Acceptance (Interactive)....Very Important...Please read

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Sat Sep 13, 2008 6:08 pm

Thank you for your kind words. I'm one of those types that thinks all or nothing...at least thats my background...I'm really learning to change it.

Now for getting through resistance.

First thing is first...Accept it. Of course you have resistance towards _______ because of this situation or because you've had bad experiences with it and it creates ________ feelings and its a limitation. It's only normal to feel like that and any attempt I make towards this...(if it doesn't go the way i expected it or not), is going to help me to conquer this limitation. Attempting is the real accomplishment...having it go the way it was planned is just a big bonus.

Mike

MC Grace · Post by **MC Grace** » Sun Sep 14, 2008 2:47 pm

ok. i'm gonna try. . . thanks for your prompt response.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:14 am

You're welcome.

I have a few things i need to accept.

I'm becoming really irritable right now, i can easily become angry and crabby. I'm also finding that i'm more tired right now. This is ok because i'm going through a big detox stage and you cannot do a physical detox without an emotional one as well...they're all interconnected.

It's normal for these feelings to surface right now and there is no reason to feel ashamed for them. I'm working through them and if i do offend people, I can always go back and appologize and I can always forewarn people that i am feeling irritable but it has nothing to do with them. This is a great transition period of my life and i'm going to be a much better person when i'm done. For now, i'm going to go with the flow, listen to my body and i will eventually get to where I'd like to be.

Mike

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:16 am

I may not be right into the program at this moment in time however, I am using the most important part of the program which is the relaxation cd and any and every attempt i make will add to my growth and help me reach my goals. I'm proud of myself simply for that.

Mike

MC Grace · Post by **MC Grace** » Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:17 am

hee hee,
i should come up with a reason for my crabbiness. . . .hmmm. . . . but seriously--wow. i am always saying "wow!" but-i can't think of a comparable word. maybe i need to expand my vocabulary. in any case, the work you are doing for yourself is impressive.

i tried the resistance excercise. it was fairly easy, since you spelled it out for me. i made comfortable progress.

it has to do with taking more risks. . . write more later. . .

MC Grace · Post by **MC Grace** » Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:41 am

alright, so i have a little more time to write now. this is what i've been working on:
part of my job includes sales and networking.

and i'd found myself resisting reaching out to people. . . i was making excuses for myself ("when i feel better" "when i'm dressed better" "when i'm wearing makeup" etc.). this was going beyond compassionate self-talk to (gulp

laziness).

this bad habit of avoidance was having a negative effect on my self-esteem and my work--and i was starting to worry excessively. (clenching my teeth a whole lot and i had more headaches than i've had in awhile).

so i got out my blue Stress card that says: choose a daily worry time and be a problem solver. and i decided to participate in this encouraging/challenging thread. (of course, i prayed, too.)

i have to say--i've had a breakthrough. i am reaching out to people. i am sharing with people about my work. this feels so much better than going home at the end of the day with a lot of regrets. i am taking more risks! and getting a thicker skin! and it's happening much more quickly than i imagined. i believe this is positively influencing by business, too.

btw it helps to know that Mike and others here might check in and give me feedback. thanks for the motivation. .. .

(deep down there's still a lot of fear for me concerning this stuff. but i am proud of myself--i've made progress.)

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:15 pm

Wow Mc Grace. That sounds great. I can relate to how challenging it can be to reach out to others as I have this same limitation. It is soooo funny the excuses that we try to come up wiht in order to avoid the limitation. It is amazing that you are doing a job that has sales and networking...especially with a limitation like this. That is just awesome. It really sounds like you are making alot of progress. You're seeing the benefits of taking risks first hand and you are sharing with us a great deal of energy.

By the way...there is a connection between clenching teeth and headaches.

Keep up the good work.

Mike

Erin B. · Post by **Erin B.** » Mon Oct 27, 2008 7:08 am

Well well....Ok. I am not sure how I feel about this yet but I will say what I have to say.

I was thinking that I failed at the program because I am repeating it, but it looks like I am not the only one going through again. I thought I failed because I have never completed it and here WELCOME BACK are the panic feelings. The first time I got to week 13 and felt great and just stopped, then after 6 years everything came back. I got the program again and started it and stopped several times. This time I said I will do it and complete it.

There is a difference this time as everything in my life is great! Well we all know about money, but everything else is great and I want to enjoy my life but I feel that there is something just not right. I know it is because I feel like it could all come to an end all my happiness, and fail if I do not save money and so on. I have been telling myself that it is not going to end, that I deserve to be happy, not to worry about what I cannot control, and if things do come to an end it was never meant to be. And for the money as long as I continue with the budget and financial planner things will work out, but I still have this stress. I HATE IT!!! It is exhausting! I feel more angry about the anxiety then anything, I feel sad because it is here and consuming me, not letting me enjoy the precious present moment. I am not weak, I am not stupid, how could this be! UGH!

Anyway now that I said that I hope that this is the last time, I hope that I will never feel panic, stress I can handle and work through it, make a plan and stick to it. Panic though the thought of ‘Oh my god my throat is tight, oh my tongue is swelling, I am going to chock’ CRAP needs to leave!! Leave me ALONE! ‘ooo a twinge in my leg is it a blood clot that will go to my heart and stop it’ GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!

Please someone tell me that it will go away and never come back! I need to believe this. I just want to enjoy my happiness, my life, the day, the week, the month!

Lots of love Erin

Green Grove · Post by **Green Grove** » Mon Nov 10, 2008 3:49 pm

Thanks Mike and everyone else. Acceptance is really hard, and so true. This is what I needed to hear to be able to heal a little bit more:) I love myself and "flaws" now, so I feel that I am making an improvement:) Thanks!

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:30 am

McGrace brought up a good point here about going beyond compassionate self talk to laziness. I could see where this could happen and have often questioned this in myself. Am I avoiding something and making excuses or am I being compassionate with myself and my limitations? Is it possible to be too compassionate with ourselves, and do we need to give ourselves some tough love sometimes?