Anyone living alone out there?

[Paisleegreen]

Gardengirl and TomandBetty, I also understand somewhat at how you are feeling. I lost a son to suicide and have felt different for a long time from everyone else. Then my other children have grown up, so here comes the empty nester part and my husband is busy in the business he started years ago. So I feel alone a lot. Not many people to relate to with my experiences, most women have husband's that have careers where they worked for another company or have a college degree. And not many have also lost a child to suicide. So I get the loneliness part and also the isolating part.

I fear also that my husband could be gone anytime due to accident, I almost lost him to a brain tumor, so I had that reality check and we raised his life insurance. Now I just want him to be healthy, to eat better, so that he will stick around longer or I will be alone with my adult children bossing me around. Three of them work for our business and there is always some drama over what the other sibling does or didn't do. Ugh.

But I truly feel for those of you that are completely alone and I hope that some of us here can be of comfort to you.
Sincerely, Paislee

[gardengirl1531]

Thanks for the responses. Sometimes it's easier to be alone than to be with people who don't "get you". And when you're alone you tend to be more open to communication with others...even if it's just listening and offering encouragement. I find myself feeling lonliest when I'm in a crowd of people...like an outsider looking in. I am concerned because this has been happening to me in my church....I don't fit in with the people with children/grandchildren, elders (I'm 46ish), or young married people. I recently started a new job and feel like I really don't fit in there either....they like to go drink after work and .... well, you know, people with depression issues tend to avoid alchohol. So, yeah, I pretty much feel alone.

[Flyer99]

@tombetty I am so sorry for your loss. That is so tragic and I know you must feel so different now being alone. Things will heal with time.

@gardengirl I feel the same way. At church I don't seem to fit in. I am in the stage where I am single and so don't mix with the married folk with kids and all, yet I don't really mix in with the older people. I do not smoke or drink, so I am not with the "in crowd" who like to go to bars and clubs. I am a great listener and empathizer and consoler. I wish sometimes I could console myself as I do other people. I have a nice group of friends and neighbours that I regularly talk with on the telephone so that is a lot of help. And the friends I have met on here are wonderful although with all the website changes and no online chat anymore, 90% of them I never see any longer and that is sad.

Take care!

[gardengirl1531]

tombetty: I am sorry for your loss and wish you well in your grieving process. It must be a shock to lose your soulmate without warning. Lots of decisions to make and feelings to cope with. I hope you have good support.

Flyer: I see you have been a member of this site for many years. I just joined and am reading that alot of you veteran users are reconnecting. It's good to get fresh perspective too. I know what you mean about being the consoler to others instead of the consolee once in awhile. I need to get better at speaking without so many words and get to the point before I bore people.

SoWhatIf: I agree that one makes the program what it is (or isn't) for themselves. We all are a work-in-progress and need to examine our own needs and habits (for better or worse) to continue to grow as people.

Since the topic here is "Living Alone" I'd like to suggest listing a few positives. I like to have just popcorn for supper sometimes. I never have to wait to use the bathroom either. I can watch anything I want on TV and channel surf without annoying anyone. If I don't make the bed in the morning no one cares. Human companionship is as close as the phone or website. AND no one knows if I pass gas

[Flyer99]

Hi gardengirl, I chuckled when I read your positives on living alone. Thanks so much. That made my day!

[Paisleegreen]

Very funny, Gardengirl!

[CharmCity]

Hello There,
Yes I live alone and have been experiencing some anxiety again---it seems to come after some big life event or illness-AND you are so right when you are alone too much of the time you find yourself obsessing about the "feelings" of anxiety, and it just goes around and around. Sometimes I go out and make myself go to the gym, or shopping just to try to "feel" like I'm ok. I'd be happy to chat with you here on this board, or by email----I think we who have bouts of anxiety need the support of other folks who have been in the same situation----I doubt if other people would understand how consuming the feelings of anxiety and depression can be sometimes. I wish you the best and hope to see your response sometime here!!

[gardengirl1531]

Welcome Charm City- I am also a newbie to this website and have wondered if this site is too tainted by porn and issues other than people truly trying to recover from anxiety and depression. I'm not living alone but am lonely is the respect that others don't understand my constant pain and I get exhausted from trying to hide it. Everyone has problems....so why would they want to hear about mine? Bedides they offer cheap psychology or fail to understand the real issues. So I try to be a good listener and encourager to others so I don't feel like I'm unloading on them all the time. You're right about the isolation thing causes the down spiral. I've told a few close friends that it's when they DON'T hear from me that they should probably call. Everyone's so busy that they think you are too and then they realize they haven't seen you or heard from you in awhile.......not a good sign for someone with depression. I like the website because I can put my thoughts down instead of having them race around in my head. And it's a bonus when someone actually responds. Best Wishes!

[Paisleegreen]

Gosh, Gardengirl, you nailed it right on the head! I have the same feelings. Paislee

[gardengirl1531]

Which ones? I was sort of rambling