.
My driving fear seams to be of: as long as I have a place to escape I do alright. So if I have cement walls both sides or a tunnel where you can't see the end, I panick. I have to slow down and distract my thoughts. I'll play a cd of some music I really enjoy and turn it up, relax the best I can. Oh I hate semis, 3 lanes traffic. I don't even bother on 6 lanes when we have gone places like Chicago. Those people have to have nerves of steal to take that trip evey morning!!!
Your so right that keeping your self a prisoner of guilt will not "fix" anything. If the horse is fairly healthy (being 25 some really are) she could over come this problem to a very managable level too. Let her tell you.
My driving fear seams to be of: as long as I have a place to escape I do alright. So if I have cement walls both sides or a tunnel where you can't see the end, I panick. I have to slow down and distract my thoughts. I'll play a cd of some music I really enjoy and turn it up, relax the best I can. Oh I hate semis, 3 lanes traffic. I don't even bother on 6 lanes when we have gone places like Chicago. Those people have to have nerves of steal to take that trip evey morning!!!