Well, an interesting turn of events have occurred. DH came to me and felt that maybe we should have FIL come live with us. I discussed my feelings about FIL and his circumstances and that I'm worried about him. I also started visualizing him living with us and what I would have to give up for that to happen.
My first thought is maybe this is a good idea, so DH called his brother to see what he thought. This brother had called him earlier with concerns between two siblings that are insisting my FIL order some coal for the winter. My FIL has been stubborn about using coal to heat his house, partly could be he is too old and worn out to care for the burning of the coal and the other is $ concerns. Which there isn't a concern except in his own mind.
Well, after talking w/ the one brother, there was concern that maybe one of the sisters might not like us taking "over". So DH called that sister and she was relieved, but by the time that conversation came about or was done, I started thinking more vividly what this might do to my recovery!
The extra noise that comes with another TV being on, another person hard of hearing and snores. Even if FIL is independent, he is still in my house, and could fall down, could break things, need watching as he went outdoors, and so on!
I want to help FIL out, and he might not live for very longer or he could live another 5 years. He might not even want to be with us.
So as was mentioned by both siblings, he could even now just walk out his front door and fall down and stay there. Which he probably wouldn't mind, he misses his wife that has already passed. One SIL is going to drop by and make a suggestion to him to come stay with us for the winter.
Anyway, that is the latest on my concerns for my FIL. I know that I and DH will be able to take him to see a Dr and hopefully will get him to take a shower w/ some help with simple bathing equipment and physical assistance.
I'm not a nurse, but did go to college taking classes needed for the nursing program and then I changed my mind. I do have a degree where I do work with people in hospitals though. And my mother was an RN. I've always been interested in caring for people and critters, and I study health issues at my leisure. Always interested in how the body and brain works.
THH--I'm glad your father has a GF that cares for your Dad. That is really helpful for you and your peace of mind.
Ninja--I'm finding out via conversation w/ different SIL that they do worry, but can only do so much when they have a fulltime job, etc. and she does the best she can. She has the same misgivings about having the possibility of FIL living with her just to keep him warm. But everyone works in her household and he would be all alone and probably fall down the stairs or break something.
So the end discussion is that all we can do is try it out and if it doesn't work out w/ FIL and me or DH, he can always go back home and deal with the situation there. He is 87 and is eventually going to fall when noone is looking and possibly have a head concussion or bleeding in the brain. Maybe a broken leg and then sent to a nursing home.
But at least the offer was made and we'll just see out it goes.
