"What if" thinking

[Rachael9700]

Hello everyone,
You have to go to your appointment Bklynbee, I know, for me if I have someone to go with is always helpful.
Are you still walking? Loveslife, you have so much good advice. Paisleegreen, how are you? Have you been
meditating? How is that going? I have good days, bad days, good days, bad days. It's not evening out as
fast as I would like. Today is a so-so day, Mondays for me are always difficult.
Rachael

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Rachael! I've been "meditating" in my own way, a lot of thoughtfulness, praying, weeping, dreaming...and so forth!
But I have reaped the rewards of my efforts! This is for all you to know besides Rachael.

A dear friend I've known since we 4 years old, called me the other day! I was totally surprised! I have not heard her voice for over 8 years! Just recently connected last summer via mail. And before that connected via mail by her initiation through a cute card and then I was able to fill her in on what happened to my son and other family events and deaths.

But this was amazing to get this phone call out of the blue as I have been doing a lot of thinking about her and wondering how she was doing. I was the one that initiated years ago a not contact w/ negativity via email on the bad advice of a Life Coach.
I was too afraid to talk to her on the phone after she called me about the email. So it was very hard when I did lose my son that I couldn't call her.

Anyway, my prayers and positive thinking, along with soul searching has paid off. R, yes, I have a Twinkle in My Eye, that you can't believe! But the twinkle was getting there as you surmised in your last posting to me here. But now it is even bigger!

I'm going to leave you with this news, which came at a time when I have been sick in bed for 9 days! I did go see the Dr today and I'm on antibiotics. So BB...call up the DR and "just do it". Paislee

[Rachael9700]

Hi Paisleegreen,
Wow, what a powerful mind you have Paislee, you were just thinking about her and then she calls you. Good you went to the Dr., hope you are better very soon. Yes, BB you should go see your Dr. Hope everyone is working hard towards their goals. Have a good day.
Rachael

[Paisleegreen]

Yes, Rachael, this hasn't been the first time either. I've had a lot of inspiration regarding this dear friend through out our lives.
I introduced her to her husband through inspiration and many times have gone home at the right time to get a phone call from her with news that I already surmised. This was back when there weren't any cell phones. She is a great friend and I truly missed her during my darkest hour. So the joy of her return is very sweet. Paislee

[bklynbee]

Just wanted to say hello to everyone...I got my monthly friend today so it is a real blah day....tomorrow will be better though! I hope all of you are doing well! I cant seem to move pass the fear of leaving my house...it is like I am stuck and I dont know how to get out of it...I really hope I will be able to change this soon.

[Paisleegreen]

I hope so too, BB. I had to overcome my anxiety over taking antibiotics, then after taking the what I thought one pill twice a day, I read the label and I was suppose to take 2 pills twice a day! Ugh! Paislee

You can do it! We'll cheer you on!

[bklynbee]

Hi everyone...just wanted to let you know I have been forcing myself to go out of the house everyday...Friday I went to the post office by myself, yesterday took my dog for a 45 min walk then went to the grocery store by myself and cooked dinner...i think the last time i cooked was thanksgiving and today took a walk to the drug store....I am so proud of myself for this..I have also been trying to eat better as well....I am so grateful for this program and talking to all of you...it has really made me look at myself and the world differently...I hope all of you are doing well! Have a great evening!

[tina martin]

This is such nice news to read, BB. I have great faith in our brain: it wants us to be healthy, to feel good. Whatever activity you can manage will enhance your brain's ability to produce the natural feel good chemicals. They build on each other to enhance your mind-body connection. The more you do the better it gets.

Forcing yourself is correct too. I also have a great belief in the power of our Will. This attitude is nothing less than the philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer well before Freud ever came along, before classical psychology. In my mind it has great validity today too.

Cheers to you. Keep us posted.

[AshleyZ]

Hi there,

I remember having anxiety as bad as yours. It sounds like it can make you feel quite impulsive as well - thats all just a part of anxiety. Something someone told me is this anxiety is not 'who' you are, its just something your experiencing right now so you dont need to feel guilty for what your going through, its not your fault and you are not to blame. It was about 5 years ago now that I had it that bad, sometimes you depend on others because you feel you cant do it yourself. Thats also part of anxiety feelings, but its not true - you CAN do it and you CAN get through it, with or without others. I'm so glad to see everyone on here being so supportive, it is such a beautiful thing. I have searched for support myself and got not much, I've learned how to help myself but its always so great to talk to people in your worst moments. I had to go on medication in order to even begin feeling I could get a grip - the anxiety was too strong. Once I went on meds it was much easier to feel calm and do self talk etc - sometimes the anxiety is just too much. The jittery feelings everyday, not going away, etc can be calmed by medication. A person who also went through it told me that it takes some time to find a medication that works - you need to be patient and persevere. She had different symptoms from different meds but after awhile found one that finally worked and she was good for a year. I know it may be scary but if the doctor is wanting to work with you you can keep trying and find one that helps. I tried 3 different meds before I found something that worked - it made SUCH a difference in my journey and helped me get a grip better so I could start working on things and building my confidence again. You may think your all these crazy things right now but its untrue. I used to 'mourn' the loss of who I was and thought I would never be the person I used to be, thought i would never laugh or enjoy things again or be stable again like I was - but it was all just my anxiety thinking and I didnt know the difference enough to see it at the time. But I began to regain who I was and am back to the same person, who still struggles with anxiety at times - but you haven't lost your beautiful self - that is and always will be you even if you dont feel it at the time. The first thing is to get your anxiety calmer - you can do it through relaxation, thought training, getting support here, medication, etc. You will learn what works for you hun but you got this! You ARE strong! For people to experience these things I believe they are stronger than anyone else out there who can go through life, even hard times without feeling such panic & anxiety inside. You got this girl!! Keep going! I will be praying for you too.

[Paisleegreen]

BB, Hurray for you! Good Job! Way to go! You have done a lot and worked through your anxiety! Awesome! AshleyZ, thanks for your great advice and your experience of letting us know that there is hope and we can be happy and brave again. Paislee